Accidental Tourist
by GuruGaddy
Summary: It was just a case of the wrong place, the wrong time and probably the wrong country. I was never really cut out for being a tourist. So you can imagine the horror of being forced to go holidaymaking in a realm of Gods. (OC x ?)
1. Tourism 01

I guess it was just a case of the wrong place, the wrong time and probably the wrong country. I was never really cut out for being a tourist. So you can imagine the horror of being forced to go holidaymaking in a realm of Gods. But, it's your lucky day. You don't have to imagine it. I'm going to tell you all about it, in all of it's horridly glorious detail.

* * *

**Tourism 01: Never listen to your teacher.**

* * *

Being a tourist is hard. There's always that terrifying moment when you realise that not every foreign person in the world knows the English language and then you're stuck there for a good ten minutes waving your hands about in a bizarre game of charades trying your best to get the foreigner to understand you. God it's terrifying. The person you are 'talking' to could be a murder, molester, mugger, or some other malicious occupation beginning with M... That's why I always make sure I bring along a buddy to talk to the locals for me.

However, this time, I was on my own. Just one young woman armed with a bag of cameras and a pepper spray. You see, I was very eager to see the local shrine and unfortunately none of my classmates shared that sentiment. I thought at least the teachers would have shown an interest, but nope! They were all going shopping at the town centre and I was told by Mr Macklin to try to have a look around as a solo tourist. Okay, granted I'm nearly 18 and am meant to be an adult now or whatever my parents keep telling me, but really? What happened to all these protective laws that get teachers into some deep shit if they let students go wandering wherever they like. If something were to happen to me my government and media would be on Mr Macklin faster than he could say 'Kon'nichiwa'.

So no one on my school trip likes Japanese culture. What's a girl to do?

Take Mr Macklin's advice and march off on your own into a strange unknown area of course.

I wandered around for some time, snapping pictures as I went just like one of your regular obnoxious sightseer. I did get quite lost (more so than I would like to recount) but I was pretty adamant about not asking for directions – _anyone would think I was your stereotypical I-don't need__-any-help-husband _– so I just ambled until, low and behold, I came across the shrine I had researched on the internet. I had been rather lucky to come across it. It was only after catching sight of a girl with an utterly outstanding head of purple hair go bounding up a long set of steps that could only lead to the location of the shrine. Only a shrine could be important enough to have that many steps.

I passed two men when going up the steps. It was awkward. They were both staring at me, with very curious looks on their face. I suppose they didn't get many English women moseying around their neighbourhood. The constant stares I got in foreign countries always made me think I had something on my face. Well, there was nothing on my face then, unless you count the Englishness smothered all over it. You know, the freckles, more defined jaw, blue eyes, fair hair, lanky body. Ah, how very western of me.

Fortunately the men didn't stop me for a conversation, or god forbid a photo. A gaggle of Japanese girls had asked my friend and I for one the other day. Never again.

I reached the top (severely out of breath) and marvelled in a sweaty breathless silence at the beauty of the shrine. I whipped out one of my many fabulous cameras – I am somewhat passionate about photography – and began to take pictures. That was until a man with a broom beckoned me over. I was considering running away (you never know when a malicious M might pop up) but he had glasses and a broom. I liked glasses. I liked brooms. Of course nobody bad would have both glasses and a broom.

He was talking to me and I could only shake my head and drawl out, "English."

"Ah!" Realisation dawned on him and he was immediately ushering me towards a woman who stood behind an open window.

Now this woman knew her English.

"Of course you can look around," she answered me with a warm smile. Oh, I do so love foreign people (the non-malicious M ones). "Actually, how about my daughter shows you around? She can give you a tour all around the shrine."

The question 'She knows English too, right?' was on the tip of my tongue but I refrained from being that annoying tourist and thanked the woman. She pointed me towards the nearby shed – apparently that's where her daughter was.

"Hello? Sorry to intrude..." I said, poking my head around the shed door.

"Whoa!" As soon as I had stepped inside the structure I was enveloped in a warm blue glow. "Funky lights!" I exclaimed, my hands going straight for my camera.

There was a gasp and my attention was drawn to the girl ahead of me, enveloped in the same blue glow. It was the girl from before, the one with the purple hair. Barely had I made that realisation before the world around me fell away and everything became white.

* * *

_Updated 30.03.16_


	2. Tourism 02

**Tourism 02: If in doubt, assume drugs.**

* * *

I felt like I had been run over by a freight train. Or had a piano dropped on my head. Or had been snapped up by a folding wall bed. I don't know. Something slapstick, comedic, and cartoon-like. And you know how the character always sees little stars or tweety birds after the unfortunate accident? I'm pretty sure that was what I was seeing.

I sat up, in a state of complete grogginess, and looked around, slurring like a drunken old age pensioner, "...Whasss all thisss then? Hmmm?"

My vision was beginning to clear and my head was feeling slightly less like lead, which was a small mercy considering the amount of bullshit I had just stepped into. Of course I didn't know that yet, so I could only appreciate my current situation, or more so, location. I screamed.

"Oh my god! Oh my freaking iconic moronic catatonic god!" Half my body was dangling precariously off the side of a ledge. I flailed around in a panic to heave myself up onto stable ground, all the while screeching like a banshee.

When I finally made it onto the solid marble surface I lay there in a state of shell-shock. "Oh my... Oh no... Oh... Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

I would say composure tended to be a key aspect to my personality but, you know, I hadn't really been expecting that.

But once my friend composure began to return and the terror ebbed out of my system I was able to have a slow and evaluative look around. The first most outstanding (and alarming) point of interest was the fact that I was not where I had been before, which had been a shed...in Japan. And this did not look like Japan. The architecture was all wrong – the pillars, the arches, the whiteness of it all – it was almost like a cross-over between a grammar school and an ancient Greek temple. _Very odd. _And then there were vines and fruits everywhere, climbing all over everything. This kind of flora certainly did not seem to grow natively to Asian countries. Then there were land masses in the distance that appeared to defy the forces of gravity. _What would a bloody floating island be doing in Japan?_ _Floating islands do not exist!_

"Wait... What?!" Realisation hit me and I was sent reeling back by the sudden recognition, my mind spinning out of control as I desperately tried to grip onto some form of stable logic. Floating islands were surely not logical.

Jeez, that scared the crap out of me. _A floating island?_ I did not learn about them in A-level geography. _A dream, a dream..._

_It has to be a dream_, I told myself.

_An extremely lucid dream_, another part of my mind supplied with a smirk_. In fact, maybe too lucid..._

"Shut up," I mumbled. It was definitely was not the right time to start a war with my mentality. I needed to find some answers before my mind could jump to the conclusion of being kidnapped and drugged._Oh..._ Too late.

"Shiiiiittt," I moaned, dragging my hands over my face.

Today was not going to be a good day. I could already tell that much.

_Curse you Mr Macklin for not taking interest in your students' whereabouts!_

I was wandering around for ages, like, a really long time. Yet I didn't bump into to a single soul as I walked the lonely halls of this palace-like structure, which only further lead me to believe I was on some kind of drug.

But then I stumbled across these huge wooden doors and when I say huge, man, I mean HUGE. I could probably stack five people on top of each other and they would still not be as tall as the doors. I had not a clue to how I would be able to open something so massive, yet I knew I had to at least try. My spidy-senses were tingling after all. Plus, big wooden double doors always mean business.

Surprisingly, the doors were very easy to open, almost as if I were pushing on polystyrene. _Have I stumbled upon some kind of abandoned movie set? _There were many theories whizzing around my cranium, but for that moment the most believable theory was still drugs. You see, as soon as I walked in, in an even more surprising manner than easily opened giant-ass doors (and completely matching up to my drug speculation), I saw a man morph into a boy.

"Whoooooaaa, someone has definitely slipped some LSD into my drink."

Both people in the room turned to stare at me, dumbfounded. Their jaws were hanging open in the same kind of fashion I imagine a jaw would hang open if someone enquired to when you last took a dump. I felt like my presence must have killed whatever mood these people had going on. The little blonde boy did not seem very happy about it once he had managed to collect himself, yet the other person continued to stare. _She looks familiar..._

"Hey," I pointed at her enthusiastically as my epiphany arrived, jumping up and down and making a point to wave at her, "I know you! I know you! Well, I don't _know_ know you, but I know you!"

Now both their brows were furrowed together. They looked incredibly confused.

The blonde boy turned on the purple haired girl. He seemed to be asking questions rapidly in some other language. _Japanese?_ I didn't understand.

I ran to the girl's side (effectively interrupting their conversation), grabbing her hands and shaking them imploringly, "Were you drugged too? Were you? You were, weren't you? I mean, this can't be real. But then are we having the same hallucinations? Unless you're a hallucination... Ah!" I sprang back from her in alarm and she stumbled back a few steps too with wide eyes. "Don't come near me, illusion! Don't even think of-"

A booming voice cut off my hysterical rant. I had no idea what it said but the next minute a blinding light, not unlike the one I had seen in the shed, appeared on my inner wrist. It hurt like hell, like someone was pressing a red hot iron to my skin. But it was only there for a second, a fleeting sensation, and then the pain was gone.

"There, now we can understand each other. That should work nicely." I looked to the speaker. It was the boy, that smug looking boy waving around some magical druggie staff.

"You're speaking my language," I was so shocked I almost forgot my previous pain. With a near smile dawning upon my face, I said, "Great! Hold on— what should work nicely?"

I looked at my wrist. There was a tattoo, sweeping and elegant, in the shape of a Japanese character. Yet it was still a tattoo. "You've given me a tattoo?!"

I did not like tattoos.

"What the bleeding hell have you done, you absolute twat? I don't want a tattoo! Do you know what this thing will look like when I get old?" I demanded shrilly, jabbing at the mark, dark against my pale skin. "It will look distorted and wrinkly. My future grandchildren will never respect me now!"

"A particularly vulgar mouthed little human, aren't you?"

"Little? Little? You Sir are the only little one I see here!" It was then that he morphed back into an older age. "Okay, not so little. Right." I was beginning to feel a bit faint.

"I can appear to be small, but know that whatever form I may take, visible to your eye, could never possibly match up to my true power. I am unfortunately stuck in this meagre form, all for the benefit of the human eye."

I pulled a face at all his talk of power and meagre forms. "Uh... Who are you?"

"I am Zeus, the god who rules the heavens."

The way he was looking down at me from the thrown- _god almighty_! He was a pompous little git, wasn't he? Well, maybe not so little. But he could be little and that justified my insult well enough. He might as well have been mooning me and telling me to kiss his arse cheeks. But he definitely reminded me of someone I met at some sci-fi convention once. Some guy dressed up as Spock, telling me why a woman couldn't possibly come to the convention as Scotty. Telling me it was completely out of cannon or whatever bollocks he was going on about.

"Are you, like, as cos-player or something?"

"I will call down my lightning upon you girl!"

Now the purple haired girl intervened, leaping between the two of us in a panicked frenzy. "No, no! Zeus, please, that is not necessary." She turned to me with a nervous expression, whispering anxiously, "Please, do not upset him. He really is a god."

"But I'm on drugs." I stated simply.

"Wha-" She gave me a look of bewilderment, before her face switched to uneasiness again, "No, you're not on drugs, at least, I don't think you are. I hope I'm not either..."

It suddenly dawned upon me that I was conversing with this girl. So that must mean... "You know English!"

"Eh? I don't know English."

"But you're speaking to me in..." Now it was my turn to be confused, but only for a moment. I took a glance at the symbol of my wrist and managed to put two and two together. I peered round the girl's body at 'Zeus'. He sat lounging on his throne, appearing rather disgruntled as he drawled, "Kusanagi Yui, need I remind you that I am God of the heavens? Whispering is not going to stop me hearing your conversations, especially in my domain."

This so called 'Yui' flinched, immediately jumping to bow and apologise to him. I on the other hand, swept past Yui with the same kind of frown I tend to have on my face when someone goes into my room uninvited. I crossed my arms and exclaimed, "I'm speaking Japanese!"

"Yes, you are." Zeus watched me with a droll glint to his eyes.

My lips began to take on a smile I could hardly keep down. I spoke again, this time with the loss of my annoyance, "I'm speaking Japanese! Yessss! Get in there!"

"And now that you are speaking Japanese, I would like to ask: what you are doing here?"

"I dunno." I shrugged, because really, how could he expect me to answer that? Wasn't he meant to be god of the heavens? He should know.

He appeared to have magically read my mind or, more likely so, was just able to predict the thoughts of a 'meagre' human such as myself. "A God cannot control all, as much as that may seem to be the case. Humans have a certain element of free will to them unfortunately. You may have simply got caught up in something you shouldn't have...Unless you simply act clueless, human. If that were to be the case I would not be afraid to smite you down where you stand. I would not put it past certain other God's to meddle with my plans and by sending you here someone may have done just that."

He cast a lazy glance over me that struck chills down my spine. "Are you a spy, human?"

"The former, I would think." I answered hastily, pretty unnerved by the sudden change in atmosphere. "You know, with the free will. Wandering into your plans by accident and all that malarkey. I don't think I have the aptitude needed to be a spy." _Although pretending to be a super spy is one of my favourite past times, _I added silently in my head.

Zeus kept his sharp gaze trained upon me for a moment longer and then let out a sigh, eyes closing in resign. "It seems my planning was not meticulous enough. An unwanted straggler slipped into my net."

"Well...Can you lob me back out of the net?"

"That would be an improvident choice of action on my part. I've already squandered enough energy. I do not wish to waste anymore, for I will need to be in best shape for the days to come."

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me." I groaned, slapping my face into my two welcoming palms.

"I do not kid, human." He told me frigidly, before turning his attention back to the other human in the room, "Kusanagi Yui."

"Y-Yes," Poor girl nearly jumped out of her skin.

"You are in luck. Another human will be joining you with your task."

"Task?"

"Yes, the task I was going to tell you about before we were rudely interrupted." A rogue glare was sent in my direction. "Although I'm not sure this one will be of much help to you."

Was I meant to take offence to that? It was pretty rude. In fact, most of the things he said about me were rather derogatory. God or not, being that rude deserved a slap round the face.

"What is your name human?"

"Alice Roth."

"So then, Alice Roth," Zeus drawled, "Kusanagi Yui. Listen well, for here is my task for you..."

* * *

_Updated 30.03.16_


	3. Tourism 03

**Tourism 03: Punch anything small and yellow.**

* * *

The door clicked shut behind us and I remained standing in the entranceway with a contemplative look on my face. "What a wonderful welcoming..." I couldn't help but laugh sadly at my own sarcasm. "The bunch of tossers."

It turned out that the great and powerful git of the heavens' task for us was to help a bunch of morally, socially and not-so-physically challenged gods find their way in life on a whirlwind adventure of happiness, love and angst. Basically, we've got to re-enact E.T. but with gods (excluding the part where the government attempts to dissect E.T. because that would be weird). Yui and I would be like Elliot while the gods would be E.T. and we were going to help them home but at the same time try to teach them about ourselves and to extension the human race. Really, that was the only way I could possibly cope with what Zeus was saying. It would sound incredibly stupid though if I were to tell him I had condensed his plan to the plot of a 1980's Spielberg movie. If Zeus were to even know what a movie was. I mean, I had a feeling gods were not as omniscient as religious documents claimed them to be, so in my mind, Zeus probably did not have a grand knowledge of films. And what a great shame that was.

I wasn't so angry about the whole prospect of teaching gods, not after my thoughts about E.T. It was like being able to star in a real life movie. When would I get a chance like this again? My family wouldn't even know I was gone. That's what Thoth said at least. He seemed like a well-to-do grumpy smart arse though, so I trusted him. But that weird press-against-the-wall-harassment stunt he pulled with Yui hadn't left me feeling so great. I just hoped he would never do the same to me. I like to have full control over my personal bubble. I can go into other people's bubbles, but other people aren't allowed in mine.

Although my anger had gone from levels of boiling to simmering, it was still very much present. I was simply annoyed at the way Zeus had conducted himself today. Like I have already mentioned, he was a git. He talked like a git, he walked like a git, and his whole plan was just generally git-ish. He had not given forewarning to anyone. I would forgive him for my case because I was a surprise addition, but he could have easily told the god's especially since one was his son and another was his brother. Just sit them down over a nice cup of tea and explain – that's what I would have done. And Yui could have at least had some sort of wacky prophecy dream to request her services. That kind of thing happens in religious texts all the time.

But there was nothing that could be done about it now. It was just bothersome really.

Maybe I could teach the gods a sense of politeness and civility while I was here (Zeus too). It might sound stupid, seeing as I can sometimes have a bit of a sailor's mouth, but I at least try to act with graciousness a good portion of the time in my own round-about way.

Yui smiled awkwardly at me. I don't think she was entirely as cosy with swear words as I was. "I guess we'll just have to make the best of it." _Uh-oh, Alice you're not being polite enough._ _You're making her feel uncomfortable. She's Japanese, remember?_

In an instant I put on my most regal air. _Just pretend you're Queen Elizabeth. Just not so old. _"Indeed we shall Miss Yui. I plan to." With a resolute nod I marched into 'our' room, yet a graceful march (the type of march a high-born lady would do), only to trip and fall quite dramatically on an unidentified object. I fell in a mess of flailing limbs and unrefined squawks. Not quite what I had intended.

"Alice!" Yui cried, quickly rushing over to help me up. She pulled me off the floor and into a sitting position. I clutched at my stomach with a moan. "Are you alright?"

"Splendid..." I wheezed, feeling rather winded from my fall. I had landed on something quite hard, straight on the belly as well. I was probably going to get a bruise.

"I can't say the same for myself!" A voice with an impressive twang to its enunciation spoke out and for the life of me I could not work out where it was coming from. It really freaked me out. Same for Yui it seemed like.

"Down here."

We both looked down. It was a little yellow monster.

I punched it.

He flew backwards a good few metres before sitting up and rubbing his face, a clear glare aimed at me. "Argh! What did you do that for?"

"I'm sorry. You scared me." I exclaimed defensively, though feeling rather relieved he wasn't showing any kind of hostile nature.

"A doll?" Yui said, with her expression being somewhere between horror and amazement.

"How rude!" The monster (I guess I'll be calling him) stamped a foot. "I'm Melissa. I'm here to look after you... and I suppose this one too." he added after a moment of deliberation.

_Well, I can see my stay here will be enjoyable, _I thought dryly. _Better turn this monster's frown upside-down!_

"How rude! I'm Alice Roth." I spoke in an imitation of the monster, even copying his strange accent. Hopefully he would take my joke in good taste. "Not 'this one'."

Melissa seemed like he wanted to laugh, but instead said with a thoughtful frown. "I'm not sure whether to like you or not..."

_On the cusp of liking me, I see._ It was a start at least.

"Wait, you're going to look after us?" Yui enquired, kneeling down to match my and the monster's height.

"Certainly! Zeus fashioned me from clay." he told us proudly.

"Clay?"

"Heh, like that scene from Ghost, was it?" I chuckled at my joke. I wasn't expecting anyone else in the room to get it though. Maybe Yui...

"Unfortunately not." Melissa replied with a raised eyebrow, clearly both disgruntled and amused at my imaginings of Zeus creating him in such a sensual manner.

I was shocked (quite happily so) to see Melissa understood the reference. "Hey, the little clay monster knows what I'm talking about." I wasn't quite sure where he would get his hands on modern day technology and media. So far I hadn't seen much in the way of appliances. There were no plug sockets either, which had me worried for the fact that over half my camera collection was battery powered. I was lucky my collection was so extensive. I would have to be conservative about how often I used them. It would be a difficult task.

"I'm not a monster!" he exclaimed indignantly and turned from me with a noise of dissatisfaction to face Yui. "Most myths describe humans as having been made by gods from clay or earth. In my case, there was a little mistake."

"A big mistake." I snorted. I hadn't meant to, nor had I meant to make such a comment. Well, I had, but it wasn't meant to sound so rude. Being a British youth, I was rather used to being fairly abrasive in conduct. It was all tongue and cheek really, but I realised it didn't always come across that way to other cultures.

At least I had the decency to look ashamed afterwards.

"But I do like my body." Melissa said, apparently ignoring my comment.

"Body confidence!" I enthused with a fist pump. Don't judge me. I needed to offer an apology somehow or, at minimum, rectify my slip of the tongue.

"A bit small-" he continued, again ignoring me.

"That's true..."

"-but it's sturdy and mobile."

I nodded enthusiastically. "That's it! Focus and the good points!"

Melissa had waddled over to the table, all the time pointedly snubbing me. He pulled himself up and placed what I assumed were stubby hands onto his little, equally stubby, hips. "In this garden I am your upperclassman. I'll take good care of you. When you're troubled, come talk to me...

"I certainly shall!"

"When you want to cry, you can borrow my shoulder-"

_Cry? Ew, no._ I didn't cry. Well... hardly. The last time I had cried was back in year seven when I split my head open on the pavement. An old lady on a motorcycle had knocked me over. You should never speed, even if you are over 80. Old age is not a valid excuse in court.

But other than that, I am an emotional fortress. Practically Fort Knox – a beautiful, happy, sunny, musically inclined Fort Knox where long-winded jokes are told all day long.

Anyway, I personally thought crying could be rather selfish at times. Not to mention babyish. But then, rather foolishly, I went and voiced that opinion aloud. "Crying is for pansies."

That was the last straw for Melissa. He was the angriest little clay monster I had ever seen – the only clay monster I had ever seen, but still... "Can you stop interrupting my upperclassman speech? Do you know how long I've been rehearsing this?"

"Oh, uh, yeah. Sorry." I offered a sheepish thumbs up in repentance. "Good job." Melissa didn't appear to accept that as a worthy form of apology. He continued to glare at me.

Yui stifled a giggle and smiled at the clay creature. At least someone was happy.

* * *

_Updated 30.03.16_


	4. Tourism 04

**Tourism 04: Beware of foreigners.**

* * *

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Or, if I want to be specific (which I do), it was the wrong side of the sofa, or couch, or loveseat... I'm not good with specifics. Let's call it cushioned furniture.

So, I woke up on the wrong side of the cushioned furniture. Why was I on cushioned furniture you ask? That is because I was now sharing 'Yui's' room – aka 'our' room. As had already been mentioned by Zeus, I was an 'unwanted straggler'. There were not enough rooms in the girl's dormitories apparently. I did ask Thoth why I could not just take the room of one of the spirit students and Zeus magic it back to wherever it came from, but apparently that would mean Zeus squandering more energy than needed. I think that would be the argument against anything I wanted really.

_Zeus, help me! I'm drowning in lava!_

_Sorry, Alice. I don't want to waste my energy._

Don't look at me like that. It could happen.

I was also told I was being selfish by wanting a student to be vanished for my own personal gain. They are your classmates now, Miss Roth, Thoth had told me. It was hard to see them as classmates though. They were shining balls of energy previously; it was difficult for me to imagine them as anything else. And the last part of Thoth's argument had been that sharing a room was 'character building'. If I had to character build with anyone though, I was glad it was Yui. She seemed pretty nice so far. Okay, understatement of the year. She was super nice! She probably hadn't said a bad word in her life. No wonder Zeus had chosen her... and then I flopped into his metaphorical fishnet from the metaphorical ocean of humans and messed up his plans. Ah, what humour the universe has.

Anyway, back to the wrong side of the cushioned furniture. Why did I wake up on the wrong side you ask? Simple, it was a school day. And unfortunately, school days meant waking up early. Not because I took initiative and set myself an alarm or Yui had woke me up. No. This was because, somewhat inexplicably, my body had an internal clock that knew quite precisely when it was a good time to get up. I really hated my biological clock some days – _today being one of those days_. My dad told me that it's an instinctual thing, going back to when humans were monkeys, and chickens were dinosaurs. Yes, I know the dinosaurs and our Neanderthal-monkey-men-ancestors probably were not around at the same time but you get the gist of what I'm saying, right?

No?

It was a long time ago. That's what I'm saying.

Supposedly, instinctually, we can sense the changes in our environment like light and heat and _blah blah blah_ to know when it's time to rise and shine. But then I asked my Dad why I slept till noon at weekends when the sun was high in the sky, yet on weekdays I would be up before it was even light outside. He was stumped on that one. Mum had chimed in then and said it was because that was the routine my body had settled into. I've always said she was the voice of logic.

There was no real problem with my internal alarm most of the time. It was rather helpful in truth. However, it was just messing with my sleep pattern today. It was a weekday, but technically I was still meant to be on holiday for another few days, which meant I had prepared myself for sleeping in to at least nine for some time yet. No sleep-in today though. My body knew I had school apparently.

I rose from my makeshift bed and quickly spotted a sight that made me completely forget my morning grumpiness. Yui was sprawled across her bed, appearance hilariously alike a starfish, with a chunky strand of hair stuck to her cheek with drool. It was rather hard to keep in the laughter that threatened to spill out. Yui just looked so unlike the Yui I had seen yesterday. Yesterday she had been pretty and dignified – graceful even. It seemed she carried none of those traits into sleep however.

I scrambled for the bag I had dropped down last night and fished out a camera. It was a camera I knew to have a loud _click_ on the moment of capture and also a hideously glary flash. Yui awoke with a shriek the moment the flash went off. I couldn't hold in the laughter any longer.

"This one will definitely be going in my holiday album."

* * *

"Huh? Are we early?"

It seemed Yui and I had misheard the time of arrival yesterday, that or we were the only ones interested in escaping the garden. Maybe the gods enjoyed the idea of being trapped inside here for the rest of their immortal lives. Maybe, unlike E.T. they did not want to return home. Maybe they didn't even want to phone home. Of course I knew they did want to return home (that much was obvious from the display they put on in the hall the other day in response to Zeus trapping them here) but I was still stuck on that gods-are-cute-kinda-gross-aliens-in-a-movie train of thought. That thought-train just kept on chugging.

_Oh wait... There's the airy Norse god_. I watched as Balder came hurtling into that hall, straight towards Yui, in a stance that would be somewhat reminiscent of a charging bull if only he was of a stockier build. Instead he had the composition of a stick of bamboo that someone had draped robes over and glued a long blonde wig onto. Just at the point of wondering whether I should rugby tackle him to save Yui's from being trampled, the god slipped and fell flat on his face. _He's worse than me,_ I relished. His clumsiness made me feel so much better about myself.

"G-Good morning." he croaked from the floor.

"Good morning Balder." Yui replied, somewhat awkwardly, and helped him up.

As the kind person I am – or at least as the socially perfunctory person I am – I smiled and also spoke to offer a hello. "Good morn-"

"I'm so happy you remembered my name."

_Rude! _I was left as a bystander to the conversation as Balder's focus remained firmly planted on Yui, staunchly so. I did not know if it was pure ignorance to my presence or if he simply refused to have me as part of the exchange (and if so I did not know how I could have wronged him so early into our residencies in the garden). Either way, I was not happy and I remained staring at him, lips taught, because he so impolitely interrupted me as I was trying to greet him, _the bastard_.

* * *

In the end, after some reflection, it was not any kind of spite that stopped him from greeting me. The sad circumstances were, bizarrely, one of oblivious bliss (for both him and me).

* * *

He was unaware of my presence, far too captivated by Yui to even notice they weren't the only two in the room. _Oh how romantic_, the romantics may say. But no, it's not romantic. It's creepy. He had only just met her and, although I cannot argue against the kind enigmatic purple-haired figure that is Kusanagi Yui, his behaviour was abnormal for a mere acquaintance. Perhaps such rapid connection was within the orthodox for gods, however I doubted it. Quick founded infatuations, akin to the one I sensed developing in that moment, generally suggest mental impairment or a bleak past.

_What was I was saying about teaching gods manners?_ It seemed immediate lessons were required. I decided then that Yui could specialise in teaching human emotions and I would specialise in common courtesy – needed by all creatures, from the disliked flea to the almighty gods. Though I was willing to believe flees might have more courtesy than these beings. It appeared I would have my work cut out for me.

I gave Yui the look. You know the look: the grumpy, exasperated look that begs the understanding of another person. Yui replied with a half-confused, half-apologetic shrug. "Balder, I'm relieved you came. _Alice_ and I," She put emphasis on my name as an attempt to pull me into the conversation I had been so rudely left out of, "thought no one else was coming."

"It's my first time attending a school. I'm so excited." He smiled at the purple haired girl, not once looking or acknowledging me in any way. I was tempted to start a tribal rain dance to see if he would notice.

I gave Yui another look. Did he even just listen to her? Did he have functioning eyes? Did he not understand basic body language?

Right, it was time for lesson one: social awareness.

"Excuse me," I began, but yet again, I was interrupted.

Did he literally tune me out? Was I actually invisible?

_AM I EVEN HERE?_

I started my rain dance.

I listened sulkily, dancing the dance I had learnt from the documentary _The Legacy of the South American Pygmy Men_, as Balder spoke. I didn't like his closeness to Yui. "Hey... Yesterday, you flew on Pegasus with that Greek god, didn't you?" _Back off, bro. I've got a nasty right hook, even against a god._

"Huh? Yes." _Yes, she did. She told me about it and she said it was very enjoyable (even though it's fairly strange that she took a ride with some random Lord-of-the-Pegasi)._ _So don't ask or do anything sketchy, Mr. Norse god._

I started chanting for rain.

Yui cast me a sidelong glance, a questioning and possibly slightly weirded-out glance, but really it also looked like a cry for help. _I know I'm doing a strange dance Yui and it may look like I'm not helping you in the slightest, but it's all for the greater good. It's all part of lesson one._

"Have you always been close?" _Whoa, man. She only just met him._

"No, that was my first time meeting Apollon. He took me to see what kind of place this is." _Yep, you see. She only just met him. Point proven._

"Really? That was the first time... Then, you met me first." Balder took a step even closer to Yui and, to my complete horror and Yui's surprise, laid a hand on her face. _That is not social awareness! _Lesson one was quickly slipping down the drain and into the sea. I could almost see the social awareness floating off into the distance along the shimmering tears of my failure.

I stopped dancing and heaved a sigh. It was time for physical intervention it seemed. I jumped between a freaked out Yui and an enamoured Balder, my hands pushing them apart, probably with more force than was necessary. "A-Alice?" he exclaimed in surprise, barely recovering from my push. He had nearly fallen to the floor again.

"That's right Mr. Norse God," I said angrily, "I am here and you have failed lesson one!"

"Lesson one?" Both he and Yui looked confused.

Oh, I didn't even know where to begin with him. First, he almost barrelled into Yui when trying to say hello. Second, he didn't pick up the presence of a second being in the slightest (despite the fact I gave a lovely rendition of a traditional South American mantra). And third, he engaged in inappropriate, unwanted, unreciprocated touching. He had appalling manners! Even the awkwardness that is Alice Roth knows that much.

I was completely ready to tell him so too. Luckily for Balder, at that moment, the cheery Lord-of-the-Pegasi Apollon and deadpan moon god Tsukiyomi joined the scene. "Good morning fairy! Good morning Balder! Good morning... Uh..."

He didn't know my name.

"Dammit!" I cursed loudly, causing several startled looks in my direction.

Why, oh why, did these gods have no social awareness?

* * *

_Updated 01.04.16_


	5. Tourism 05

**Tourism 05: Other cultures may demand sacrifices.**

* * *

"No one's coming then." Yui's statement summed up our thoughts.

"Yes, I guess we're the only ones after all." Balder agreed with her and I scowled. _Extreme bum licking_, those were my thoughts.

* * *

I'm sorry. That probably sounded a bit salty. Anyone else could have spoken the exact same words and I wouldn't have felt angry at all. But he failed lesson one. I had reason to be salty. As of yet, Balder had nothing to justify that discourteous ignorance. He would in later days. But, for the time being, I was ignorant too.

* * *

"Do they not understand? Don't they get it?" Apollon griped and I could only think, _probably not if they share the same intellect as that I've seen thus far_. Like, how many years old were these guys meant to be? I am sure I would be a bloody genius with over a thousand different degrees to my name if I was immortal. Yet Balder hadn't even picked up basic social awareness in his eternity of living. "Graduation is the only way out of this garden."

"Our entrance ceremony is today..." Yui said concernedly. I turned towards her, nonplussed. Was that some kind of Japanese thing? What did it entail?

"What do you do at an entrance ceremony anyway?" Balder seemed to be having similar thoughts to me, _the bastard_.

"Yeah," I said after a quick frown at the Norse god. "What do you do?"

Tsukiyomi looked surprised. "You do not know?"

"But you're human!" Apollon exclaimed. That's some discriminative thinking there. As if he believed all humans did exactly the same thing.

"I'm not Japanese though." I answered deprecatingly.

"You don't have them where you're from, Alice?" Yui asked and I shook my head.

"Not really. It's more of a 'Hi, have a nice year, go do work now' type of assembly. I wouldn't really call it anything as fancy as 'ceremony'."

"Oh okay, this is something new for you too then." She smiled kindly at me, which quite easily triggered a toothy grin to spread across my face. I really was glad Zeus had chosen Yui. I can't imagine how difficult this year would be if the human he chose was someone I didn't like. Yui was just so likable, too much so for some it appeared (aka Balder). "The new students all assemble. It's kind of a celebration. They promise to study hard together..."

"Promise to study hard together." Tsukiyomi had whipped out a notebook and was now jotting down Yui's explanation. It was a funny quirk for such a mild mannered person. The sight made me feel reminiscent of the people I had befriended back home, the people who liked to camouflage themselves behind conformity or introversion or insipidness but who grow to be increasingly eccentric the more intimate they become.

I watched as the Japanese god's nose twitched slightly as he wrote rapidly. I was both amused by the idiosyncrasy and felt an odd solidarity with his affinity for recording information. It was much alike how I always felt the need to capture a moment with a picture. It was then that I decided he would be my first god friend; there would be no ifs or buts about it. Of course, I celebrated the verdict with a quick snap of the camera hanging around my neck. My desire to befriend Tsukiyomi only increased when he gave no reaction to the flash, still much too determined in his writing to even blink. _Perfect friend material._

"A-Ah... You don't need to take notes." Yui told him.

"A-Ah... You don't need to take notes." Tsukiyomi repeated and I burst out laughing. Yep, he was definitely becoming my friend.

"That isn't what I meant..."

"In other words, is an entrance ceremony a contract ritual?" Balder mused and I nearly choked on my saliva, halting mid-laugh.

"Eh?" Yui looked so overwhelmed. The poor thing.

"If you break your promise will you be met with a terrible curse?" They were on entirely the wrong thread of thought here.

"Eh?"

"Will we need a sacrifice?"

"Bagsy not me!" I shouted quickly.

Hey, if we were going to be rolling with this (and I would not put it past a god to do so) I was going to make sure it would not be at my expense.

"It's not like that at all..." Yui rectified the gods' frazzled thinking, not before giving me a reproachful stare, the type a mother would give when telling their child not to encourage their naughty siblings. "It isn't anything scary."

"It isn't? Good." Apollon said.

Balder sighed. "That's a relief."

"Isn't it, Bastar-I mean Balder!" Yui gave me yet another reproachful stare. It wasn't my fault. It had just slipped out.

Fortunately, Balder had failed lesson one, and thus had not heard my slip up.

Apollon had heard though. He laughed uncomfortably, changing the subject. "In any case, let's split up and convince everyone to attend the entrance ceremony with us. Let's do our best so we can graduate together!"

* * *

_Updated 01.04.16_


	6. Tourism 06

**Tourism 06: Explain your customs carefully.**

* * *

"Hey, hey! Tsukiyomi, my main man! It's me, Alice!" I ran after the quiet god, with a cheery smile plastered to my face which (admittedly) did falter slightly when I realised what I had said. It was the type of thing that would turn you into a social outcast in less than five seconds back home. But I was not back home! I could still salvage the situation.

The Japanese god stopped and turned to me. "Main man?" Tsukiyomi echoed, a faintly baffled look crossing his face.

"Ah-Eh-Yeah! Main man!" I said with awkward enthusiasm, "Human greetings, you know..."

"Ah, I see." It was almost as if he had been struck by an enlightening piece of information, for one moment his eyes had been watching me rather blankly and then the next they flashed in what I would assume to be revelation. He moved to stand before me and bowed politely, "Hey, hey. Alice, my main man."

I was struggling. I really was struggling.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry... So I settled for both. Certainly, in this moment, tears were permitted. For what could be more worthy of a jubilant weep than a god's complete blank delivery of a very street human phrase. I could knock on the walls of my emotional Fort Knox for that.

My sudden laughter seemed to scare Tsukiyomi. Maybe my behaviour was just a little bit too bizarre for him. "Are you feeling well, Alice? Are you feverish?"

"No," I whimpered, wiping joyous tears from my eyes. "You've just made me extremely happy."

"So your actions are normal. Good." he pronounced. He studied me for a moment as I did my best to straighten up and calm down and then asked, with an appraising eye, "Are all humans like this?"

"Probably not." I answered him, feeling intent on moving him away from the strange god mindset that all humans must act alike. "Some, I'm sure, but mostly we're all very different. We're all our own special little snowflakes. So you can never expect one human's reactions to be the same as another's."

"Oh."

"Yep, it's all very interesting stuff, but not the reason for me being here." I told him with a strong nod of the head, "I am here to help you look for our classmates." _And also to become your ultimate human pal, _I admitted mentally, now feeling somewhat nervous at the actual prospect of this particular quest. Maybe a friendship, so suddenly, or maybe at all, was too much to ask from this god. Maybe he didn't believe in concepts such as friendship. Maybe the minds of some gods' worked on an entirely different emotional plane to humans.

I could only hope he wouldn't send me away. That would be rather sad.

"If you wish," he replied, beginning to walk on.

I stood in the same spot, blinking in surprise. That had been much easier than expected.

I ran after him and slowed when I reached his side. "You're not going to tell me it would be more efficient to search separately or something?"

"Why would I do that?" He asked me and I offered a noncommittal shrug in return. He gave a hum of consideration and turned to walk down a flight of stairs. I hurried after and almost fell over the banister in my rush. I mentally told myself to calm down, though it was easier said than done. I always managed to get myself into a tizzy when I felt pressured or awkward socially.

_But I really want him to be my friend_, my mind whined.

_Alright, alright. I'm trying._

"So..." I began uncomfortably, "Want to be my frien-dammit!"

I just could not control my mouth sometimes. It could be quite a problem at times, especially with teachers. I had learnt just to keep my mouth shut during my years of schooling. But sometimes, in the most embarrassing situations, words would spill out before I could stop them. I have tried to restrain myself before but it's always the same – if I think about something enough it is sure to be said.

"Your friend?"

It was alright. I could recover this situation.

"Yeah..." I breathed uneasily, "Friend... Like that guy you were with before! The one with the blue hair."

"My brother?"

"Your brother!" I exclaimed.

Well, that was a shocker. They looked nothing alike.

"So, is he like the 'you're my brother' brother or is he the 'I popped out of the same woman' type of brother... Ok, let me rephrase that-"

"Humans pop out of women?" If I wasn't mistaken Tsukiyomi almost looked aghast – or at least as aghast as someone as impassive as him could get.

"Well, yeah... I popped out of my mum." I admitted and asked, surprised at how conversational my tone was for this peculiar subject matter, "How were you born?"

"I was washed out of my father's right eye."

"Alrighty then... That's cool... I guess." I quickly changed topic, summoning up new gusto. "Right, so, friends! Buddies! Chums! They are great. What do you say?"

I stuck my hand out for him to shake. He seemed unsure what to do with it though so I took imitative and grabbed his hand myself. I shook it firmly and Tsukiyomi let me carry out the action, perplexed.

"Another human interaction. It's more of a western thing than an Eastern one though, I think." I explained hastily.

He nodded and said, "I am not quite sure what a human friendship involves but I am willing to try. It may teach me something important."

"Exactly!" I agreed warmly. I was pretty proud. Once again, I commemorated the moment with a picture and, once again, when the flash went off Tsukiyomi continued on completely unfazed (though he did seem interested in my camera and took out his notebook, making a few dashes in it as he peered at the technology in my hands).

_My first god friend._ I sighed happily. It was like using the potty for the first time all over again.

Now quite excited by my achievement, I walked with a new spring to my step as we wandered the school corridors. I spoke cheerily, new ideas flocking into my head, "So, I was thinking, since we're friends now, we could do with having a squad."

"A squad?"

"That's right. A squad. However, how are we meant to be a squad with only two members? That is why we must hunt out a third. One who will not clash with the principles we hold strongly in our hearts."

Tsukiyomi was staring at me blankly and I took that as a good sign, because rarely, so far, had I seen him without that vacant look.

I continued, thought-train chugging away. My mind summoned a sombre face shielded by a wave of dark hair: the Greek god, the god of the underworld, dark and brooding, but perhaps quirky too. His type tended to be so. I could not help but think he may be just what I was looking for. "I wish to nominate Hades as our next comrade. I believe he will make a valuable addition to our friendship group! I mean, come on, have you seen him? He seems like a pretty cool guy."

"I am not very well acquainted with Hades but I don't think he is partial to closeness with others."

"Well, that's the point of befriending people," I told him in a teacher-like manner, "To get them to open up to you. We're friends and you opened up to me after all. You know, since you told me that you came out of your Dad's eyeball."

"Oh."

"Oh indeed, Tsukiyomi. Oh indeed."

* * *

_Updated 01.04.16_


	7. Tourism 07

**Tourism 07: Traditions aren't necessarily fun.**

* * *

I later found out why Tsukiyomi didn't send me away. He knew we wouldn't be able to convince any of the absent gods even if we did find someone. When I asked him why he was going along with Apollon's plan, he told me he had intended to use the time for a stroll in which he could explore. Now that was some clever thinking. It's what you'd expect from one of my friends.

I may not seem like it sometimes (or rather most of the time) but deep down I am extremely level-headed. I can be. Honest! At least where it truly matters that is. As a result, level-headedness is a quality I desire in my friends. I can make a few exceptions here and there. For instance if they had the most amazing sense of humour, then they can be a bit of an idiot. I'll let them off on that. But if there are no redeeming qualities to make up for the lack of sense then I'm much less likely to want to or accidently (it has happened before) befriend them. Thus, explaining my desire for a friendship with Tsukiyomi and Hades. They were a couple of cool cucumbers.

The trouble was I had yet to actually have a proper introduction with Hades – I had only seen him off skulking in the distance – so my fantasies of amity with the underworld god may have been destined never see the light of day. But, at that moment, I was friends with Tsukiyomi and that alone left me feeling chipper as a bird. I followed him around babbling nonsense all the while as we set up for the entrance ceremony and, to my absolute delight, he was diligently taking notes on almost everything I said.

The time for our roll call came about and unfortunately we weren't much better off than where we had started. Tsukiyomi had been correct in thinking no one would turn up – almost. Dionysus came. He seemed pretty awesome and chilled (in a pleasant contrast to his far too up-beat brother Apollon), but he was sort of an alcoholic. The funny thing was that he never seemed to get drunk, no matter how many times he drunk from his mini-wine flagon.

All in all, the entrance ceremony had been pretty boring. Not that I would tell Yui that. She had put so much effort into making it a wonderful experience for us all. I also wasn't keen on letting Apollon or Balder (yes, that's right, Balder had actually noticed my presence at this point) find out that I wasn't as riveted by the ceremony as they were, so I made sure to nod appreciatively a few times throughout the ceremony before going back to inattentiveness. Those two had been on the edge of their seats throughout the entire thing, I swear.

There had been the name calling, there had been a speech, but not much excitement. I had never been too keen on formal events. At least I had gotten a friend out of it.

* * *

And so it was time for our angst-ridden school year to begin.

Our first class: human anatomy.

Thoth prowled before his chalk board, already covered in knowledge that was lost on me. It just looked like a whole load of pretty scribbles to me. Maybe speaking Japanese didn't equate to reading Japanese. I would have to talk to Zeus about that, but I didn't really want a confrontation with that git any time soon. There was something seriously off-putting about the god of the heavens.

When starting with the basics, the human body I understood. But if the gods couldn't grasp at least my abysmal knowledge (it being abysmal because I liked to daydream through biology lessons) then I was just about ready to keel over there and then. They _should_ understand. It would only make sense, considering how similar gods and humans seemed physically, unless... I really hoped that bulge under all of their trousers was what I thought it was and not some magical, talking, snapping-

Or maybe I was jumping the gun a bit.

"...The muscles in the human body can be categorized in several different ways." I breathed a sigh of relief as Thoth spoke. _Good, not sex-ed._

Don't get me wrong, I was completely up for a bit of sexual education- wait, wait! That sounded really bad. Let me start over.

I was willing to participate in a class explaining the birds and the bees – I did have a suspicion they may need it seeing as Tsukiyomi had apparently been birthed from his father's right eye – yet I wasn't sure if my brain would be able to take the questions these gods would be sure to ask. How stupid would they be able to get with them? I tried not to think of it.

Key word being 'tried'.

I was stirred from my rather unpleasant musings by the sound of total disruption. The class was in chaos – people going about a monster or something. I truly felt quite lost. I probably should have been paying more attention but I had been distracted by my bizarre erotic internal monologue.

All I could really draw from the situation was that Thoth was not very happy.

He ended up leaving the classroom entirely, Yui following behind rather timidly. Poor thing. She was probably going to end up getting trapped against a wall again.

I turned around from my front row desk with a raised eyebrow, asking the silent question 'who's to blame?' Each god pointed to another.

I tutted and sang gibingly, "Oooh, you guys are in trouble."

* * *

_Updated 01.04.16_


	8. Tourism 08

**Tourism 08: Don't turn natives into models.**

* * *

_Click!_

_Click, click!_

My camera's shutters opened and closed at a rapid rate as Melissa stood upon our table, periodically striking a new pose. Yui sat at the table beside him, watching in amusement as she sipped on her tea and I lay sprawled over my temporary cushioned furniture using one of my most expensive cameras. It was a proper professional one. I told Melissa it was an honour to have his picture taken with it, but he hadn't seem to care very much about how prestigious the device was. He was more interested in becoming some kind of Victoria's Secret model. I didn't mind too much though. This was our relationship dynamic now. Although having mellowed greatly, we still poked fun at each other on occasions. We had settled in routinely banter (as I liked to call it) and I would be a liar if I were to say I didn't enjoy it.

"The pose looks stupid. Stop sticking your bum out."

Melissa huffed and said grumpily, "I thought you said this was just for fun."

"It is," I answered frankly, "but, fun or not, I refuse to take stupid pictures. You look like a twelve year old girl who's only just discovered instagram."

Yui chuckled but my joke was lost on Melissa. "Instagram... What's that? And why would I seem like a twelve year old girl?"

I waved him off. "Bah, don't worry yourself with it."

He shrugged and continued his posing, speaking to Yui distractedly as he moved, "So you're going to this 'seaside school' thing, then?"

"Yes, today I ordered swimsuits and food for everyone at the school store." Yui said.

I shot up suddenly at the mention of her purchases, leaving my camera abandoned on a cushion. Melissa didn't look happy that I had interrupted his photo shoot. "Did you get buckets and spades?"

"Er... No, sorry."

"Darn." I muttered, "Sandcastles are the best part of the beach."

"You know though, I'm sure you could go order them now if you wanted." Yui told me good-naturedly, "The shop is really amazing. I was so surprised! You can buy anything. In fact, the store accepts orders for free."

"Wha-Really! That is awesome!" I gushed.

Talk of free things had always made my ears perk up. At the call of 'free samples' or 'free giveaway' I would come running. It's not like I'm hard done by, not in the slightest. I'd say my family is pretty well-off to be honest, but just the idea of getting something for nothing can be rather thrilling really. I'd always come back home from events with pockets stuffed full of company pens, perfume testers and pretzel packets that I would most likely never look at again.

Free stuff was the best. Period.

I tapped my feet excitedly as I spoke. I was raring to go. "Do you think they'll let me order a bed as well?"

"Probably."

"Oh my gosh!" I leapt to my feet. "Right, I'm off."

"Hey, where do you think you're going? We haven't finished yet." Melissa dived off the edge of the table to latch himself onto my leg, causing me to screech in shock. I tried my best to shake him off but ended up tumbling to the floor in the process.

"Alright, alright!" I exclaimed, rising from the floor clumsily. I hoisted Melissa out of the bin where he had landed and carried him by the scruff of the neck back over to the table. I dumped him there, rather unceremoniously, and threw myself onto the cushioned furniture, my face set in a sulky look. And in a sulky look it would stay! At least until I got my free stuff.

Yui had been watching us worriedly for some time, yet now she seemed to deem it safe to speak again. She laughed uneasily, "Well, I'll be going out for a bit now. I'll see you both later."

Melissa gave her a confused look but I was downright affronted.

"I bought something special at the store today, so... Bye!"

Yui left in a hurry and I stared after her, mouth ajar. I raised a demanding finger to point at the door, "Why the hell does she get to leave so easily?"

* * *

_Updated 01.04.16_


	9. Tourism 09

**Tourism 09: Beware especially of horny foreigners.**

* * *

I fanned myself as I wandered around the school in the muggy night-time heat. I must admit, I regretted being so quick to run out on Melissa after Yui left. Our room had been rather cool but outside it was super hot. Back in the motherland- great old Britannia- muggy nights would only come about for a small portion of the year. I wasn't so used to warmth. I much preferred cooler temperatures because, if you think about it, when it's cold you can put as many layers on as you want, but if it's warm there is only a certain amount of clothes you can take off before it becomes indecent. And that is the reason for winter being best season ever (plus the reasons of Christmas and snow).

But now it was summer, all because of gitty Zeus doing some more gitty magic tricks.

At least I got to go to the beach tomorrow. I was looking forward to impressing everyone with a sandcastle fort. Not to brag or anything, but I'm pretty damn good at sandcastle building.

So I was off to the school shop (wherever the bloody place was) to get some free stuff.

I was enjoying my aimless ambling through the school grounds until the moment I heard some very shocking words.

"I love you."

_WHAT?_

I dived behind a nearby bush, my brain working faster than I would have liked.

That had been Apollon and Yui. I had just heard Apollon confess to Yui. That couldn't be right. They hardly knew each other! These gods really did not know how to socialize. You do not just tell someone you love them after a few days. That is not the done thing. I don't even think it's possible to fall in love within a few days.

I was beginning to wonder if it would be a good idea to storm over there and intervene. It was like that Balder situation all over again but this time a hell of a lot worse. Balder was a Norse god and that's bad enough, but a Greek god? Everyone knows how promiscuous they are.

What was he going to do to Yui? Touch her? Kiss her? Do the dirty?

I knew Yui was a sensible, traditional sort of girl but she was also very passive. At what point would she say no?

Just as I was about to leap from my spot in the shrubbery I heard Apollon speak again, "I love your strength and optimism. I wish I had them. Share some with me."

_Oh thank the stars! Praise the god of anti-libertine. There better be a god of anti-libertine or anti-wanton because I seriously want to thank them._

I let out a breath of relief. I would not have to conduct an emergency reinforcement of lesson one.

I headed off to order my freebees then with a thankful smile upon my face. _No doing the dirty today..._

* * *

_I am going to admit, this chapter was inspired by a review. So, this chapter is dedicated to NightlyRowenTree who made the amusing comment about the greek gods being man-whores._

_Hey so, do you want to know what libertine or wanton means? If you already know, good on you. But, because they are some rather obscure words, I shall now indulge into their meanings._

_The fundamental definitions:_

_Libertine- A man indulging in pleasures (most likely of a sexual nature) without following any sort of moral code. Basically, a really horrible man-whore._

_Wanton- Here we have the lady version of a libertine._


	10. Tourism 10

**Tourism 10: Watch out for the wildlife.**

* * *

We all stood in the school gardens, gathered for our seaside trip. I had bedecked myself with multiple buckets and spades, a bag of savoury snacks, and a camera hanging around my neck. I would probably regret the sheer volume of stuff I had brought with me later.

"Everyone is here! Everyone came!" Apollon cheered, gazing gleefully at his fellow gods. Some looked happier than others to be here.

"Stating the obvious," I whispered into Yui's ear. She hushed me and batted me away. Obviously I wasn't allowed to poke fun at Apollon.

I frowned sulkily and moved to stand beside my new bud, Tsukiyomi. Susanoo glared at me. I shot a sassy look back. _He's my friend now, bitch. Mmhm._ I was rather tempted to click my fingers in a 'Z' shape at him.

But maybe that would be too sassy.

Apollon waved a beckoning hand, his smile glaringly happy. "Then, follow us. We're leaving. Let's go to Seaside school!"

...

I marched along the path to the beach in the wake of Yui and Apollon. I stuck close to Tsukiyomi as we walked, offering interesting facts about humans and letting him write them down...for future reference?_Well, maybe there would be an exam on humans this year_. The notes would be pretty useful then.

Hades walked right at the back of the group and, to my disappointment, he balked every time someone came near him. I would have to think tactically about talking to him.

But I would save that for later, for as of that moment, my worries lay with a growling sea god. He and Loki trudged behind us, seemingly complaining about the struggles of a human body, however I was sure- positively sure- that I could feel Susanoo's constant glare against my back. It was rather unsettling, but I did my best to ignore it.

"Over 7 billion?" Tsukiyomi seemed unable to believe what I told him, his pencil paused above his pad as he looked at me for conformation.

"Uh-huh," I nodded, "And our numbers just keep going up and up and up! It's causing a whole load of problems. Unemployment, quick spread disease, famine...Hey, you gods might end up getting more followers out of it though. Hard times push people to religion after all. Oh, I've got a good one. Did you know that an average human farts 14 times a day? That's something to look forward to, eh Suki?"

"I have noticed a development of flatulent behaviour from my body." Tsukiyomi said contemplatively.

"Farts are healthy," I told him, "You know, as Shrek once said, 'Better out than in'."

"This Shrek is an important figure in your society?"

"Well, he's had a lot of media coverage as of recent. Shrek is love, Shrek is life..." I saw Tsukiyomi writing and quickly said, "Don't put down that last bit."

"...'Don't put down that last bit'."

I sighed sadly and shook my head, "Ok, fine. It doesn't matter. I guess I might get a laugh out of it in the future. Anyway, let's move on from humans and talk about our squad. I have a plan, but it requires better hiding spots..."

...

Tsukiyomi and I had gradually let ourselves drop back in our beach procession, letting even the sluggish Loki and Susanoo overtake us. And then, as the open countryside turned into a forest, I knew the time to enact my plan was drawing near.

Luckily, Yui came along, providing the perfect distraction. I tapped Tsukiyomi's shoulder and jabbed a thumb towards a thicker patch of the trees that lined the road. We ducked behind a thick trunked tree, where I dropped my large amount of baggage ready to be picked up later, as Yui approached Hades.

"Hades, you're getting separa-"

"Stay back." He commanded, holding a hand up, halting Yui dead in her tracks. "Do you want to be miserable?" _Not the best frame of mind to be in..._ That would have to change.

Yui gawked at him. "Huh? Um, I..."

Then Hades did the most brilliant thing I had ever seen. He shuffled backwards, effectively emulating the late Michael Jackson's moon walk, hand still raised. I had to stuff a fist into my mouth to stop my laughter from blowing our cover.

"I accepted Apollon's invitation to this sunny Seaside school," Hades hugged his body, reminding me of an angsty high school boy. It might have been the floppy dark hair that did it. "But I'm staying farther away than usual, so as not to ruin it with my misery."

"R-Right..." Yui mumbled awkwardly. She stood there for a moment, watching Hades, seemingly not knowing what to do with herself. But then she turned and jogged away, back towards the front of the group where Apollon had initiated a Seaside school song.

Once Yui was gone Hades exhaled glumly. His shoulders slumped and he began to walk again. I tugged at tugged at Tsukiyomi's sleeve, waving my other hand wildly. It was time!

We crept out behind Hades, taking care to keep our footsteps as light as possible. As we neared Hades back I held up three fingers to Tsukiyomi. _One... Two... Three!_

We jumped him.

Hades cried out in shock as we latched onto his neck and shoulders. He thrashed about widely, but I clung like a little crazy monkey. "Stop, stop!" I shouted.

"Alice? Tsukiyomi?" He settled down then but his body still remained tense. It appeared he was not one to have his personal bubble invaded either.

"Yep, it us." I told him, my voice muffled slightly from my face being squashed into his back, which hurt quite a lot for your information. I think my nose may have been bleeding. Maybe I had been a bit too violent in my ambush. "Suki, keep a hold of him." I unattached myself from the underworld god, leaving the moon god to remain holding him, and paced around Hades to stand before him.

With my hands upon my hips and chin tilted upward, I channelled my inner Mafioso. "We're here on important business. Business- that if you mention to anyone else- you will be answering to me. And so accordingly...We want you to be part of our squad! Well, I suggested it but Tsukiyomi was all up for it, so, ta-da! Here we are, offering up exclusive membership. And just between you and me, a little personal opinion and such...I would take up the offer. It's a pretty good deal."

Hades was staring at me, mouth agape and eyebrows furrowed in incomprehension. I guess we probably could have gone about this a better way and maybe I could have phrased it somewhat differently, but what was done was done. There was no changing it now.

The only small remedy I could offer to my bamboozling speech was to sum up the proposal in a sentence. "We want to be friends."

The Greek god watched me still, yet now his look was less of incredulousness and more along the lines of dismal. "I will cause you only misery."

"That's not really a yes or no answer." I huffed half-heartedly and made my way towards Hades, but he flinched as I drew near, "Look, Suki is touching you and nothing bad has happened to him."

"Ah, a snake." Tsukiyomi said, in an oddly calm reaction to the creature. However, I had a different reaction- something along the lines of hysterical.

I screamed and jumped back a few steps, away from the snake that was now wrapping its way around Tsukiyomi's legs, fangs bared. "H-Hang on Suki!"

I swept a gnarled stick from the ground and leapt forwards, striking at the snake before it could bite Tsukiyomi. Fortunately the snake went flying. Unfortunately Hades used the opportunity to wrench himself from capture and make a run for it.

I span around far too late, for Hades' form was already growing distant.

"Damn it! He got away..."

* * *

_I'm going to assume all the grammar is corrects but...meh._

_Anyway, thanks for all the support with this. This chapter will be dedicated to OmuiYuni for subconsciously making me bring up Shrek in this chapter. I didn't even realise I was writing it but then 'Shrek is love, Shrek is life' just appeared on the screen, then I thought of your review and I was just like "Ahhhhh...". But I quite like it so it stayed._


	11. Tourism 11

**Tourism 11: Always bring extra layers.**

* * *

A collective gasp rose from our group as we stepped out onto the golden sands. The beach was beautiful. Props to Zeus for making it so well. The best thing I had ever created was a wonky stool in woodwork class, or maybe the jumper for my cat in design. That had been a pretty great jumper. Although the cat didn't seem to like it. Don't put animals in clothes. That's all I can say.

But yeah, the beach...It was pretty damn fantastic. British beaches are not quite the topical, palm tree infested, sunbathing worthy landscapes you see in Virgin Airways' adverts, so you can imagine how nice a change this beach was for me. Don't get me wrong, the beaches I had grown up with were nice, but this was on a whole new level of _boarder la mer_.

The water was so clear and the sand was so warm, and the floating island! Oh man, those floating islands. They looked spectacular from where we stood.

It seemed we were all in agreement. This was one good beach.

"The beach sure is great!" Susanoo exclaimed in delight. I pulled a sour face at him. _Yeah, I covered that in my internal monologue, stupid. _I guess I was still annoyed at him for his constant chaperone-like glares.

Balder smiled lightly at Loki and asked, "Aren't you glad you came?"

With a shrug, he replied, "Yeah, it's not bad." _Ugh, that's such a tsundre thing to say._

Quite unexpectedly, I discovered Hades had finally moved from his back-of-the-pack position and was now slowly, in a trace like state, walking past me. "Sea..." I heard him murmur.

I'm not going to lie. I nearly did jump him again. Luckily Tsukiyomi put a hand on my shoulder. He knew now was not the time. He was right, we needed to revise our plan, use superior tactics. Soon, very soon, Hades would not be able to escape my devious friend trap.

"Well," Apollon stepped forward, like that reliable, somewhat boy scout-like, leader he is, "Let's start enjoying this seaside school."

"Fuck yeah!" I enthused, throwing my heavy bags, and bulky buckets and spades onto the warm sand. "Whoa-What the-"

When I looked up, and bear in mind I had only looked away for a moment, there was a topless man standing in front of me. My face fell into a frown of distaste. I felt discomforted.

And as if that wasn't bad enough, he had begun to unbutton his trousers too- at break neck speed. Poor Yui was freaking out and I can say the very same for myself, although unlike her reaction- stuttering and backing away- I quickly turned to anger. I stormed forward, growling, trembling almost, fully intent on pulling his trousers up if I had too. Propriety must be maintained. "Don't you dare Apollon, don't you even-Oh..."

I stopped mid-march before him. He had swim shorts on underneath. I still wasn't comfortable with it, but it certainly wasn't something I could fault him for. It was proper beach attire.

Apollon was stunned by my sudden flare in anger. I withdrew from his wide-eyed expression, stalking back to the tree line. Others seemed to be surprised by my outburst too. Some gave me curious glances, like Loki, Dionysus or Hades, Susanoo was disapproving, Balder almost looked frightened and Thor... I couldn't tell what he was thinking. But the two that stood out to me were Yui and Tsukiyomi, undoubtedly the two whose opinion mattered to me the most here. Neither was appalled, or disdainful, or even afraid. The only expression I could see on their faces was clear-cut shock. The look made a flush of hot shame cross over me. Even Tsukiyomi's expression, however miniscule, was a powerful blow to me.

I was embarrassed, mortified even, but also I did not want to be around them all now. It was easy enough to forget it wasn't my family, or even my friends from home, coming to the beach with me. These people did not share our seaside customs- _my seaside customs._

Apollon was quick enough to bounce back to his usual cheer, though the smile may have been forced. "Look at these swimming trunks. I read about it in a book."

I watched Yui slowly turn to look at him from the dark shadow of my palm tree. She was calmed, as was I.

"When humans go to the beach or pool, they wear them under their clothes." He told her.

Yui let out a peal of relieved laughter. "What are you, a child?"

Dionysus smiled placidly, shooting me another curious look before saying, "At Apollon's recommendation, we wore our swimsuits under our clothes."

And at that moment, clothes went flying, bodies becoming bare. I cast my eyes away, picking at the bark of the tree I leant against uncomfortably.

I caught sight of Yui's face. It was almost an expression of wonder, cheeks red, eyes wide. I really wanted to go over to her but I wouldn't. I didn't want to be there.

It must have been her awe-struck gasp that did it.

I strode over to her. "Why are you smiling like that Yui?" I demanded, "What's with that dreamy look?"

"Huh-Oh!" Yui jumped, her gaze torn from the gods to meet my blue stare. "Oh, well, it just that everyone's having fun. Even the people that didn't want to come."

"I suppose they look happy." I admitted grudging; only sparing a small glance at the deities before us.

Yui's eyes seemed to sadden. "But you don't..."

"No, I don't..." I agreed with a thoughtful frown. When Yui's sad look didn't fade I smiled slightly and patted her arm awkwardly, "But I will once I start making a sandcastle."

I had managed to get a small giggle from her. She was happy again. _Good._

"Fairy, Alice, go change."

Yui acceded straight away but I snorted indignantly, "No, thank you." The nerve of him. Telling me to change. I hadn't brought a swim suit anyway. I never do.

But what was worse was Susanoo and Dionysius' outfits, if they could be called an outfit. They were barely covered. It was practically nudity! They should have taken example from Tsukiyomi or Hades. Their swimming costumes were reasonable, unpretentious. See, I know how to pick good friends. Well, technically a friend and a friend-to-be.

I had half a mind to have a go at the two gods about it. But the anger died before I had a chance to voice it.

A sudden wind picked up. Before my very eyes flowers shrivelled in mere moments, vivid green leaves dulled and turned to browns and reds and the air became icy. Goose bumps erupted along my skin. I wrapped my arms around myself in an effort to keep warm. This was Autumn. It was plain to see. Zeus was being a git again.

At least I got to relish in Susanoo and Dionysus' shivering. _Serves them right._

Everyone was incredibly put out. Understandably so, but unfortunately, I didn't have much sympathy to spare. Except for poor Hades; he was blaming himself, as per.

The only one continually happy person was Apollon. It was clear he wasn't going to let the weather beat him. "I'm going to swim." He told us single-mindedly. "After all, this is a seaside school."

Idiot, I thought, but then, to my utmost surprise, Tsukiyomi stepped forwards too. _I thought you were intelligent, Suki!_

"I will swim too."

"No, Suki! Stop!" I cried, darting in front of him with my arms outstretched like a barrier. I would become a human wall to protect him from this lapse in mind power.

He gazed at me with his usual deadpan expression, then raised a hand and said, "I decided I was going to swim at this seaside school."

In that one short simple statement I felt my will crumble. I sank to the ground dejectedly. "My wall is broken..." _The force was strong with this one... _I needed more mental training. I decided then I would take up meditation.

"Alice!" Yui exclaimed, seemingly rather shocked that was all it took to get me to give in.

"I know Yui, I know..." I lamented, while behind me, Apollon was cheering. He ran forwards and took Tsukiyomi into an elated bear hug. He was way too affectionate- with _everyone_.

Susanoo stepped forwards in his tiny little loin cloth- _ew_\- with a concerned expression. "Brother- don't-"

"You should follow through with your decisions." He told us, still firmly in Apollon's embrace.

As the two began to wade out into the water I arose from the sand, holding my clenched fist upwards. "His logic is flawed but his spirit is true. Go Suki, go!"

Nobody else seemed as encouraging as I...

* * *

_My, oh my... It's been far too long. Longer than I intended it to be at least. Here's the next chapter and for the first time we see a break in Alice's demeanor. She really doesn't like nudity. Why? You'll have to wait and see. _

_And I just wanted to say, thank you all for the support. Its always nice to see people enjoying my writing. I don't normally write in this sort of style or even in first person. I think its going rather well._


	12. Tourism 12

**Tourism 12: Even the natives can be endearing.**

* * *

Needless to say things were looking down after all that drama on the beach. The idea of the seaside school had just been the birth of a very ugly annoying child that grew up to be a very ugly annoying adult. It was almost as if Yui and Apollon were that child's parents, loving it unconditionally and never giving up on it, for after a burst of some particularly awkward whingeing in the seaside lodge from Loki, the two took off on Pegasus back. To do what, I had no idea. But I hoped it would be bloody spectacular.

Slowly and quietly seething, in the corner of the lodge, curled up sulkily into an armchair, I waited with Tsukiyomi and Balder for Yui and Apollon to return, reflecting on what had happened before most of the gods left with a scowl.

I had been forced to use my drying technique on Tsukiyomi and Apollon, which involved getting the two of them to roll across a large towel I laid out on the floor for them. Of course, I thoroughly enjoyed watching them roll. I probably did nearly burst a gut from laughter, but, the consequence of that was that I got lumped with all the other carer tasks too. Fetching warm drinks, lighting the fire, rubbing their hair dry. It took such a long time. I felt dead by the end of it. Then Loki was complaining, I was already annoyed, I already had a headache- I just kind of- Well... I snapped. Mentally and physically.

After having heard him say, "I came here because Balder insisted it would be fun but it's boring."

I became so incensed I ended up spilling hot chocolate over his crotch, accidentally or on purpose we will never know, but we will know that Loki got super angry after that. Like, Super Saiyan angry.

Everyone ended up running out of the building one way or another, and somehow I got lumped with another task. Apollon got nominated Student Council President which now made him some kind of supreme leader. And King Apollon's first decree was for Balder, Tsukiyomi and I to stay here, I, unfortunately, doing much more of the staying. My job was to sit inside the lodge while the other two rounded up stray gods. Don't get me wrong, I was inside, I was warm, but tonight I felt edgy. After my earlier outburst, I just wanted to be moving around.

So gradually, as the sun set over the distant horizon I watched god after god trickle back into the lodge, each receiving a more lacklustre greeting than the last. That was, until, Hades walked in. I sprang up and ushered him to my vacated seat in the corner (which was located right next to the roaring fire), taking great care not to stray too close for fear of scaring him off. The other god's watched, bringing great mirth to me, in indignation as I acted out the proper little hostess. "Drink, Hades? Blanket? Maybe I could interest you in a witty joke about our present company?"

"Ah-No. No, thank you..." He answered uncomfortably, shifting in his seat. Maybe I was giving him too much attention... Was it over the top? Nah.

"Not even herbal infusion tea? It's all I've been drinking this evening. I brought a whole pack of it." I took my cup from a nearby table, practically wafting it under Hades nose. And to top it all off, I dug into my snack pack and whipped out a chocolate assortment box.

"Well, maybe I could have some." Hades had been swayed. _YES!_

Loki's voice rang out from the opposite side of the room. "Maybe I could have some too." He almost sounded hopeful. _How pitiful. Bwhahaha._

I shot him a disinterested look over my shoulder as I dished out chocolate to Hades. "I gave you hot chocolate earlier. Surely that's enough. Don't be greedy, Loki."

I believe he may have stormed across the room and attacked me if Balder wasn't there to calm him. Oh, the look he was giving me that moment. I quickly took a picture before deliberately popping a chocolate into my mouth. You know, just to rile him up a bit more.

He let out a hiss of air, sharply turning his head away from me as he said, "What now?"

Tsukiyomi answered dutifully, "Since Apollon is the student council president you must obey his instructions."

"Wait until they return." Balder added tenderly. I swear it was like he was walking on egg shells trying to keep Loki here.

"You've been saying nothing but that." Loki griped, "And Apollon isn't back yet."

"Neither is the weed." Susanoo said.

"Why is Apollon going to all this effort for the seaside school, anyway?"_ Because it's basically his child, idiot. _

Thor glanced at him questioningly. "What are you trying to say?"

"Isn't he Zeus' son? Maybe he's only pretending to be our friend while working to ensure Zeus' plan goes well, or something?" Loki finished with a nasty chuckle.

I had heard and said some spiteful things today but that just topped it all off. He really didn't know when to call it quits, did he?

Hades stood up then. The movement was so sudden and jarring, I nearly dropped the pot of tea I had been pouring him a drink from. "That cannot be."

_Oh my..._

"Why not?" Susanoo demanded in a growl.

"Because he... Apollon...has a love more pure than could be imagined by you... No, than all of us. That is how he is."

_Now that... That was just fucking beautiful. Family sticking up for each other. Get's to me every time._

Loki looked away with a frown that clearly read, my sass has been trumped by a heartfelt speech and if I were to make a comment now I would look like the ultimate dick.

After a small silence, my number one god BFF spoke. "I agree." _You go, Tsukiyomi!_

"So do I." _Ohhh, even Balder. So much sass._

I decided to join in. "Yep, me too." As weird as his determination was, and even if he showed it in an ungainly way, Apollon had to be acknowledged for it.

Loki appeared to have had enough. He pushed himself up from his seat, fist clenched rigidly by his sides. "Forget it! I'm leaving!"

Now, in mention of finer details, I do not know what happened once Loki left the building. On his part at least. On my part, we were left awkwardly staring at each other in the lodge, not quite sure what to do now that he had left, but a few moments later, there was a huge whistling sound then the familiar bang that followed. I leapt up, bounding across the room in merely three strides. I knew what Yui and Apollon had got. I had asked for spectacular and the bloody well got it.

I slammed open the sliding door, with some ineptness (I still wasn't used to the bleeding things), and launched myself against the patio barrier, nearly toppling over the edge from too much momentum. "Fireworks..." I breathed out, watching the remains of golden sparks fade from the sky.

The other gods followed me out, more timidly mind you, but they came and they saw. They were amazed. I could see that amazement in their eyes as we stood outside in the crisp Autumn air and watched the pyrotechnics. In a way, I ended up enjoying watching their faces more than the fireworks (which is pretty amazing considering how much I love fireworks). It was almost as if I saw my younger self reflected in them, a small child who had never seen something so magical before.

In that moment, the tensions of earlier seemed to burn away just like the glowing flowers in the sky. And at a push, I would hasten a guess to say, seaside school was not so much of an ugly annoying child after all.

* * *

_I have been writing this into the early hours of the morning and have not been able to stop. I may be sleep deprived, but it was well worth it._


	13. Tourism 13

**Tourism 13: Speaking a language isn't the equivalent of reading it.**

* * *

"You don't know how to do it, do you?"

"Shut up!"

I sat on the floor of mine and Yui's room with a large box to my left, filled with planks of wood and screws, directly in front of me a set of instructions were splayed across the ground, and to my right Melissa watched me struggle, thoroughly entertained.

"I do know how to do it. I mean, I would normally, but this is Japanese IKEA, not English IKEA." I told him, glaring at the instructions with a furrowed brow.

"I thought you told me IKEA was Swedish."

"It is!" I cried, throwing my hands up in the air, "The lovely eclectic mix between Swedish and English and pictures is just about understandable. But Japanese kanji and Swedish? How the hell am I meant to read that? If the school shop does IKEA products, they should at least go to the trouble of making it comprehensible for all their consumers."

"I would read it for you," Melissa told me as he waddled over to my instructions for a closer look, "But I'm in a similar boat to you. I can speak Japanese but I can't read it. I can read Greek though."

I stared at the clay monster with pursed lips and said dryly, "Thanks for the offer, as unhelpful as it may be."

"Don't mention it."

"Believe me, I'm trying not to. Anyway," I began smugly, "Suki said he's coming to help me."

"Oh, is that so," Melissa hummed distractedly, now pulling himself into the box of bed parts.

"Yep," I must have seemed like a little kid boasting to their parent about their first friend in preschool, but at the time, I never really paid attention to how silly I must have sounded. "He's my friend."

"I know," Melissa poked his head out of the box, an eyebrow raised in amusement. "You've told me. Many, many times. Do you know where Yui is?" _Okay, I know it must be annoying that I keep going on about it, but at least humour me. I want some recognition for my friend making skills._

"Off with Apollon," I said unconcernedly. A while ago I would have been worried but now my mind was at ease, wherever Apollon was involved. He had proved himself a good man-a good god? He was daft but reliable. "She said something about a student council meeting."

"Ah, caring those two are. You should take a leaf out of their book."

"I am caring," I argued defiantly, "Like how I care about setting up this stupid bed."

"Sometimes I think you like to be contrary just for the sake of it." Melissa sighed jadedly, yet a small smile had crept onto his face.

"That's what my Dad used to call me when I was younger," My eyes softened in nostalgia. It was a good memory. Although most things seemed good when I was young. "Little Miss contrary."

"I would be careful with what you tell me. I might just start calling you little Miss contrary now."

I beamed at the clay monster, strangely happy with the idea. "I wouldn't mind. It would be like a little piece of home."

Melissa gaped at me. Maybe he felt like he was seeing a new side of me today. "You know, maybe you don't need to take a leaf out of Yui's book. Stay how you are Alice."

"I was planning to." I agreed jauntily, reaching forward to pat Melissa which wound up turning into more of a slap to the face after an unexpected knock at the door.

I sprang up. "Suki!"

* * *

_I really do love Melissa. He's the best._


	14. Tourism 14

**Tourism 14: Foreigners don't recognise euphemisms.**

* * *

Yui stood before us, Apollon at her side, at the front of the classroom. The rest of us students either listened attentively or dicked about at our desks. "These are the primary types of clubs." She gestured at a row of crudely drawn Melissas on the black board. I sniggered to myself and snapped a picture to rub in the clay monsters face later.

"So, through club activities humans interact and learn to establish strong ties with each other?" Apollon enquired inquisitively.

"Yes. I thought club activities would help in learning to understand the human heart."

"Great idea, Fairy." He praised enthusiastically. "You have the student council president's support."

"Thank you." Yui smiled at Apollon before turning to face us. "Everyone, are there any club activities you'd like to try?"

Apparently Balder was interested in tennis. Soft ball. And Apollon? Tennis. Hard ball.

I'm not going to even get into the euphemisms that were running around my head at that point.

Dionysus wanted to take part in gardening club. _Good, good. Healthy choices. _I just hoped there was no connotation between him being the god of fertility and him wanting to fertilize the plants. Oh, dear god no!

Loki and Thor joined the 'going home' brigade. _Good for them, the twats._They practically shat all over Yui's lovely plan. That was not cool. She was my human hommie here. Nobody would mess with Yui and get away with it. Forget the massive bonding session everyone had on the night of the seaside school; Loki was going back on my hit list.

"Alice?"

"Err, is there a photography club?" I asked, subconsciously caressing the camera I held in my hand. Nothing weird about that. _Nope! _Nothing at all.

"No but there is an art club," Yui offered hopefully.

"Accepted." I saluted her, before going back to my previous occupation of taking pictures of everyone in the room while half-heartedly listening to their talk.

Now it was Hades turn. I zoomed in on him a Yui asked him which club he would like to participate in, peering down my camera's view finder in curiosity.

"I am interested in the astronomy club."

_Whoa!_ I had to put down the camera there and take a breather. His expression was far too intense to look at close up. Never look at the god of the underworld in HD. That I would assume to be even worse than zoom.

"The astronomy club!" Yui enthused, "That's great! Then you'll be in the astronomy club-"

"No," he interrupted, tone cold and indifferent. Yet he was looking away... I wondered why. "I won't be joining a club."

"Eh?" I believe it was becoming a common thing for me to be feeling sorry for Yui, but just to reiterate, _Poor Yui_.

"You asked if I was interested in any clubs, so I simply answered with the astronomy club."

"But..." Yui began to murmur, looking positively crestfallen. _Friend-to-be! _I yelled at Hades mentally (if I was lucky some kind of telepathic link would stun him into kindness), _you're making current human friend sad!_

Hades stood then with a certain finality to the action (I guess my telepathy would have to be worked on- my inner Vulcan needed training). "I do not intend to participate in group activities. If that is what clubs are, then I shall pass."

And thus, after Hades left, we were all left in the wake of an awkward silence. Well, the silence was only made awkward by the sound of my camera shutters taking pictures of his departing figure.

...

That night well after I had wriggled into the sheets my pristine IKEA bed, a quiet creak of an opening door sounded throughout the room. I stirred from my slumber- images of two great burning eyes running through my mind as I awoke. I shot up, gasping and clutching at my chest. That nightmare had nearly given me a heart attack, I swear...but I was quick to forget the eyes. There was something much more alarming in reality that needed my attention.

Yui was shuffling into the room, head down and shoulder slumped. She was trembling and- _Is that water!_

"Yui, you're soaked!" I exclaimed, startling her out of whatever daze she may have been in. She jerked and smacked her hand against the wall, bringing about a small cry of pain.

Not sparing a second, I threw my covers into a messy heap on the floor, pushing off my bed to rush over to Yui. I held her, as delicately as I could, by the shoulders. "What's wrong?"

By this time Melissa had woken up to and called out groggily, "What are you two doing up and about? It's the middle of the night."

"I-I fell in a river." Yui told us weakly.

And so, over the course of the next ten minutes, Yui recounted the tale of how she had been insistent to accompany Hades to go star gazing, but then also how things had started to turn sour when it began to rain.

"He dived into the river to rescue you?" I asked in wonder. Yui nodded meekly and I turned on Melissa, a triumphant smile on my face. "See, I told you he was friend material! He bleeding leapt into a churning icy river to save Yui's life. If that isn't noble then I don't know what is."

"Noble doesn't equate to friendship material." Melissa argued stubbornly.

"Who's being little Miss contrary now?" I smirked but realised we were being slightly insensitive towards Yui's feelings. 'Slightly' being an understatement. "So, it isn't all bad Yui. He saved your life."

"Well," Melissa shrugged uncomfortably, "In a way, it was also a disaster."

I whacked him around the back of the head, hissing, "Not. Helping."

The clay monster glared at me but quickly recovered, rubbing Yui's arm comfortingly, "Well, don't let it get you down. As Alice said, it's not all bad..."

That night, I began to scheme. Tactics. I needed tactics. This went further than just befriending Hades now. This would be us trying to find a way to tackle his heart.

* * *

_Mooooorrrrreeeeeeee..._


	15. Tourism 15

**Tourism 15: Becoming James Bond doesn't get you lovers.**

* * *

Over the course of the next few days, I went into spy mode- an indiscriminate camera hanging around my neck and my trusty assistant Watson at my- just kidding! I had dragged Tsukiyomi along for my plan.

It was the ultimate stakeout- to follow, and hopefully, not be seen by our target, Hades.

"Subject locked in sight," Crouched in a patch of shrubbery, Tsukiyomi and I watched Hades sitting on the steps in the school garden. I was determined to gather information before approaching him. Thus, a stakeout. "Suki, status report."

"Subject is stationary," Tsukiyomi replied, shifting in his spot to get at better view of Hades, "Just as he has been for the last ten minutes. Currently there is no new activity to report- Wait, there is activity."

I gasped and whispered excitedly, "What? What?"

"Kusanagi Yui seems to be approaching the target."

"She is?" I shuffled closer to Tsukiyomi and peered from the gap he had been using between two sweet scented flowers. It made we want to sneeze. "Oh, she is!"

Yui had walked up to Hades and was now engaging in conversation. This was new ground for the befriending Hades plan, one that Yui had unknowing walked straight into. It was like walking into a mine field. "Code red, code red." I murmured to Tsukiyomi and he nodded in agreement.

"Should we take emergency action?" He asked me.

I thought about it for a moment and then shook my head. As much of a detriment this could be to our plan, I would let Yui talk to Hades. She was incredibly sweet and kind-hearted. Maybe she could soften him up before the next stage of our scheme. She had managed to befriend me after all. That was a feat in itself. I could be very picky about friends.

The conversation continued on between Hades and Yui and things were going fairly well, but then she said something astronomically heart-felt, "But I want to go," She told Hades, "I realized how beautiful the stars are, and it made me want to learn more. Besides, rather than viewing them alone, I think it's more wonderful to share that feeling with another."

Hades appeared to mull over her words for a second before replying, "Do as you wish."

_YESSSSSS! SHE DID IT!_

I felt like jumping up and dancing (which I didn't do for the sake of my stakeout) but oh my, Yui was a master of words. She had managed to break down some of Hades' hateful wall.

Unfortunately, in a way that completely ruined the current atmosphere, a ball came flying out of nowhere and hit Yui in the face. _Bloody Balder..._ I groaned sadly.

And then, even better, Apollon somehow managed to also fire a ball at Yui's face, and to top it all off, Dionysus drenched her with the hose. _Great. Absolutely great._

_THEY WERE HAVING A MOMENT!_

"We can reconvene this stakeout at a later date. For now, you can go Suki." I sighed wearily as Tsukiyomi nodded in acknowledgment and left.

It was times like these that made me wonder how I had become friends with Tsukiyomi so easily.

I stayed hidden in the bushes for quite some time, waiting for everyone to depart until just one was left. Hades had remained sitting quietly on the steps, looking out to the sky with a pensive frown. I drew near him carefully, wary of scaring him away, and sank down onto a step a few feet away from him.

"Hades," I began, in a tone so serious, someone who did not know me well may not have believed this girl to have been me, "I have something I want to tell you."

I could feel his eyes flit over to look at me, but my gaze remained focused on the sky- as his had been just moments before.

"Alright." He agreed calmly, his eyes returning to the heavens.

I sucked in a deep breath before speaking. _I haven't really voiced this aloud before but desperate times call for desperate measures. _"Once upon a time, there was a shy little girl. She was so timid she struggled to even talk to a girl she had been sitting next to in maths for almost two years. She was a silly little thing. The girl had the most crazy, amazing, bizarre thoughts, but she never voiced them. Why? Because she thought to herself: what if I cause them boredom?"

Hades was watching me intently now. I could feel his dark eyes trained on my face, ears keened to my words. _Well, I've certainly caught his attention._

"But the little girl began to grow up, and in that time, she realised she was utterly stupid for thinking such a thing. Boredom? Of course she wouldn't cause boredom. Not if she made herself become interesting. So that is what she did, she broke free one day and made herself interesting. Now she sits beside you. So tell me Hades, if one little girl can make herself interesting, what's there to stop a god, who claims to cause bad luck, making himself lucky?"

"Making himself lucky...?" Hades echoed my words, staring at me with his eyes wider than I had ever seen.

"Do you understand what I am saying?" I was looking at him now; my expression hardened into a significant look that I hoped would resonate with him.

The underworld god opened his mouth to answer, but seemingly thought against it, turning away and muttering, "I do not."

I breathed out slowly, pursed my lips, and then stood. "Then I have nothing more to say to you." I left him in a brisk walk, not sure if my eagerness to leave was through mortification or frustration. Both? Probably.

I truly hoped Yui would be able to come up with some new method of approach, because for me, I was now officially unable to do anything more than sit back and watch the situation unfold.

* * *

_So. Much. Angst. But then there's comedy too. Somehow I'm managing to confuse myself._


	16. Tourism 16

**Tourism 16: Don't feed the locals; they'll show you their nipples.**

* * *

"He ripped off his shirt?!"

It was early evening- the type of time when I put my pyjamas on and gorge on _Crunchie bars _and orange juice. This evening however, I had something other than popular brand name chocolate coated honeycomb to eat. Yui had made Hades strawberry rice cakes. Now I hadn't tried rice cakes before, but let me just tell you now, they were bleeding delicious. Who would have thought you could put a strawberry inside a traditional Japanese dish. Melissa and I were gorging on them, as we listened, slack-jawed to Yui's account of her tea with Hades.

"I didn't think Hades was the type to be showing his body like that..." I mumbled through a mouthful of rice cake, accidentally spewing some onto Melissa in the process. He wiped off the remains in disgust and aimed a glare at me.

"I think he just wanted to make a point." Yui said, her face slipping into a nervous frown.

Ever since that day at the beach, Yui had been rather loathe to bring up anything to do with nudity. Granted that sort of thing doesn't come up in conversation all that much, but she was being very careful with her words. I never noticed her changing anymore either (which in a way was a good thing). It meant no more awkward scurrying away to the bathroom. But I didn't like seeing Yui so tense. I wanted her to be relaxed around me. I wanted our friendship to work.

"Well, he certainly did make a point." I grumbled almost sulkily and then sighed. I don't think I could be too angry at Hades. He was just emotionally unstable, and if flashing his nipples helped him to sort out his feelings then okay. Just so long as it was not around me.

"So he took off his shirt and went on about misfortune some more? Lots of talking about a curse?"

"Fundamentally, yes..." Yui said, letting her head drop against her arms dejectedly.

Melissa spoke now, a mouth full of rice cake, making a point to let some fly out of his mouth and onto my arm. _Eww. _"So everything always ends in misfortune for him... I say this is for your own good. Kutanagi, you should listen to Hades and stay away from him."

Yui was confused now. She raised her head, with a questioning look aimed at Melissa. I pulled the same face. _What was he getting at?_

"If he experiences happiness, his misfortune will only cause him more pain." Melissa explained calmly, snatching up another cake. "The more you associate with him, the worse things will be. You should stay away for his sake, as well..." The clay monster paused for a moment, and then, after an apparent moment of thought while stuffing strawberries into his gob, he aimed a meaningful look at me. "The both of you."

"What the hell?" I exclaimed angrily, inadvertently smoothing a rice cake under the fists I brought down onto the table in my indignation. "No way! I am on the ultimate mission for friendship and I will not stop until it is complete or I die."

"You might very well die on this so called 'mission for friendship'. Who knows what Hades misfortune can do!" Melisa argued.

"Half of this misfortune is in his head anyway. Some of it may very well be some kind of magic curse bullshit, but he's just making the whole thing worse for himself. He can create fortune if he desires it." I told my roommates earnestly. I wanted them to understand.

Luckily for me, it seemed Yui did. "That is part of it."

"Exactly!" I gushed, "We can't just leave him alone. He's sad and lonely, and I need to complete my squad."

Melissa began to wipe off the gooey rice cake off my hands. I had almost forgotten that it was there. I believe he may have been trying to calm me down. "You already have me, Yui and your darling 'Suki'. Isn't that enough?"

"Darling Suki, " I said sardonically and somewhat haughtily, "is part of the squad, yes. You two, however, are not. No offence Yui." I aimed an apologetic grin at her, which received an placid smile in return. "Besides Suki already said he would like Hades to be his friend."

"Really?" Melissa appeared rather shocked.

I gave him a withering look. "Yes, really. He has lots of thing to say when you ask him questions. And he had plenty of questions to ask in return. You just have to wheedle them out of him to a certain extent."

Melissa raised an eyebrow but made no further comment about Tsukiyomi. _Good. _Because if he had I would've hit him in the rear with a bowling ball. Where would I find a bowling ball, you ask? If the school shop has _IKEA_ furniture, do you really think it won't have a bowling ball? Hmmm? Exactly.

"Yui, we need to come up with some kind of plan."

"Yes, we do." She agreed solemnly.

"Okay, thinking caps on." I grabbed the nearest item and settled it on my head. "Go, thinking cap, go!"

"Alice," Melissa drawled mordantly, "Please take me off of your head."

* * *

_I'm going to reiterate here just how much I love chapters with Melissa in..._

_Have a very merry christmas everyone if I don't update again before the 25th (and if you don't celebrate christmas then just enjoys all the TV specials you get out of it)._


	17. Tourism 17

**Tourism 17: It's paedophilia no matter how young they look.**

* * *

As I have previously told you, I like to spend my evenings indoors, in my PJs, eating chocolate and sipping smooth glass of _Tropicana_\- not pressed flush against four gods. I was literally squatting in a bush (my second time hiding in a mass of flora while in this holy garden) squished by a god either side of me. I was lucky to have Tsukiyomi to my right, but not so lucky in the fact of Balder being to my left. Sir-fall-over-a-lot was living up to his namesake, being his usual clumsy self. The Norse god kept losing balance and latching onto my hair in order to stay upright. I think he may have given me a bald patch.

Past Balder crouched Dionysus and Apollon who were genially chatting, leaving the rest of us three to be hunched over awkwardly, arm to arm. I felt pretty damn uncomfortable.

I leant forwards and poked Apollon, probably a lot more violently than necessary. "How long do we have to stay in this bush?"

"Until the signal." Apollon answered me, clearly mustering his large grin to mask the pain of my jab to his side.

I was starting to get angry now. "What fucking signal?" I asked in a hiss. _Bless you Apollon, really. You are good. It's just you don't have a way of making things clear. _Well, very few of the gods did really.

So it was good for me that my GBF (it means god best friend you silly sausages) was more frank than my Nan after a litre bottle of dry sherry. "This," There came his instant reply and was thus followed up by a series of hand movements that I'm sure involved pinching his nose and wiggling his fingers in a figure of eight motion somehow.

"And how is Yui going to fit that into a casual conversation?" I said incredulously. I felt like face planting into the flower bed right about then.

I stared at the gods questioningly for a moment, it soon becoming clear to me that no one had an answer. After they had all exchanged looks, waiting for someone to raise an intelligent response, I sighed sadly. "She can't fit it into a normal conversation, that's why. Or at least not without a whole lot of weird conversation directing on her part- which will not be happening." I directed a pointed look at Balder and Apollon who almost looked ready to interject.

"Why are we even in a bush? What is the point to this?"

Tsukiyomi raised a hand and spoke. "Is this different from the time we watched Hades from the bush in the fountain area?" _Curse your inquisitive nature Suki!_

"Not now," I hushed him quickly and turned my attention on Apollon who had begun to explain with his own particular brand of odd reasoning.

"You see Alice," The sun god almost looked proud of what he was about to tell me, "I thought this would be a definite bonding experience for the all of us. Sitting in enclosed spaces with your peers is all part of the human youth."

"Humans don't tend to go looking for claustrophobic situations to throw themselves into." I told him plainly, my expression constantly morphing between wry and contemptuous. "And this is very uncomfortable. I have rubbed parts of you four today that I would have never wished to come into contact with. Accidental inner thigh caresses are not part of youth, Apollon. They are usually part of paedophilia. Actually, hang on...How old are you guys?"

"Well...I guess I've been around since 140BC or so..." Apollon shrugged sheepishly, "Not that old."

"Not that old?!" I was like a baby to them. "Did you have your 40th birthday party with Julius Caesar or something?"

Dionysus beamed and added, "Big brother's older by 20 years. Though I still feel like the older sibling sometimes. He can be such a kid." _How can twenty years even count for that much when you've lived since ancient Greece?_

I slapped my hands against my face and let out a moan. "Oh my god..."

"Yes?" The four men's heads turned towards me in response. _They thought I was calling them? Give me strength..._

"Okay, so, good! We're experiencing the fun of youth here, Yui's going to signal us and probably convince Hades she's about to go into some sort of fit, and I've just accidently been touched up and progressively done the touching of old men. Great."

Apollon rolled his eyes good naturedly. It was the kind of look you might see in old family sitcoms where everyone would be like, _Hahaha, oh Alice, you joker. _"Well when you put it like that..."

'_When I put it like that' what?!_ It annoyed me that Apollon was taking this as one big trip down joke lane. I know I often take the witty comedic route too, but other people weren't allowed to. Especially not when I'm trying to complete my squad. This guy was potentially messing up my plans.

"That's Yui, that's Yui!" Balder cried and began pushing against me. "Quick!"

"Piss off Balder! I can stand up by myself." I said in a whisper-shout. We couldn't be too loud after all. Hades still hadn't realised we were here, even though we had been chatting in a nearby bush for the past fifteen minutes, watching Hades sitting on a bench.

There was a sudden rush between us to scramble out of the bush and to stand behind Yui who had just walked over. We only just made it there without falling over and somehow managed to look surprisingly suave when Hades turned around to face us. We were like the poster children for astronomy weekly or something along those lines.

Yui gave us all weird looks before turning her attention to Hades and asked warmly, "Are you going stargazing?"

Apollon smiled at his uncle and stepped forwards to stand beside Yui. "You don't mind if we tag along, do you, Uncle Hades?" _What the fuck?_

Now the next member of the family stepped forwards; it was Mr Love-and-fertility himself. "Even if you say no, we'll still follow you." _What the actual fuck?_

Hades appeared taken aback by their words. He had not been expecting this, clearly. Neither had I. I probably should have been able to predict it by now though.

"What the fuck was that?" I exclaimed loudly, hardly willing to believe the stupidity of the events that had just passed. "Apollon, why on earth did we not just walk over here with Yui? Why did you pull us all into a bush a quarter of an hour ago? Your ruddy plan had no point to it. Much alike how Gandalf could have summoned the big eagle thingies to take them to Mordor in the first place. You Gandalf-ed me Apollon!"

Apollon raised his hands at me, almost like a cop trying to pacify a crazy robber with a gun. "I don't know what a Gandalf is, but if I did, I would apologize."

"Apologize anyway, you arse!"

...

"Now that I get a better look, there really are a lot of stars." Balder commented, trying to sound all sage and philosophical. _Star quantity is something that does not need to be remarked upon, you pretentious twat!_

"I wonder how many stars there are..." _Oh, Dionysus wants to learn about the great balls of gas in the sky. Great... Then why not try to learn about the human heart instead and then you can look at real stars rather than the ones fashioned by your gitty dad?!_

Honestly, the sky really was beautiful- more beautiful than I had ever seen it back home. Maybe this was how the sky was meant to look, back before light pollution and such. But right then, I found it hard to ponder humanities dick-like nature to planet earth. I was far too angry. The kind of angry that makes you just want to call people names, even if they haven't done anything wrong. Now that I think about it, that's the only type of angry I have really.

So I sat, removed from the group, under the stone pavilion. I was sulking. It probably wasn't the best idea. How could I possibly win Hades over if I didn't whip out my charming wit?

"They say there are hundreds of billions of hundreds of billions of stars." Hades told Dionysus. It was rather sweet. He had a great deal of affection for his nephews. I could see that.

"Oh?" Apollon said in wonder, "How many is that?"

"About ten to the twenty-second power." _Ugggh, maths! My nemesis returns..._

"Ten to the twenty-second power?" Apollon repeated and cheered, "That's amazing!"

"Do you seriously understand that?" Dionysus asked and everyone laughed. I will admit, it did get a slight chuckle out of me, but only slight mind you. I was sulking. I couldn't laugh too much.

"Oh, your telescope?" Yui noted in interest as Hades began to unpack the device from his case. She offered a hand out and said, "Let me help you."

I nearly _awwwed_. Yui was just the loveliest person ever. The world needs more Yui's.

Yui jumped back in the most peculiar fashion, a shocked look appearing on her face. _Aliens? Unicorns? _I looked around excitedly, but sighed upon seeing it was just rain. What was with that dramatic reaction? She got me all worked up.

"It's raining." Tsukiyomi remarked. _The stupid was rubbing off on him. Oh dear._

"Nice observation, Suki." I said and after I immediately slapped a hand against my head in self-reprimand. I had meant it to sound mocking or at least somewhat wry, but somehow I always found myself incapable of being anything but kind to Tsukiyomi. I had sounded like I was practically praising him there.

Tsukiyomi nodded at me, the kind of nod that said _Thank you for the compliment_.

It was both adorable and exasperating- an odd combination of evoked feelings but somehow it worked.

Hades turned to leave then but Yui reached forwards, her dainty little Japanese hands wrapping around Hades arm. _Yui has endearing hands?_ _How peculiar..._ If Yui's hand had been like that hand from the Addams family I would want one as a pet. I bet it would make me cups of tea with extra sugar.

Anyhow, moving away from pet hands... It seems there was some big plan I had missed out on. Maybe I hadn't been completely Gandalf-ed, although I still didn't understand why we were in a bush earlier. These guys seemed to have been expecting the rain (it was lucky I was undercover because I really didn't have that future knowledge) as now they were all throwing off their clothes- _dear god_\- and had swimsuits on underneath- _put some bloody clothes on_\- ranging from skimpy to reserved. _Good on you Tsukiyomi._

So now Apollon, Tsukiyomi, Dionysus and Balder were running around in the rain, something I would be happy to take part in (if it wasn't for their partial nudity). Hades watched on with wide eyes, standing under the pavilion next to Yui. I watched them converse, with an affectionate grin on my face. That was, until, I realised how short Yui's skirt was. I scrambled up from the floor and stood in line with them. I was not going to be in the position of looking Yui's buttocks.

"...I fell in the river, but I was happy when you saved me."

_I think anyone would be happy about that Yui..._

"Even if unfortunate thing occur, we're still growing closer. We couldn't go stargazing, but everyone's having so much fun... If you let yourself wallow in misfortune, then nothing will change. But if you have dreams or desires, or wishes for happiness, I'm sure-"

"Enough." _Nooooo! I wanted to hear the end of Yui's speech. It was getting really beautiful. _"That's enough. Say no more."

"I bring misfortune. Until now, I have seen nothing but misfortune... But no matter what misfortune comes, there are still those who care for me. If that is not happiness, I do not know what is." And get this, Hades actually smiled. A lovely happy smile.

But then things got awkward... More awkward than a turtle.

Hades turned on Yui, a meaningful look in his eye. "You, as well, Kusanagi."

_Well... That was sort of intense._

I was beginning to get the feeling they didn't realise I was there. It was like that Balder situation all over again, only worse. Not even Yui had picked up on my being there. I felt like an intrusive chameleon.

"Thank you." _Awww..._

"O-Oh, not at all." Yui stuttered, her cheeks flushing. _Awww..._

_Okay, it's all very cute but I've really outstayed my invisible presence._ It was time to take some action.

"Hey guys," I skipped before them, a hand raised in greeting. "Now that was all very sweet and stuff but I thought I would just let you know that I'm here. I don't want to be a friendly ghost or anything weird like that."

They both balked at my sudden interruption, looking rather flustered. "Alice!"

"Have you been here the whole time?" Yui asked.

I shrugged with a grimace and admitted awkwardly, "Yeah."

Conveniently, saving Yui and Hades from self-consciousness, the other gods arrived bearing the gift of a tiny swimsuit. They literally grabbed Hades and were about to wrestle him into the trunks. I began slowly backing away. This was something I did not want to get caught up in.

Apollon noticed me and leapt towards me, withdrawing an itsy bitsy bikini (from where I do not wish to know) and brandished the swimwear at me. "Come on Alice, look at-"

I raised a hand before Apollon could even get within two metres of me and told him very sternly to kindly, "Fuck off."

"It's already over." Balder's voice rang out in the silence, the sound of rainfall long gone. Apollon's attention was drawn away from me and I slipped past him to stand with Tsukiyomi.

"That's no fun..." Dionysus said. I had to firmly disagree on that one. It meant no more random stripping. Life was plenty of fun with clothes on.

"Did the misfortune give up?" _What kind of a question is that, Apollon?_

Yui stepped forwards into the open, a gasp of awe coming from her. "The stars are beautiful!"

Hades followed and joined Yui. "As ruler of the underworld I learned the joy of looking up at the beautiful heavens from the dark underworld... I saw those glimmers of hope. Had I lived in the heavens, perhaps I wouldn't' have known this joy."

I turned on Tsukiyomi, looking positively distraught. "Oh my gosh, Suki! That's so sad and beautiful! He's made a bad thing seem really happy and inspirational. So...poignant..."

Tsukiyomi raised a hand and patted me on the back. No words were needed. It was enough for Hades to be watching the stars from a distance. It was enough for us.

* * *

_I thought I wasn't going to update before christmas but...*shrugs*...here I am! Merry christmas again, your reviews are lovely, thank you and goodnight._


	18. Tourism 18

**Tourism 18: If you have nothing good to say make something up.**

* * *

"It's over!" Apollon exclaimed, jumping up from his desk in a stretch. "Class is over for the day!"

"It's time for clubs now." Tsukiyomi stated, deadpan as always.

"That's right, Tsuki-Tsuki. Let's do our best-"

I leapt up and slammed my hands against my desk. Everyone started at the sudden noise and looked around to my back-corner-window-seat desk, which I had recently moved to for tactical purposes (and for the fact that I liked to bird watch during lessons; I got some pretty great pictures of them). Sadly, by moving to this desk, I was right behind Apollon's constant cheer.

But by being in this mediating desk between Apollon and Tsukiyomi, it meant that sometimes, I had to lay down the law. "When in the blazing baboons' bums did you give him that nickname, sun boy?"

"Eh?" Apollon stepped back in fright, almost tumbling over his chair in the process. He was often on the receiving end of my anger. He knew how I could be and it was really in his best interest to evacuate as soon as possible. With a strained smile he spoke, "I've been calling him that since the first week Alice."

"I did not notice this!" I strode over to Tsukiyomi and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Tsukiyomi is an independent moon god who can make his own decisions. He does not deserve to be called by such a stupid name!"

"You call him Suki." Loki drawled mordantly, hands behind his head as he swung back and forth on the heel of his chair. He didn't even bother to look around to look at me when he spoke.

"A perfectly valid name," I said breezily. With a charlatan smile stretching across my face, I made my way towards Loki and placed my hands on the back of his chair. I pushed down and the legs of his chair met the floor with in a jarring _thump_. Loki flailed for a moment in surprise and then turned, lips curling into a petulant snarl.

With difficulty I brought a frown onto my face (my mouth was battling with a persistent smirk) and offered him a condescending chastising. "Health and safety, Loki. 70% of chair related accidents in schools start with swinging on chairs you know. You mustn't damage your brain anymore than it already is."

Loki was grinding his teeth. You know, I could practically see his struggle in biting back whatever harsh words were running around in his head and it delighted me. I can see why teachers were often so patronizing. It was incredibly fun. And what was so great about being patronizing with Loki was that he could not answer back- at least, as long as I didn't give him the opportunity. In jibes of hidden meanings and clever pretences I could get away with pretty much anything. Loki, on the other hand, did not have the same amount of pure unadulterated wit and brilliance that I boasted, so he was stuck with crude offenses (of which he could not spurt out without serious consequences).

He aimed a final glare at me before standing, "Time for the going home club."

"Yes, yes," The wry grin I had been trying to keep down decided to rear its majestic head. I just couldn't help myself. "Off you trot Loki. You too Thor. Have fun going home!"

I think Loki may have hissed at me as he left.

Susanoo was the next to leave the room- just as grumpy as the last too. _I'm not joining a club! Stop talking to me! I don't like you! _ He did my head in. I really didn't understand how he and Tsukiyomi could be brothers. They honestly had nothing alike, excluding their origins.

But he wasn't on my agenda. He could sort himself out. At that present time I had more pressing problems. For example, befriending Hades.

As everyone was packing away I sidled up to Tsukiyomi, motioning for him to stay in his seat, before returning to my own desk. As soon as I sat down, I ripped a sheet of paper from my rather empty note pad and began scribbling down a sentence, keeping one beady eye trained on Hades at all times. He was still neatly shuffling his notes thank goodness.

Tsukiyomi watched me curiously as I wrote hurriedly and then screwed the paper into a ball. I threw it forwards and cheered at my good aim. I knew my dabbling in cricket would pay off one day.

Hades' hand moved to the spot where he had been hit by the ball of paper and looked around in confusion. His eyes alighted on the paper and I silently cheered. _This has to be my best idea yet! _I waited with a growing smile upon my face as Hades unscrewed the paper. This was the pinnacle moment. This was the beginning of a friendship.

And he read the beautiful, yet simple, but still so powerful words, _Will you be my friend?_

Hades stared at the message blankly. "What strange runes are these?"

_Oh... _I had written the note in English. He clearly did not understand it.

I was such an idiot.

Quickly, I grabbed another sheet from my pad and wrote again. _Bonjour! Je voudrais- _"Err..." _–vous... amierai..._

"Shit." I mumbled as I threw the new scrunched up note. That French definitely had not been right. How I had managed to pass that subject I really didn't know. But Hades probably didn't even know French.

German?

_Guten tag._

Nope.

_Aloha... Privet... Shalom?_

I threw note after note, each in a new language and each hitting Hades squarely in the head. "Alice..." I heard Hades quietly grumble my name. I froze mid-throw. There was a second in which I aimed a panicked look at Tsukiyomi, who watched on impassively. Shame on me for thinking he would have a plan. I was the one who was meant to have the plans.

I certainly needed to do something now. It occurred to me that throwing projectiles at someone's head was not the best way to make friends. It was more of a way to provoke people, no matter what good intentions may have come with it. Scrambling, I stumbled up from my seat, grabbing my (albeit scant) school equipment as I went.

"Alice..." _Oh, there he goes again. _He didn't sound very happy. Yet he still hadn't turned around. _Why don't you turn around?!_

I was ushering Tsukiyomi up now. I was glad no one else was in the room but us three now. Yet I still hoped for there to be even less people in the room very soon. Best to leave really, before I got the telling off of my life. That was one thing I hated. Getting told off by people with intense eyes. I had a year 6 teacher like that. She could reduce a child to tears by just looking at them. She was such a great teacher.

Halfway out of the classroom and tripping over desks, Hades spoke again. This time I felt compelled to turn around. It was only right. You can't ignore someone after they call you three times- that's the magic number. And after turning around, I was surprised- and incredibly saddened- to see that Hades was finally facing me. It was his expression that did it. He was pulling that downcast look, you know the one...or maybe you don't. You see, he's looking at you, but still not quite looking at you. He'll be frowning and those intense eyes will be fixated on your feet or something but them BAM! Hades will look up and his eyes meet yours and you feel your insides start to shrivel.

...Is that too observant? Too detailed an account?

Look, I'm an observant person. I notice these things. It's like how I noticed how the first thing Balder did every morning as he walked into class was search for Yui and then brush his hair out of his eyes, or how Dionysus had a secret miniature wine bottle under his desk, or how I could see exactly where Loki stored all of his contraband just by the folds in his clothes. Well, that last one Tsukiyomi had pointed out to me... However what is seen cannot be unseen!

But yeah, intense eyes. Hades pulled that exact stunt on me that very moment. I felt like I had been held in some kind of paralysis, mid-march, Tsukiyomi in tow (forced to stop behind me), and feeling very much at fault. I couldn't help wanting to be his friend, but I definitely should have thought that plan out more. And I needed to start thinking about some way of managing my school life without the use of Japanese kanji. All my notes were in English yet I automatically spoke in Japanese because of that bleeding tattoo on my wrist. Yeah, remember that? It's still very much there, and still very much annoying.

"If you are angry for me causing you misery, Alice," Hades began regretfully, holding me in lockdown through sheer eye power, "I am sorry. I can understand your need to throw paper at me with foreign curses wrote over them but-"

"Foreign curses?!" And my paralysis was broken.

I was furious. Ah, well, not furious. I say that for dramatic effect. It was more along the lines of indignant. "I thought we covered this with all the stripping off under the stars and stuff the other night. I thought Yui made it very clear! Everyone is having fun, we're all growing closer, we don't give a flying fuck about the misfortune. You know, all that stuff. And are you forgetting what I told you? Don't keep bringing up the misery. You create some weird kind of cloak of woefulness for yourself. Take that cloak off, man! You gods seem to like stripping enough to do so- maybe not you specifically- but still- Think about the good, not the bad. Isn't that right, Suki?"

"Alice has good judgment." Tsukiyomi needed little prompting to rely, although his words did seem altogether rather lifeless. No passion at all. But that was just Tsukiyomi for you. I wouldn't want him any other way.

I nodded, satisfied. With arms folded across my chest, I raised my eyebrows at Hades. I was waiting for his response and asking for it through the smuggest of body language.

Hades had an astonished expression, one he seemed to be expressing quite a lot as of recent. At first it's easy to wonder how someone can be so taken aback by the thought of someone caring for them. But then you just have to look at Greek mythology and realise that maybe Hades hasn't had the greatest time. I doubt it's quite like a party down in the underworld. It is a place of constant death, regret and gloom- I assume, of course.

After a moment, the Greek god spoke, softly, uncertain. "Then the notes were not curses wishing evils upon me?"

"No!" I cried vehemently. _I'm not some voodoo witch doctor. _"They were- uh- they were jokes. Foreign jokes... What kind of footwear does a Greek god wear? Tennis Zeus. Ha ha..." I tailed off awkwardly. That was probably the worse joke ever. Not even Christmas cracker worthy. It had been far too diabolical.

So you can imagine how overjoyed I was to have Hades echo those thoughts out loud. I hope you got my sarcasm there. "That joke... It was terrible."

I scrunched my nose up in distaste. "Yeah. Yeah, it was."

"And the writing seemed rather short to be a joke of that length."

"Some languages can be shorter than meanings you're used to. See, you must be able to write in Greek, hm? And Japanese? You didn't know any of those languages though, did you?"

_Please, please, please-_

"No."

_Thank these gods for that! _A grin split over my face at his reply. That was good. Nobody would ever know the contents of those notes. It had been a bad plan to begin with. What madness doth overtake me? Oh well. What was done was done. I had been given a second chance, a do-over if you will. A new stage in the befriend Hades scheme could begin.

"Ah! So Hades, while your here," I was oh-so-excited. A wave of genius had just hit me and I was feeling extremely proud of myself for it. "My art club has recently moved onto scenery as a topic of sorts. We are expected to do some really good night-time landscape stuff. So, I was wondering- only if it's no hassle- if I would be able to follow you out on one of your astronomy club sessions. I mean, you always pick the best spots and you can tell me all about the sky. It'll be great!"

I nudged Tsukiyomi, giving him my best meaningful _start talking_ look.

For a split-second I got the impression he wasn't going to speak. He gives that impression sometimes. Yet in a cheer worthy moment, he had managed to understand my silent request perfectly. "I would also like to come. I wish to become more knowledgeable about the stars."

Hades appeared rather flustered, but happily so. I think he almost smiled. "If your school work requires you to star gaze then I see no problem with you both accompanying me. I cannot promise clear skies but-"

"Don't worry about it." I smiled genially and waved him off. No doubt he was thinking about his presence causing rain. "We artists can work with any backdrop. And Suki is happy just so long as he has something to learn. So, tomorrow, by the gates? We can meet and walk together."

Hades agreed to the plan, giving the time and all other miscellaneous details. You may see that I'm being fairly vague here. I am simply inserting what I assumed must have gone down. I'm rather ashamed not to remember the last part of our conversation. It was a bit of a blur, truth be told. I was in a daze, far too happy.

My squad was within reach. It was going to be so awesome.

* * *

_Hey, hey. First update of 2015. Whoop, whoop! I hope everyone had some great christmas/ new year/ any other celebration fun and thank you for the support on this story. It always makes me smile to know there are people reading this._


	19. Tourism 19

**Tourism 19: Don't offend your hotel's manager.**

* * *

It was the next day and class had just finished. It was a rather dull looking day. I found it so odd. The sun was so often bright in Zeus' garden, the air so often crisp. Yet today it was just awfully grey. How familiar, almost like home.

But the dreary skies would not dampen my mood. No sir! I was so pumped, more pumped than Ash before a pokémon battle. Later that evening, I would be partaking in my first group outing between myself, Tsukiyomi and Hades. The only thing I could think of that beat these excitement levels was on the day I became 16 years old and I came upon the knowledge that I was legally allowed to drive a tractor if I so wish. Not that I could ever be bothered to find, learn about, and drive a tractor. It was more the fact of knowing I could. Forget legal sex, legal use of farming vehicles should be the rage amongst teens.

The only thing that could possibly bring my spirits down was what was about to play out. I was about to go to see Zeus. I certainly didn't have to go. Oh no. Of course I didn't. But that's what I used to say about revision sessions and behold what trouble it brought me when it came around to exam season.

I needed some advice. Advice on language, advice on his brother, and maybe just some general life advice too. _Might as well while I'm there. _It worried me that I hadn't seen or spoken to Zeus since that first eventful day in the garden (and very possibly the fact he could smite me down at the flick of a finger). What had he called me by back then? An unwanted straggler? I was expendable. I was unneeded. I was that extra Lego brick in the build your own Hogwarts castle set. I was the 1 pence change you get back at the 99p store. Maybe in going to see him today Zeus would finally see it provident to lob me back out of the net, to send me home. That wasn't a bad thing, surely? But I found myself worried anyway. What protagonist would want to go home halfway through her story after all?

I approached those alarmingly large double doors, oddly feeling much more anticipation than my first time here. _Well, _I thought wryly, _I was under the impression I was on drugs back then._

I didn't know what to do. Knock? Stand there till I was noticed? Serenade him through the doors? He might not have even been in there. If that were the case he would not be able to hear a lovely rendition of _my heart will go on_. My first time here I had gone straight through. That probably wasn't the right course of action for today.

_Enough mental rambling! Come to a decision!_

_Okay, okay. Knock. _I would knock.

I raised a fist and rapped out the familiar _shave and a haircut _tune against the wood. A reply didn't even come before the door opened of its own accord and I stumbled into the room in its wake. The room was just as grand as before. No Zeus though.

_Think again._

"Alice Roth," The voice that sounded from behind me had me almost jumping out of my own skin.

"Oh Shit!" I sprang forwards and turned on my heel. It was Zeus, the git.

He swept past me before I could even comment and began his walk up to the throne. And in just the mention of the word 'throne' he feels like even more of a git to me. Not a bad person, just a git. There's a difference.

Once settled on his mighty throne, which was actually making me giggle now (you know, throne, toilet), and gazed upon me coolly. "Is there a particular reason for you seeking my presence today?"

"Particular, not really." I said, rather flippant. But that was not unusual for me, was it? I am flippant by nature. "Reason, yes, or more so, _reasons_. It's all rather vague in my mind really."

"How very amusing." Zeus remarked dryly.

My lips quirked and I eyed the god, bemused. "Was that sarcasm I heard?"

How taken aback I was to see Zeus' lips move to match mine. "Maybe."

This was good. Zeus was amused. I was doing well for once. Oh, who am I kidding? I always do well in some way or another. Though apparently, that was enough hilarity for the day. Zeus was frowning now. "So, do you care to explain these vague reasons to me, Alice Roth?"

"That I do," And with a lot more confidence I strode forwards, stopping below the steps to his throne. "The first thing I want to mention is language barriers. I don't know how to write in Japanese."

"Have you considered learning how?"

_That smug bastard. _"No," I grumbled sourly, "No, I have not. May I remind you I don't have enough time in this garden to saddle myself with learning a whole new language? Not if you want your little gods to be converted to human lovers."

"Hmm," Zeus mused aloud, a semblance of shrewdness flitting across his face in the most obnoxious of ways. Sometimes I felt like Zeus and I were far too alike, him being the sterner one of the two of us, of course. "From what I have seen you haven't made much of an impact on them. In some cases you have been antagonizing them even."

"Ahhh... About that-"

"You were not meant to be here, but you are. I see that you have made _some_ effort but you have been quite picky about who your effort goes to. Humour me, what warrants my brother and the moon god worthy of your attention over the rest?"

Well, that was easy enough to answer. "They seem to have more sense than the rest."

"Ha!" Zeus' sudden bark of laughter had me starting in surprise. I had not been expecting that. "That may be true, but in some ways they are also rather imbecilic, wouldn't you say?"

"We're all a little bit imbecilic, Zeus. Some cases are just more severe than others."

"Any examples you care to share?"

I would be frank about this. After all, Zeus seemed like the kind of guy to not want the truth sugar coated. "Loki, Apollon- no offense Zeus- Balder... He can be very imbecilic at times. Susanoo, sometimes Dionysus. I don't really know about Thor. He doesn't speak much. I suppose he could be imbecilic."

"You just named most of the gods in this garden." The Greek god observed.

Now you may have picked up on the fact I did not mention all the gods in that list- just as Zeus did. But of course you know that telling the truth doesn't mean I can't omit a few names, for personal safety and such.

"Did I? I didn't notice."

"I am pleased to see my name was not mentioned."

_Oh, don't worry. I was saying it, mentally._

"Enough of this digression. You came here for a solution. I can provide another language conduit if you so wish. I can spare _some_ power for you."

Well, a power conduit... That sounded rather sci-fi to me. Though I was pretty sure I knew what it meant, but just to clarify-"You mean another Tattoo?"

"Yes, that is what I mean."

What a shame. Tattoos were simply something I couldn't stand for.

"Fuck that."

"And with that vulgar remark," Zeus sighed, pushing himself up from his throne and began his swaggering descent down from said throne. "I will assume we are done here."

"Ah-lalalala!" I sprouted out an alarming amount of gibberish as I ran after Zeus. It's a verbal defect that comes about when pressured. Just so you know. "Nope. Nope, nope. We're not done yet. There is still confusion that has yet to be worked out of my brain. It's about your brother."

"Ah, the eternal mission of ensnaring Hades in a social trap, compelled by your extreme longing for camaraderie."

"Extreme longing for- what?" Okay, I could be pretty damn articulate at times but Zeus hit the ball out of the park in that field. "Why haven't you stopped walking yet? You did hear me say this is about your brother, right?"

"I did." He answered smoothly, navigating his ways through the school with ease. I on the other hand had no clue where we were and I had been here for months already. And why didn't he poof away or something? I was beginning to think he was purposefully making me tail after him.

"Hm, okay then. We can walk and talk. I'm fine with that." I was _so_ not fine with that.

"Good, start talking then."

He was really starting to get on my nerves. _Grin and bear it, young Alice._ "You see, you wish for these God's to learn about humans. I wish to have my own personal posse. Me, Suki and Hades. Hades is your brother."

Zeus gave me a look- a look I imagined is similar to one I would give when someone continually states the obvious. We really were similar. How annoying.

I watched Zeus' exposed throat. My fingers twitched.

_What was that?_

I continued on, more dourly now. "I believe we have comparable goals. There's something in this for the both of us."

"Elaborate."

"I was about to do just that." I was practically grinding my teeth by now. Zeus was angering me more than any other god ever had- than anyone ever had for that matter. Why was I so angry with him? I had suffered much worse in the past than a slightly aggravating conversation. I had been the target of bullies, I had been nearly run over, I had been hollered at by drunk men as a young girl, I had seen people do the most terrible things to those they should have treated with respect, I had learnt of wars and catastrophes, I had seen the bad side of humanity that all of us face every day. There are so many things I could have got angry at that instead I remained a bystander or a victim for. They were my moments of passivity. Confidence was a trait I had only recently garnered- in the last few years. It was a miracle I went through such a change based on how reclusive I had once been. So why get angry now?

My fists were clenched by my sides, trembling. I was practically seeing red, yet my expression was set in stone. An unwavering grin remained stretched across my pale face. "You want the gods be friendly; I want to be friendly with certain gods. I see a win-win situation in which you treat me nicely and don't send me home, and I open up Hades and Tsukiyomi more than Yui ever could."

Zeus appraised me thoughtfully. "Hm. I had gathered that much. You are rather determined to befriend them after all. Though I wasn't under the impression I had treated you differently from anyone else here. I haven't, in fact, spoken to you since your first day in the garden. So am I not treating you just as nicely as everyone else here?"

"Oh...Yes," I suddenly relaxed. My fury was drained away like it had never been there in the first place. "You're right." I felt rather silly. Since when did I state the obvious, or jump to such idiotic conclusions, or get so irate? _This garden must be affecting me. I've spent too much time around weirdos._

There was a pounding in my temple. I spared Zeus a small smile and wave, and began to totter away down the hall, clutching at my head. "Bye, Zeus. I'm gonna- I'm gonna go lay down somewhere..."

I could feel his eyes on me long after I was out of his sight. You don't have to be within a tangible distance to be watched by a god.

* * *

_Heyooooh! Any opinions on this chapter? Or better yet, any predictions after reading this? Hmmmm ;)_


	20. Tourism 20

**Tourism 20: Take care when befriending foreigners; they scare easy.**

* * *

It started with Loki and Balder doing the tango.

Strangely, I was quite enjoying it. It was not often I had dreams but when I did they were far too outlandish, vague or seedy. This dream however, was a nice change from those other more questionable night visions. It was debatably seedy, but in my eyes it was a lovely, highly hilarious, completely unambiguous dream. I don't like dreams without clear-cut meanings you see. What could be more clear-cut than two men partaking in sensual ballroom dancing? It was because Loki and Balder were incredibly gay together. Or maybe it was more one-sided on Loki's part. That god had some seriously unresolved issues.

But very soon my dream morphed from toe-tapping tunes and dazzling outfits to something much more sinister. I was no longer watching a homoerotic display of my understanding of Loki and Balder's unacknowledged relationship and instead saw two great eyes. They were like the pits of hell, never-ending chasms burning in golden flames. I woke up in a cold sweat. I never wake up in sweats! It was a first for me.

I swung my feet over the side of the bed and sat there for a moment, getting my bearings. I was in mine and Yui's room at Zeus's garden. I had spoken to Zeus earlier and had decided to take a rest because of a horrible headache. It was the day I would have my first outing with Hades and Suki.

"Oh no!" I leapt out of bed and staggered towards the clock on Yui's bedside table. I saw that it was not yet 6 o'clock. I breathed a sigh of relief. That was good. I would have probably died of sadness if I had missed it. People say dogs die of sadness. I imagine I'd be like that, my owners gone, nobody left but an empty sachet of dog food. _What a sad way to go... _I decided then that I was definitely investing in a dog trust when I got back to Earth.

I felt really sticky and gross then. My long-sleeved pyjamas were sticking to my skin like films of sodden material. I guess they were films of sodden material. Gross. I had never been in a cold-night-terror-sweat before- that being my reason for my heavy distaste for such an occurrence I suppose. I also suppose that would be one of the main reasons for people sleeping in more exposing nightwear. Not that I ever would, no matter how many sweats I woke up in.

I decided to shower. No way was I going out tonight all smelly and slimy like this. I would probably rot Tsukiyomi's nostrils off. An exaggeration. I couldn't actually smell anything but I was going to assume I was smelly, for the sake of motivation. You see, I've never been incredibly fond of washing. I love being clean, but the washing itself... not so much. It's the fact I have to be naked. I don't like looking at my own body. Now you're probably wondering: is she ugly, insecure, was she involved in some kind of trauma? No, none of that. It's just the way it's always been. At first my family had been really worried about it. They wondered if something had happened to me in pre-school while they weren't there, or if they had somehow accidently put it into my mind that nudity was a bad thing. Again, it's none of that. I told them so, but they took me to see a specialist anyway. We went for a few sessions but nothing seemed rather productive and I was still quite young. They thought I might grow out of it. In the end Mum, Dad and George had accepted it as part of me as I was growing up and no further questions were asked.

"You alright, Alice?" Melissa asked, looking up from the book he was reading on the table. I guess he had noticed my unusual behaviour, more usual than usual at least.

"Peachy," I said, offering Melissa a small appreciative wave before padding to the bathroom. Really, I wasn't feeling so peachy. My headache was still around, not quite as bad as it was earlier, but it was still there. And the nightmare hadn't left me feeling so great either. I wasn't fond of ambiguous dreams after all.

You know the one thing I didn't like about our en suite? The massive bloody mirror covering the wall above the sink area. It reminded me of the luxurious hotel bathrooms that must have been made after business men decided people going to stay in their lodgings would be super vain. Who needs mirrors so large? Certainly not me. It made it far too difficult for me to get by in the bathroom. I had to try and aim my gaze anywhere else while changing. It was so awkward. Over the course of the year so far I had managed to devise a method in which I stare at the towel rack and once naked step into the shower/bath. It worked well enough. I would have much rather been washing in my bathroom at home though.

So I washed- awkwardly- and once done felt as fresh and prim as a daisy. And I was so ready to get rained on! Not saying Hades was going to cause any rain, but just in case I was bringing my trusty pack-a-mac. It was the daddy of all rain ponchos.

I bid my farewells to Melissa and he frowned at my enthusiasm. "Those boys will be the death of you!"

"Yeah, yeah, grandpa."

We really had good vibes between us. Melissa and his constant pretend-friendly-optimism-that-is-actually-negativity and me with my superior use of satire language. We were as close as clay monster and oddly conspiratorial human girl could be.

I arrived at our specified meeting area, fashionably late by exactly two minutes, as was the Alice Roth way, with a huge grin upon my face. If it were possible that smile grew even wider upon seeing Tsukiyomi and Hades, and I was starting to fear that my face may split in half. I ran up to Tsukiyomi and jumped upon him for a hug, cheering loudly about his presence, as per usual. It was nice to be the outgoing one in a friendship for a change (wherever personal space was involved that is). I knew exactly how to act around Tsukiyomi simply because he didn't care how I acted. I could probably smack his bum if I wanted and get away with it. Not that I would ever do or condone that. That is totally indecent.

Hades on the other hand, I really didn't know how to greet him, so I ended up awkwardly high fiving him. Hades didn't even realise that I had been attempting high-five him, it was just me slapping his limp hand. It was probably the least satisfying high-five I'd had in a while. And you know a satisfying high-five when you feel it and you know they feel good, especially when there's a little bit of a sting on your palm afterwards- that's how you know it's a good high-five.

"Ahaha!" I was laughing like I was so totally on top of this social situation but in actuality I really was not. _So awkward..._ I had built this meeting up so much that I hadn't prepared myself for the potential let down of me panicking when it came to actually properly talking to Hades in a friendly environment. I was not prepared!

I aimed Tsukiyomi a freak out look. It is the type of look that demand his help based on pure social obligatory. "Shall we go then?" Tsukiyomi asked and my smile turned easy and thankful. He made it seem so simple. It probably was simple. I was just making it difficult for myself, wasn't I? I would just have to find my inner calm. I thought back to the day when I had first attempted to befriend Tsukiyomi and remembered how I had freaked out then too. But then it had turned out to be so easy to talk to him. A lot of the time it was more that I talked at him rather than too him but still, that was the frame of mind I needed to be in. Hades may require slightly more conversational selectiveness than Tsukiyomi but surely not by much.

So we began to walk, following Hades as he lead the way to wherever he had decided to pitch up with us. He carried his telescope, I carried my art equipment and camera, and Tsukiyomi had his notebook. I'd say we looked quite cool. I've always looked at people who carry some kind of hobby around with them and thought that they were people who knew how to live. Like when there's a person on the bus who's reading a novel, or a guy at the park practising guitar, or a woman at walking past your house with a fishing rod. They're the productive people, the people who know how to have a fulfilling life. It always made me happy to know I was one of them. Maybe that was the reason for never leaving home without a camera.

Now while I was busy thinking about how cool we looked, there was a steadily growing silence that I was unaware of until then. I snapped back to reality and suddenly started to panic again. _Speak Alice! _"So," I spoke and blanched upon hearing how strained and high pitched my voice was. I coughed to cover my embarrassment but fortunately neither Hades nor Tsukiyomi had appeared to have noticed (or they just weren't reacting). "How about lessons today? A real drag, weren't they?"

"Alice, its Saturday. We had no lessons." Tsukiyomi informed me.

I let out a peal of overly loud laughter. _Now that was embarrassing. _"Right you are, Suki. I was just messing about."

I saw Hades looking ahead, his face pulled into one of those expressions in which you don't say anything because you're embarrassed for the person who messed up and you know they've messed up, but never point it out. I felt both endeared and mortified at the same time.

I would have to move the conversation on to something else then, hopefully something I wouldn't make a complete cock-up of this time. "Hades, you know I've always wondered how you can have your hair falling into your eyes like that and have it not bother you. Like, I had a side fringe once but I grew it out straight away. That bugger was annoying."

As soon as I had started talking I couldn't stop myself, but I wish I had. That was even worse than what I had said before.

Hades looked surprised. Of course he did! How many people must have questioned him about his haircut before? Probably none. That's why. Although he appeared bewildered, after a few moments he managed to gather himself and give a respectable answer, "Uh, well, I suppose I have never really paid much attention to my hair before. It has never bothered me. I am glad that you have found the right hairstyle for yourself though, Alice."

"Oh," Now it was my turn to be surprised. Hades coped with that pretty well; he even managed to work in some concern for my comfort. That was suave. My expression changed from my previous nervous grimace to a smile again, albeit it being a small sheepish smile. "Thank you, Hades."

Hades smiled too and now I was starting to feel a bit more confident, more like my usual rambunctious self. "I've always been annoyed by my hair. That's why I was asking, you see. It's difficult to have the right mix between style and comfort. Both you and Suki must have hit that nail on the head though because if you both seem pretty comfy and dapper. Maybe it's because your gods. Yeah! That must be it. It took me way too long to find the right hair cut. When it was long it got stuck in doors all the time, when it was short I looked like a boy. You don't want to know what my friends used to-"

And so I won't bore you with the rest of my rambling, but just by that you must get the sense of the type of stuff I was going on about. Somehow I filled up a ten minute walk with that and Hades didn't fall asleep. I feel quite bad really; I didn't let him get a word in edgeways. He didn't seem to mind though. I guess I was too used to hanging out with Tsukiyomi who required constant conversation fillers to avoid long silences. I just spoke about whatever came to mind. My verbal diarrhoea did get me in to trouble sometimes. Right now though, I hoped Hades just saw it as an oddly charming quirk.

We reached Hades special spot which turned out to be the same place where we were before. You know, where all the gods started to strip and run around in the rain like loonies. This place brought back bad memories... Too many nipples.

_Oh well! _I thought Hades might have picked a new spot but if this was the best stargazing site- and he had promised the best- then I guess I was okay with it.

We all set up our equipment. When I say _we_, I really mean Hades and I. Tsukiyomi just stood there with his notepad and pen, watching us blankly. Well, he didn't really have anything to set up, did he? So as not to have him awkwardly standing there like a plank, I called him over and asked him to hold my paint palette. No, I was not sneakily using Tsukiyomi as a shelf just because I knew he wouldn't object to it. That would be silly...

The sun was still setting so I decided to take some pictures while I waited for night to fall. It was a disposable camera. Not my first choice of gear, but unfortunately I hadn't found any plug sockets at this school. I guess there was no use for electrical devices at this school. And even more annoying was the fact I had run out of film on my non-electrical cameras. This one disposable camera was my last one. Now that I think about it, I did well to keep my usage of cameras going until now. It was lucky I had had so many on me when I came to Zeus's garden.

This information wouldn't have been important usually. Usually it would have just been me rambling again, me telling you about my lack of cameras. This though isn't a ramble. This is actually very crucial information, because what happened next scared me. It scared us all.

* * *

_Cliff hanger! Haven't done one of them in a while..._

_So what is Zeus up to? Why is the gods hair so perfect? Is Alice's headache exactly what it says on the tin or something more sinister? Will she ever stop being so awkward? _

_Has she been through a war-zone? Nah, not really Getsunohimesama. She can just be pessimistic about humanity sometimes._

_Thank you for the reviews everyone, they give me happy little belly butterflies. See you soon!_


	21. Tourism 21

**Tourism 21: Holiday sniffles can be unexpectedly helpful.**

* * *

_Click._

"Huh?"

That wasn't a normal click. It wasn't the satisfying sound you get when a picture has been captured. This was a flatter sound. A duller sound.

I quickly turned the little toothed wheel on my camera and pressed the capture button again.

This time there wasn't click. There wasn't any sound at all.

I felt hollow.

"No, no, no..." I remember my eyes going wide and I felt almost as if my world was falling away around me. And now that I look back it must seem so stupid, but at that moment in time I felt so distraught. I couldn't think of a time I had ever been so upset before. "My camera's not working. It's not working!"

"Alice?" Tsukiyomi brows furrowed and he set down the paint palette. Hades looked up from unpacking his telescope.

"That was my last- I can't!" I choked out. My hands were shaking, my lips were trembling. I didn't know what to do with myself. I had been rather emotional all day- earlier with my anger and now this. My head was killing me. I felt like there was an immense pressure pushing down on my skull. My eyes were even beginning to water. I was such a hypocrite. After all my talk of hating crying and there I was with tears streaming down my face and showing no signs of stopping.

Tsukiyomi was the first to react. He strode forwards and had his hands on my shoulders, eyes upon my own, no doubt searching my face for a clue to why I was acting like this. I'm sure he must have been surprised. I'd never behaved like this before- not in front of him, or Hades, or anybody. "What's wrong?"

"I can't- I can't-" I could barely speak, my breathing was too erratic.

Hades had now abandoned his equipment and had rushed over. "You can't what?"

"I can't record! I can't remember!" I cried. "I can't!"

"Record?"

Their confused echo of my words was the last thing I heard before everything faded to black. I had feinted, I later realised. I had never feinted before. It was a rather odd experience. Everything goes dizzy, and then there's a rushing in your head, you can't support your weight and then _bam_. You hit the floor. I'm not sure if anyone caught me. They better have. Well... I assume they did because when I came to both Tsukiyomi and Hades were hovering over me anxiously.

"Roth, Roth." Hades called as I blinked myself back into consciousness. "Alice Roth."

"Hm?"

Hades breathed a sigh of relief as my eyes fluttered open. I looked up at him and Tsukiyomi blearily. They did their best to cover their looks of alarm, but they weren't quite quick enough for me to miss it. I watched them warily. "What's with the long faces?" I still hadn't remembered my freak out moment.

"Are you feeling well, Alice? You said some strange things..." Tsukiyomi said, feeling my head with the back of his hand.

For a moment, I was bewildered by their concern- then I remembered. "Shit... I can't believe I did that. Earlier I was so angry, I had a headache... Now I've cried about a disposable camera and feinted. I must be ill."

Tsukiyomi frowned. "You didn't fie-"

Hades cut in then. "We should probably head back early. You need rest." He and Tsukiyomi shared a look. They were trying to hide something from me. Tsukiyomi had been about to say I didn't feint. But I did. I blacked out.

Tsukiyomi stood. "You're very warm, Alice. You could have a fever. I'll go ahead and get some medicine from the school shop. Can you take Alice back to her room, Hades Aidoneus?"

At first Hades looked like he was going to disagree, maybe he was thinking about causing misfortune again, but then he steeled himself, nodding. "Of course."

And before I knew it, Tsukiyomi had run off and I was being given a piggyback ride by Hades. It had been a long time since I'd had one of these. My last piggyback ride had been at the age of eleven when I nearly did my Dad's back in after leaping on him by surprise. He told me firmly that I was a big girl now, too big for a middle-aged man to carry around on his back. I always poked fun at him for getting old after that. I guess I was annoyed. But I understood. I would not have a piggyback ever again if it meant keeping my Dad safe and healthy.

It was lucky for me Hades had the youthful gall of a spring lamb. Well, by that I mean he had at least enough strength to carry a fully grown woman. I felt a bit guilty since he was currently limited to human strength but it's not like I asked him to carry me. I probably should have protested like most heroines would do if someone offered to carry them. I'm not that noble though. The moment Hades suggested it I couldn't say no. I even overplayed how weak I was feeling. I mean, I probably could have walked- with difficulty- but I was seriously itching for a piggyback ride. As far as I was concerned I could just sit back (not literally because I would fall off) and enjoy the ride.

"Hades," I mumbled into the back of his shirt as we trekked back to the school campus. "Aren't you worried about causing misery by holding me?"

"I've already caused enough misery for one evening. I'm hoping your moment earlier will be the last of it." He told me glumly.

"Oh no, that wasn't your fault." I probably shouldn't have brought up misery in the first place, but now that we were talking about it I would at least let him know that he definitely wasn't the cause of it. "I've been feeling off all day. It's my own fault for pushing myself. This was all just a coincidence."

"It culminated around me though. There's no coincidence in that."

"No, no." I shook my head so fervently I ended up butting my forehead against Hades. He grunted in pain and I gave a quick apology before continuing (feeling slightly sicker after shaking my head like that). "Honestly, I was so ill earlier I thought I was going to strangle your brother. Literally."

Hades raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Don't worry. He has that effect on people sometimes. I should know."

"No, you don't understand. I was so mad. Livid even. I don't know what came over me."

"Feverish hallucinations came over you. People often become irritable or their imagination stretches when they have a high fever. It is common." Hades explained, readjusting me as I began sliding off his back. "As is weakness. Are you struggling to hold on?"

"Nah," I said and then began to slip again. "Okay, maybe I am." My limbs felt like jelly and was I flipping exhausted. All I wanted was to sleep and not wake up until Christmas. I could hibernate like a bear, but instead of waking up in spring I could wake up in winter, just in time to make merry on the best holiday of the year. I hoped we'd celebrate it here. I couldn't imagine missing Christmas.

I'm not sure but I think I heard Hades chuckle, probably at my quick change of mind. But I was delirious. What do I know? "Try and hang on for a little bit longer."

I nodded whilst attempting to stifle a yawn, and without the use of my hands, I ended up yawning into Hades hair. It was really gross. I got a mouthful of it. Luckily he didn't seem to mind. If I had had the energy I would most likely be embarrassed about it. "Hades?" I called.

"Yes," He replied unsurely, looking back to see me still spitting out bits of his hair.

"What do I do about my cameras?" I asked sadly, "I really love my cameras, you know?"

"You might be able to find another in the school shop," He answered, "And if not, there are always other ways to record memories. You can draw, or write... That's what you were upset about, right? Not having a way to document memoirs."

I didn't even know why I had got upset earlier. But I guess that must have been the reason. I found it funny Hades was able to come up with such a well established reason for my break down. I think I may have started to giggle. Like hysterical giggling. As I've said, I was delirious. I'm not quite sure about anything that happened. This is just my reconstruction. But I feel like this happened. I hope this is what happened.

I must have fallen asleep after that because my next memory is of me waking up to the sound of Melissa going on about how he had been right. "I knew it! I knew it! I said those boys would be the death of her."

"Melissa," I heard Yui's voice nearby. She was hushing him. "Quiet now. She's sleeping."

"Not anymore." I grumbled. I felt really sick, like super sick. My body felt like a volcano and I was profusely sweating. When I finally summoned the energy to open my eyes, blurred images of Yui and Melissa swam in front of my field of vision. "Oh man, I'm seeing doubles."

"You really are ill." Yui said worriedly, "I'll get you a cold towel for your forehead."

"Where am I?" I asked Melissa woozily, trying my best to focus my eyes on the clay monster.

"Your bed, Alice." He answered me in a mixture of amusement and exasperation. "Hades came stumbling in with you on his back yesterday. Tsukiyomi came in with medicine a little while afterwards but you were already asleep. You should take some when you feel up to it."

I looked over to my side and saw a glass of water and a medicine package sitting on the table. I smiled, despite feeling like a pile of shit. "Nice... Squad power."

On one hand, the outing had been somewhat of a disaster (no one to blame for that but me), but then also in some strange way, in the wake of my disaster, I felt that finally I might be getting somewhere with this squad of mine.

* * *

_Ah... The typical fever scene, or was it? Haha ha hahha Mwhahahaha!_

_Just gonna say, I have so much fun writing this fic. I find it a lot easier to write than any other story I've started on this site. To be honest, its probably the one I'll finish first. And we've still got a little while to go yet._

_Ooooh! And how does everyone like the little revamp I've done. With Alice's tourism pointers at the top of every chapter. This story is really starting to come together. It may not seem like it yet, but it is! Just you wait and see..._

_Happy reading!_


	22. Tourism 22

**Tourism 22: Remember to pack your sympathy.**

* * *

For most of the following week I was holed up in my room. Thoth had marched in on Monday morning to make his own appraisal of my condition after Yui had told him I wouldn't be attending lesson that day. He had taken one look over me and then told me not to come to lesson for the next week. I looked that bad, huh? I can't say I felt at all well then, but keeping me stuck in here with Melissa for constant company for a whole week? That was a tad excessive.

Yui was there when evening came around and was the one to inform me of Susanoo beginning to open up. Fancy that? All it took was Yui to wave her sword around a bit. We should have all gone running at him brandishing swords on the first day if that's all it took. Although Yui did have some kind of magic charm. Apollon probably placed it on fairy abilities, I placed it on her fabulous purple hair.

So now Yui was running with Susanoo every morning and evening, meaning I spent a little bit less time with Yui and more with just Melissa than I would like. Melissa was great- don't get me wrong- but having him for 24/7 company was not so great. Fortunately when Yui was gone Tsukiyomi was there to fill in the gaps. He came as a relay for all the information of the amusing happening in class for the day. On Wednesday he came to my bedside simply to tell me Balder had smacked his face into the blackboard that day which gave me a good laugh. His deadpan re-enactment of the moment had me in stitches. Suki was such a sweetie.

And not only Tsukiyomi had visited me. Hades had popped in once! He came just after I woke on Monday morning, before Thoth had got there thank god. He looked quite surprised to see I was awake. I guess he had thought I would still be asleep. Well, he brought along some vitamins and some kind of hot honey drink. He didn't stay for long; he just made a little bit of small talk and then left in a hurry. Apparently he was late for class. He may have reverted back to a slightly more reserved version of himself than the previous night but that still didn't stop me grinning like an idiot for the whole time he was checking up on me. I must have been drunk on the idea of my squad, plus the fact I was still feverish.

As nice as everyone had been to me while I was ill, I was seriously starting to get fed up of being cooped up in one place and getting mollycoddled by a clay monster. It was beginning to affect my sanity. So when Friday came around I decided enough was enough. I got up at the same time as Yui who woke early to run with Susanoo. Leaving this early meant I could leave before Melissa woke up and got the opportunity to harass me into staying because I was still 'ill'. Honestly, it was only a bit of a headache and a slightly raised temperature, yet he still insisted on me staying. Yui hadn't been half as bad. She had made sure I was feeling well enough to leave the room, but didn't go on about it for too long.

So now there I was, in one of the school stairways, standing by a window, with my elbow propping up my chin on the windowsill and watching the rain pour down outside. I had a little while to go till class so I thought I might as well enjoy the freedom of being out of my room for the first time in a week.

"Well, look who it is." Ah, Loki. It had been a while since I'd seen him. He was likely to be trying to be a nuisance to me. It never quite worked out for him.

Without turning around (to maintain my cool blasé appearance), I spoke with casual interest. "What's your opinion on the tango, Loki?"

"Huh?" The disgruntled surprise in his voice was clear. I smirked. This was just what I needed after a week of seclusion.

I turned around now, gazing nonchalantly at Loki who watched me from the stairs, frowning. "Tango, Loki." I drawled, "The dance."

He wrinkled his nose irritably and approached me, shoving his hands into his pockets. "What kind of a question is that?" He said, leaning against the wall next to the window.

"A good one." I replied cheekily. "Are you going to answer?"

He smiled derisively, "No. But I have a question for you."

I looked away from the window, in which I had just seen Yui run past in her running clothes, to look at Loki. He wasn't looking at me. He obviously found watching the dust on the staircase more interesting than looking at me, but then I wasn't looking at him so it would be rather hypocritical of me to fault him. "Alright," I assented in interest, "Shoot."

His eyes flickered to me for a moment and then hurriedly settled on the staircase again. "So... What are you doing here?" _What a boring question,_ I thought. I couldn't help but feel he was going to ask something else though.

I would answer anyway. "Watching the peasants of my kingdom mess about in the mud." At his look of confusion I continued, "Yui's gone out running to find Susanoo. I wouldn't bother with him if I were her, especially since it's raining, but then I'm not her. Yui is the epitome of goodness after all."

"She's annoying," He said curtly, "Like you."

"Oh thank you Loki! I do try my best." I enthused with mock delight.

"You think you're such a smartass."

"Correction- I know I'm such a smartarse."

He grumbled a noise of displeasure, before pushing away from the wall. Clearly he had had enough of me and intended to leave. But before he could, something quite out of the unusual happened. There was a blinding blue light and rumbling, tremors. It felt much alike the day I had been brought to this garden. It came from out outside, in the forest, in the direction Yui had run in. _Yui... Oh no._ Just as I rushed to look out of the window in a panic, searching for any sign of Yui, a voice rang out throughout the garden. "Susanoo, Totsuka Takeru!" It was Zeus.

"This can't be good." I muttered. _Not wherever that git is involved._

"Come on," Loki said, all earlier squabbles forgotten. He motioned for me to follow as he began to run down the stairs. "Let's go."

And so we ran all the way to the entrance hall, which wasn't that far really, but surprise runs weren't exactly something I scheduled for. We arrived to see that all the other gods were there, gathered to watch as Susanoo was held midair by a golden cage and Yui was watching in complete alarm. She said something about falling from a cliff and his shackle breaking to save her. I thought that was a good thing. It meant he understood the human heart better, right?

"Totsuka Takeru, if you do not repent you will be expelled." Ah, so Zeus was behind this. There he was, standing on the staircase, trying to be some kind of magnificent bastard. _The git. _"As a special exception, I will allow the others to graduate without you."

Nobody was very happy about that reveal of information. Well, when I say nobody I don't quite mean nobody. The idiot standing next to me seemed to be happy about it. A lazy smirk appeared on his face. "Really? Does that mean we can flunk out and go home if we go back to being gods? Maybe I'll try that..."

I elbowed him in the gut. He grunted and bent double, hands holding his stomach.

"Fool." Zeus scowled, "Who said he's going home? Those who are expelled will spend the rest of eternity as statues."

_What the hell? We've got some Narnia shit going on here. Zeus turning people into statues... He's becoming Jadis. _As much displeasure as Zeus's announcement inspired within me, I will admit I got an insane amount of pleasure from watching Loki freak out about it.

"What?" He cried in alarm, clutching at his face. _Ha-hardy-ha,_ _that's what you get you unsympathetic prick._

"Bastard..." Susanoo growled, "You can't just go and say anything you want!"

As much as I wanted to agree with the sea god right about then I would have to dispute that statement. Zeus clearly could say what he wanted as he held all the power right about now. History is written by the winners, as they say.

At one thump of his staff, the golden cage broke and Susanoo fell to the floor. Apollon was the first to rush forwards, quickly followed by Yui. I looked over at Tsukiyomi. He wasn't going to run up to his brother?

Apollon asked Susanoo if he was alright, but it seemed he had reverted back into his tsundere self, marching off, seething.

"This isn't good." _No Dionysus, this certainly isn't._

Hades then voiced aloud the question I had been wondering. "Tsukito, shouldn't you go to him?"

"I..." Tsukiyomi looked down and remained silent for a moment. "I don't know what to do."

I watched Tsukiyomi sadly. _He must feel upset..._

Yui ran off then. She said she would go to talk to Susanoo and I sure hoped she'd be able to handle this one. Though I'm not sure how much her magic purple hair could do for her this time. Right now though, as horrible as I feel for saying it, I was way more worried about my buddy Suki. I approached him cautiously and asked him as gently as I could. "Are you okay, Suki?"

He was still looking down and didn't reply. Instead of answering he said something unexpected, "Come with me, Alice."

He led me out of the hall, away from all the other gods. A few had called out to me; they hadn't seen me in a week after all. But I couldn't really stop to chat. Tsukiyomi was already walking away. I followed him out to the gardens. I wondered what we were doing there.

I heard Susanoo yelling nearby. _Ah, now I see. _But for the life of me I couldn't work out why he was bringing me along for a chinwag with his brother. We hardly got along very well.

"Kusanagi Yui..." Or maybe it wasn't a chat with his brother. He had called out to Yui who it seemed had been trying to talk to Susanoo, seemingly without any productive results. I trailed after Tsukiyomi, timidly now. What was I doing there?

The three of us walked for a little while in silence. I felt kind of awkward, almost as if soon I was going to be intruding. This walk was leading up to something. I was sure of it.

We stopped by a marble entranceway to the school building and Tsukiyomi began. "You say you fell from a cliff?" He asked Yui.

"Ah...Yes." She nodded.

There was a silence and the only sound that could be heard was the distant chirping of birds. The stretch of quiet only increased my feeling of discomfort. "It's the same as last time." Tsukiyomi finally said.

"What?" Yui looked at him in confusion, as did I.

"When we were young, a goddess fell from a cliff right before Totsuka Takeru's eyes." _What...? _Was I hearing right? Was Tsukiyomi really telling us this? My agitation only increased as I listened. _I shouldn't be hearing this. _"She was a kind goddess, who had looked after him since the day he was born. Totsuka Takeru tried to save her, but he was young and weak. Those who saw it misunderstood and thought Totsuka Takeru had pushed her off the cliff. He insisted it wasn't true, but due to his uncouth nature, people continued to doubt him."

Yui turned to Tsukiyomi, her eyes saddened. "No..."

"I decided it would be best to tell you." He told her, before grabbing the end of my sleeve and pulling me away with him. I was pulled along in a state of shock, watching the ground pensively as we walked. I hadn't known Susanoo had been through something like that. His mother figure died and he was blamed for her death. _How horrible... _I felt guilty now for getting so annoyed with him in the past, for not even bothering to give him a chance. I had only ever seen him as the grumpy brother who would always look down on me as Suki's friend. I was wrong... Well, to an extent.

Tsukiyomi piloted me to a bench, even having to push me down to sit because of my absorption in my thoughts of Susanoo. He sat beside me and it was only when he spoke that I was brought back from my reverie. "Alice?"

"Hm?" I looked up to see him watching me intently. "Oh... Hi, Suki."

"I wanted to show you..." He said, "I wanted to show you Totsuka Takeru's feelings."

I was stunned into a silence. My mouth hung open in a noiseless astonishment. I stared at him like that for some time, but then in embarrassment looked away. I had been treating his brother with so much indifference for all this time. I hadn't thought about how Tsukiyomi might feel about it.

"I wanted to let you know," He continued, "why he behaves in the way he does... So you can act accordingly."

"...It was very personal information you let out there." I mumbled quietly, fidgeting under his stare. I still did not want to look at his face. I was too ashamed. _I'm such a bad friend._

"I trust you with it, Alice." Reflexively, my eyes found his. I couldn't not look away now. Those few words and the meaning behind them... They made my heart wrench.

After a moment, I smiled. "You're a good brother, you know that?" And as an afterthought I added sheepishly, "And a good friend."

Tsukiyomi smiled slightly and I had to stop and rub my eyes to make sure they weren't deceiving me. I was grinning now, positively glowing. I had always struggled to keep my emotions under lock and key. But I don't think that's a bad thing. It makes me feel good, and I think that maybe, just maybe, it helps those around me feel good too.

"Suki, I've been wondering..." Since we were opening up to each other, why not delve a little deeper? "Why do you call me just Alice when you call everyone else by their first and last name?"

"That is how you introduced yourself to me the first time we talked. You said 'Hey, hey. Tsukiyomi, my main man. It's me, Alice.' I'm respecting your wishes."

"Oh, wow. That's quite the memory you've got there." I paused and scratched my head thoughtfully. "I guess that did happen. You're right. I'm glad you remembered it, Suki."

He spared one more kind glance for me before standing, his expression falling back to vacant. "We should go. Kusanagi Yui will be confronting Zeus Keraunos soon."

"How do you know that?" I asked in wonder.

"Intuition."

* * *

_Awww. I really liked this chapter. Tsukiyomi is such a good character._

_Well, this is a quick update for you when really I should be doing coursework. Oh well._


	23. Tourism 23

**Tourism 23: If you want to bond, whip out your chocolate raisins. **

* * *

Get this! Yui had finally burst forth like a tidal wave of awesome and verbally shat all over Zeus. She totally stood up to Zeus and saved Susanoo from expulsion all in one go. I gave her the biggest high-five after. I was so proud of my coy little Yui. Though it did turn out that getting Yui to have a go at him like that was all part of Zeus' plan- a good one I say, for any plan that involves shouting at Zeus must be a good one.

Everyone was in high spirits after Yui confronted Zeus. The gods and we two humans practically came skipping out of Zeus' 'throne room', babbling with uncontrollable glee. I will admit that the joy didn't come so much from the fact that Susanoo was here for good and more from other factors such as Yui's outburst, Tsukiyomi's opening up, me elbowing Loki in the gut... However, the joy was infectious and it definitely wasn't a bad thing that Susanoo's fate was statue free. In fact, I made the first move to friendship. I gave him one of my BBQ Pringles. Now, listen here, that is something momentous. I don't just give out BBQ flavoured Pringles willy-nilly. I don't think Susanoo had quite grasped how major that transaction was but it was enough that he spared me the time to thank me for it. We even exchanged a small smile. Pretty good, huh? I was feeling like less of a dick already.

Tsukiyomi saw me give him a Pringle as well. I think he must have understood the Pringle giving importance. After all, he had witnessed me clubbing Thor over the back of the head when he tried to take one of mine in the third week. He knew I had no beef with Thor. Thor had never done anything to upset me (except for Pringle snatching I guess).

It was some weeks later now, and Tsukiyomi had suddenly become rather distant. He had been put in charge of a moon-viewing ceremony or something of the sought. I didn't know such a thing existed. Well, I'm English so the only moon viewing I'd ever done was when my uncle got properly pissed down the pub and ended up pulling down his pants and giving my entire extended family a moon-viewing ceremony of their own. Our customs may seem strange but it's a traditional ceremony of course. Almost a rite of passage if you will. That is, a rite of passage to becoming the laughingstock of your relations.

Anyway, back to Tsukiyomi and away from my uncles bare chapped cheeks... He had become so busy with his preparations, becoming fully absorbed in it. He never seemed to be around at lunch anymore, I had heard Susanoo complaining about how late he was staying up as he always needed the light on and he never came to find me anymore. He used to just pop up at random times during the day and it would always leave me in a state of cheerful surprise. But once he started working on the moon-viewing I had to scour the entire school just in time to say a quick goodnight before I hit the sack. Yes, it took that long to find him sometimes.

After a tortuously long day with almost nobody to talk to as they were all busy with their own business, I decided I would really make an attempt to spend a bit more time with Suki and even help him with a bit of his preparations if he would accept. So I made my way to his room, still saddened by my lack of company that day- except for Loki. The lazy sod hadn't anything to do either, so of course, in boredom, the two of us were drawn together like magnets. Though even our usual head butting had seemed off somehow. I suppose neither of us were in the mood for wit battles today, or should I say one-sided wit slaughter. If my words were knives Loki would have been castrated a long time ago.

I found myself outside of Tsukiyomi's door that night, rapping away until he answered. He invited me in of course, but he seemed like he would have rather if I had not be there. That had left me feeling a bit dejected but I sprang back quickly enough and offered up my services to him (making sure to mention my past history of extraordinary papier-mâché skills). It turned out he didn't need any help though. Luckily for me, he said I could stay if I wanted. Naturally I replied with a yes. I ended up sitting on Tsukiyomi's bed, a pot of chocolate coated raisins in hand. I know! The shop had chocolate coated raisins! Surprising, right? Though I probably should have been more surprised about the Pringles I had been feasting on for the entire year. But what should be the most surprising is the fact that I was somehow sharing this bowl of chocolate coated raisins with Susanoo of all people.

The sea god sat with his legs crossed right next to me on Tsukiyomi's bed. We watched Suki work, taking turns on grabbing handfuls of raisins out of the bowl. "Why are your rooms so big? Do all the gods get rooms this big?"

"Yeah," Susanoo said uninterestedly, gazing off gormlessly at some empty corner of the oriental styled room.

I snorted resentfully. "Discrimination." I declared before beginning to stuff my mouth full with raisins, in a slightly fiercer manner than the manner in which I had been eating them in just moments ago. _It's just like Zeus to stick us in an itsy-bitsy room when everyone else is living in the lap of luxury. _Although Yui and I did have a rather nice room, it was a bit of a git move to put us in one not equally as nice as the gods' rooms. They all had giant baths for god's sake!

Susanoo removed his eyes from whatever pointless part of the room he had been staring at and instead looked at me. "Why? Is your room smaller?"

"Yes," I replied somewhat condescendingly. I was using the 'Duh!' tone on him. "Mine and Yui's room is way smaller! Haven't you seen it?"

"Of course I haven't seen it!" Susanoo rallied, seemingly indignant I suggest something of the sort. What was he? Twelve? There's nothing wrong with going in a girl's room. There's only anything wrong if you go in with lewd intention, and the same could most certainly be said when genders are reversed.

I eyed Susanoo slyly now, popping a raisin in to my mouth thoughtfully before I spoke again. "My, my... You got a little bit heated about that."

"I did not!" He argued, slamming his fist down onto the mattress. He almost knocked over my snack bowl. If any of my god damn raisins were to spill... There would be hell to pay.

I smoothly righted the bowl and carefully settled it into my lap (there was no way I was going to leave it between us now). I was scowling faintly due to the near catastrophe, but I was able to recover my dastardly grin and continued, "It's obvious you like Yui."

His response was even more ardently fierce this time. He leapt of the bed and shouted recycled words at me, fists clenched. "I do not!"

I hummed knowingly, not looking at Susanoo and instead choosing to stare smugly at my raisin bowl. "Tell that to me once you stop making doe eyes at her all lunchtime."

"Doe eyes?" Susanoo spluttered furiously. _Oh dear... _He looked quite angry. I had been trying, honest. I wanted to be good to him, if not for his or my sake, then for Suki's. My uncontrollable mouth was causing me particular trouble today it appeared.

"Excuse me? Totsuka Takeru?" Tsukiyomi leaned back from his work covered desk to look his brother. "Can you please keep the noise down? You're being rather loud."

Susanoo seemed to deflate on the spot- like a balloon, or a bouncy castle, or maybe a blow-up doll. I fell into a fit of silent giggles as I watched him get an indistinct scolding from the moon god and subsequently lose his umbrage, limbs slackening and lips unconsciously forming a grouchy pout.

Still mutely cracking up, I grinned at Susanoo and patted the bed. "Sit down, Sonic. Come cool off." I choked out in-between my hysterics.

Sullenly, Susanoo threw himself onto to the bed, muttering as he sat with arms folded across his chest. "What the hell is a Sonic?"

"I can tell you about that." I said, "I can also tell you how to look better than Balder and Apollon in Yui's eyes. They're pretty obsessed with her too, you know."

"WHAT?" Susanoo's outburst was all it took for me to fall back into my frenzied fits of laughter.

The evening passed in a similar fashion- amicably for me, not so much for Susanoo. It was some hours later and my raisin pot had long been depleted and Susanoo and I were starting to yawn. I got up and stood by Tsukiyomi. He was still working.

"I should probably get going." I said, yawning into the back of my hand, as I watched Suki continue to diligently scribble across his plans. "Aren't you gonna wind down too?"

"Soon." He replied distractedly, "I just have a bit more to do."

"Hm. Alright," I was much too tired to argue. "Just make sure you go to bed soon. See you by the gates tomorrow at the normal time, yeah?"

"I won't be able to make it for our usual time."

"Huh?" That woke me up well enough. "Why? Why not?" I asked.

"I will be there much earlier tomorrow. Five o'clock precisely. I have a job to do." He answered. He was still writing...

My brow scrunched up in confusion. _Whatever can he be planning? _I didn't spare much thought for it then. Instead, I smiled blithely and patted Suki's lilac head. "I'll be there then." I hadn't managed to help him tonight but maybe I could help him tomorrow morning.

I left their room in a rather sleepy state, calling out to Susanoo as I left. He barely grumbled a reply, having already fallen face first into his bed. It must have been well past midnight. _Now I have to get up really early tomorrow..._ I nearly groaned at the thought of it. I would do this though! For friendship! For the squad!

I stumbled into my room, hardly awake, fixed an alarm on the our shared clock and flopped into my lovely IKEA bed, settling myself down for a rather short rest.

* * *

_Whoop, whoop! I must be on some kind of writing roll here. And it's not even based off any of the scenes in the show! So proud. I'm gonna go buy myself a number 1 writer's mug, wrap it, and then open it and act surprised._


	24. Tourism 24

**Tourism 24: Early starts are to be expected on busy vacations.**

* * *

"Roll up, roll up!" I hollered through cupped hands. "And no, I'm not talking about your skirts ladies." I added upon seeing one spirit students beginning to roll over the waistband of her skirt.

When Tsukiyomi had told me he had some early morning work to do the night before I hadn't imagined for one moment that he meant standing at the school entrance until the students started to show up- which would be a good few hours after we got there! When I first got there and Tsukiyomi told me he was planning to do a random spot check (not random, thoroughly scheduled!) I felt like flopping over onto the stone hard concrete and knocking myself back to sleep right there and then. I got up at five in the morning to make sure no one was indecent? Don't get me wrong, that was completely the right job for me. Just not at five in the morning. Nobody was going to be there for ages which of course meant a lengthy wait. I was lucky I had brought my thermos flask along with me. That hot chocolate was the only thing that got me through the morning.

The first hour of waiting was the worst. That was when I was so un-awake I might as well have been a zombie. Once I got through that hell though I finally perked up and was starting to look forward to the job. I stayed peppy through exercise- star jumps, vaulting bushes, trying out some hardcore parkour skills across school property. Surprisingly Suki didn't tell me off, unsurprisingly I ended up falling off a railing and scratching up my knees. It was lucky Tsukiyomi had plasters. He always prepared for every eventuality.

So now, it was my moment. I had waited and now the time had finally come. It was time to help the school's new disciplinary officer crack down on some ass. Figuratively.

I stood in front of the doors, hands resolutely placed on my hips, yelling at anyone who stepped out of line, while Suki made his way around the students. This is how I wanted it to be. This is how my squad would work. We could always drag each other into crazy business, no questions asked. We were almost like a mafia family. I would make such a great Godfather.

Beyond the masses of spirit students I saw some familiar faces approaching, some confused, some looking unruly. With haste, not before giving a death glare to the students around the school door, I made my way over to Dionysus and Loki with a scowl on my face, just in time to hear the fertility god say, "Does that mean we get the day off? Lucky us!"

I kicked the back of his shin. Dionysus crumbled and hugged his leg, almost whimpering in pain. Loki seemed to be quite happy he wasn't the one on the receiving end of my brutality for once. He was laughing madly at his fellow god. "Don't worry Loki, I've got plenty where that came from." That shut him up quickly enough.

Somewhere nearby Tsukiyomi was talking to Balder and Yui, but my attention was focused on the god still curled up at my feet. I looked down at him coolly. "You will be going to school, Dionysus. But first you will have your uniform checked and have all contraband taken. And I already know about the alcohol you bring into school. Don't pull that face at me Dionysus. Hand it over."

_Mini wine flagon- check._

That was one more illegal item to put in the illicit goods bag. I walked over to Tsukiyomi, smugly holding aloft the alcohol, just in time to see him put Hades' rice cakes into the bag. I took the bag from him, smiling, "Let me just take that for a moment. Got to put away the wine..."

Surreptitiously, I sneaked the cakes back out of the bag and handed them back to Hades. "Here's a little piece from my ventures. You lay low with that, huh." _So mafia-like..._

"Sorry," I heard a devious drawl behind me. I knew that voice. "I don't carry a bag." I knew it was Loki before I even turned around. I ran over quickly. I wasn't missing out on this search.

"No, you are also carrying prohibited items." Tsukiyomi replied and I grinned, tugging on his sleeve.

"Oooh! Let me do this one!" I said in delight. _This was going to be fun._

Suki nodded in consent and watched as I appraised Loki. "Going to pat me down, Alice?" Loki folded his arms and cocked his head in a puckish manner. He seemed to be daring me to pat him down. Maybe he wanted me to pat him down, _the dirty pervert. _Fortunately Suki had taught me a thing or two.

First, I responded with a smirk. I waited a moment (for dramatic effect) and then spoke. "By the wrinkles in your clothing- there, there and there-" I pointed to various locations across his body, "I can tell where your hiding the goods."

I almost felt like Luke from the Professor Layton games. _Very good Luke, _my inner professor chimed. Now my real life professor spoke, while Loki grudgingly removed all sorts of stuff from the folds in his clothes. Tsukiyomi leaned down and whispered something spectacularly amusing into my ear, something that caused my lips to curl into a feline grin.

"Loki?" I called with cheer, "That bump there isn't just your crotch. Take the yoyo out now."

Now Loki looked even more affronted. As soon as he had stuck a hand down his pants to grab the toy, he threw it down onto the floor and stormed away.

_Wind up Loki until he runs off in defeat- check._

Well, that was the enjoyment checklist for my day complete. I would be happy for the rest of the day now. Or so I thought...

Tsukiyomi had just been reprimanded by Yui's love-love followers after he tried to measure her skirt, a skirt which was incredibly short in Suki's defence. Although admittedly grabbing a girl's skirt without permission isn't really the most decorous thing to do. It was best to drill it out of him early on- like when a puppy pees on the carpet. They don't know better, but you still have to tell them off.

He said he understood, a cause for us all to breathe a sigh of relief, but then he started to wobble, then sway, and then he was fully tipping over.

"Suki!"

* * *

_Another chapter!_


	25. Tourism 25

**Tourism 25: Tacky souvenirs are the bane of humanity. **

* * *

Yui seemed very surprised to hear we had been standing outside since five o'clock that morning. Of course Tsukiyomi then explained that he was 'anticipating the unexpected'. That was such a Suki thing to say. Unfortunately for me, as well as Tsukiyomi receiving a berating for staying up late and then waking up so early, I was also told off for encouraging him. Yui was disappointed with me, Susanoo was angry at me, and then Thoth just had to come in and do some scolding too. _Coming in like he owns the place, calling Suki an imbecile, calling me a trouble maker... _Really? Me? A trouble maker? What on Earth had I done wrong? What had Tsukiyomi done wrong? All he did was show some devotion to the school- an unhealthy devotion, I will admit, but still a devotion!

Once Tsukiyomi was finally deemed rested enough, he was permitted to come back to class and join in with the pre-moon-viewing excitement, which was nullified somewhat by Tsukiyomi's recent dizzy spell. It was much alike the aftermath of my blackout in that respect. It was going to be a good day, I was sure of it, but Tsukiyomi had suddenly become very pensive. He had been troubled by Thoth's words I suppose. What a piece of work he was! I would have found it hard to believe a teacher could tell a student off for getting hurt while carrying out a job delegated to them by the teacher themselves if we were back on Earth. I'm sure that equalled major lawsuits in that case. But because we were in a garden for gods with a harsh Egyptian bird-man as our tutor and an electrified git of the heavens as our headmaster then I could understand the wayward teaching methods somewhat. Not that I agreed with them. They could be worse than Mr Macklin, and that is saying something.

"I can't graduate..." Tsukiyomi said in a tone that I suppose I would call dejected, or maybe forlorn, possibly doleful. And yes, there is a difference- especially with Tsukiyomi. His expressions are so miniscule that they must be analysed with the greatest of care. It wouldn't do me good to misread them.

Susanoo watched his brother in concern. "Brother..." He wanted to do something for his sibling, I knew- I had been there before. My younger brother George had once needed my help. School is a struggle for children, but I had never really got my head around that fact. I hadn't had a tough time at school, not really. I had the subjects I was good at and the ones I wasn't as good at. Then there was my painfully acute shyness. I thought that was as much struggling that came with school life. George had it much tougher than me, that's for sure. And when he needed me the most I wasn't there. I'm glad George was so independent, so wilful. He got through it on his own and that meant I owed it to him to get through my struggles on my own too. I guess you could call him my inspiration to get through my year in the garden in one- mentally wholesome- piece.

"It'll be alright. I'm sure there's a way." Yui's optimism often bewildered me, yet somehow cheered me up. I guess this is what people mean on the internet after a heated racism/sexism/ageism- (let's just say some kind of '-ism') - argument gets resolved and one special person decides to state that _their faith in humanity has been restored_.

Although Tsukiyomi didn't seem very motivated by Yui's words... "What am I doing wrong?" He asked. "Or is there something I'm lacking?" No, he was still very much disheartened. _Maybe nothing will break him out of this state. I wish somebody could do something to help..._ It was a plea of the silent kind. In the corner of my mind where my over active imagination is only just contained I saw images of a genie materialising and granting me the three wishes I needed to move Suki from glum and back to number one chum. That sort of stuff only happened in the movies though. What's that? Living with mythical gods in a school only happens in movies? To that I say shut your pie hole. This is as real as it gets. Like, Bear Grills real.

And although I say all these events are real, let's just pretend for the sake of my sanity, that the next thing to transpire is all part of some kind of collective hallucination, because I really did not like the genie the world decided to deliver to me._ They do always say be careful what you wish for._

"It must be love." Loki stood from his desk with a crafty grin.

"Love?" Tsukiyomi repeated, a flare of confusion crossing his face. It was a word not entirely familiar with him I suppose.

"Hey, Loki..." Thor gave his friend a warning message. Not enough of a warning message I say. _Do more than just say his name for God's sake!_ _Slap him, kiss him. Pull his pants down if you must- just stop this monstrosity from working his evil genie magic._

"How can I understand love then?" _Stop showing an interest Suki! He didn't earn the title trickster for planting daffodils!_

"I'm talking about romantic attachment, of course." He replied glibly, flashing us all an easy smile (though to me it was wavering on the line of nefarious). "Hold on..." He said, rummaging through his jacket pocket. "Where was it? Let's see..."

As Loki threw a trick candy, a strange cube and some other dubious items out of his clothing, I spared a moment to share a look with Susanoo (someone I was now oddly comfortable with) and muttered to him disparagingly, "What kind of barmy shite is he trying to pull off this time?"

Susanoo could only offer me an uneasy shrug in return before Loki found what he was looking for. "Ah, here it is. Ta-da! Lover's ring!"

"...You've got to be kidding me." I stared disdainfully at the small piece of jewellery he held aloft. I still didn't know quite what it was but I was already getting bad vibes.

"Just put these on." Loki quickly slipped the ring onto Tsukiyomi's finger and then turned on me, a fiendish glint to his eyes. Let me tell you now, I did not like it one bit.

I was halfway across the class room before he could take a step towards me, the hairs prickling on the back of my neck like a threatened cat ready to scratch. "Take that ring somewhere else, you gormless cock."

I was expecting Loki to scowl, to storm off in a strop. I'd already whittled him down today. I had already established the dominance needed to prove he could not meddle with me- at least not for today. Though Loki did not scowl, or frown, or mope. Loki smiled. "Hmm, you're right Alice. I'll take the ring elsewhere."

You can imagine my surprise when he turned around and put the ring on Yui's finger instead.

There was a soft red light. It reminded me of the glow of a red-light district, or a sensually lit burlesque club. It was a light of hoarded ardour and was unlike the blue glow that had brought me here, or the one that had erupted from Susanoo's shackle. It was not a light filled with a stark truth. This light was devious, yet somehow filled with great passion.

When the light dispersed the first thing every person in the room laid eyes upon was the two hands held together by small purple bands. There was a moment of stillness, seemingly where nobody could fully recognise what had just passed. Then, in a burst of shock, Yui exclaimed, "Wh-What is this? How did they do that?" She attempted pulling away from Tsukiyomi but her efforts were unsuccessful. "N-No way... They won't come apart!"

It was amazing how calm Tsukiyomi was about it really. I may have laughed... If it weren't for my annoyance with Loki that is.

The trickster god sniggered, showing no remorse at all as Tsukiyomi said, "Loki Laevatein, remove these at once."

He waved his hand about blithely, not before shooting me an impish leer, "No can do."

Now some of the other gods were recovering from the shock. Susanoo stepped forwards for his brother and Apollon for Yui. The moment they touched the hands of those who wore the lover's rings a sharp hiss of electrical energy filled the air. They staggered away in a haze. They appeared to have been the victim of an electric shock.

"Wait until I've finished talking," Loki drawled in mock reproach. There was a great deal of amusement in the Norse god's eyes. The tables had been turned it seemed, and not in a way I had expected. I was immune to Loki. I had thought there was nothing he could do to rile me up, to make my thoughts curdle. I was so wrong. All he had needed to do was go for my friends instead. He approached the desk I had fled to as he explained his prank, "Those are lover's rings. They're magic rings that keep any two people joined at all times, making them a couple instantly."

He stopped in front of me, savouring the moment of my absolute speechlessness, then span to face Yui as she spoke, "Joined at all times? No..." Yui reached down now, in an endeavour to remove the rings of her own volition. Alas, she met at the same fate as the last two who had tried. She fell backwards and poor Hades, my poor fellow squad member, got shocked just the same. And on it went, in a chain of electrical screams. The class was lit up in a mass of singed bodies. I was just glad I was far away enough to be safe from it.

Hades looked on at the carnage that lay in his wake. "I've brought misfortune."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Yui cried.

Balder gave Loki a fretful look. "Loki, take them off."

Loki seemed only too happy to answer with "Even if you ask me too, I can't. Once they're on not even I can't remove them. Not until they tacitly understand one another."

I had noticed at this point that over the year I had been developing an increasing dependence on violence to solve my problems. I would like to say it's the stress, but the truth is more likely that the gods brought out the worst in me. But really, can you blame me?

"Loki, you arse!" I bellowed, smashing a fist down onto his head in anger. I felt a surge of satisfaction as he yelped in pain and jumped quite far away from me. _And that's why you don't turn your back on Alice Roth._

As oppose to my anger, Balder's disapproval and Yui's alarm, Tsukiyomi was rather accepting. "Very well." He said and stood, hand outstretched to match Yui's. "This is the new mission given to me. I accept."

"What?!" Yui cried, and I may have acted in a similar fashion, that is, if it were not for the fact I knew Tsukiyomi well enough to be expecting that by now.

I wasn't expecting what he said next though. "By the way, what is a couple? I'm having difficulties understanding all this." How anyone could possible grow up without learning the meaning of couple was beyond me, even if he was a god that could often behave like a wooden plank.

"Then I'll teach you how to fall in love." The notion was so ludicrous. Teaching to love? Love could not be taught. Loki needed his head bashed back into place. I must have dislodged it when I gave his cranium a good wallop. "Start by going through the motions. Kiss her!"

_WHAT?! _ I stared at Loki, gobsmacked. _That is not how you teach love! That is teaching inappropriate social conduct. _Was Loki trying to undo all the lessons I had instilled into the gods over the course of the year.

Fortunately, Tsukiyomi didn't know what a kiss was. He had to ask, "What is a kiss?"

For a moment my mind flashed to the story of Peter Pan. _Should I cut in quickly and give him a thimble? Tell him it's a kiss? _Thinking logistically, where the hell was I going to get a thimble from?

Yui made an attempt to ward him away from the topic, although it didn't help that she's not the most forceful person. Loki interjected, clarifying the action with ill-behaved glee, "A kiss is how a couple communicates by pressing their lips together." _Oh, alright Mr Love Dictionary. Step back._

Do you know what Tsukiyomi was doing? Writing this down of course. For not a moment did he allow the passing of a single shred of knowledge. Even now, as his hand was joined to Yui's. It was either his downfall or what made him utterly superior above us all.

Yui was growing increasingly agitated, and for good reason, for within the next few seconds Tsukiyomi closed his note pad and said, "I understand. Kusanagi Yui, please kiss me."

It all happened far too quickly. I'm not even too sure what went down entirely. One moment, Yui was watching blankly as Tsukiyomi's lips drew near her own, and in the next moment I found myself leaping across the room with Susanoo, Apollon and Balder at my side, screeching in an uncontrollable panic to stop the kiss.

Earlier I had been lucky enough not to become a piece of fried meat. I was not so lucky this time.

I fell to the floor, my limbs like jelly, in a crumpled mass next to the three other gods. Susanoo, Apollon and Balder were up quick enough, shouting complaints at Loki, but I remained on the floor, sour faced and charred. I was giving myself a moment to reflect. It was a moment devoted to the insane panic that had filled my system before the impending kiss. _Why would...? Propriety freak_, my brain amended soon enough. That answer would do well enough for now.

* * *

_I believe a lot of you are quite fond of our little Suki so it should be a nice chunk of chapters for you yet. _

_You know, I'm steadily feeling a more serious vibe creeping into this fic, which is what I intended but... Ah, well, its almost like watching a baby growing up. Sad, but also happy._


	26. Tourism 26

**Tourism 26: A holiday is not a holiday without someone to share it with.**

* * *

Somehow I got dragged along for a spy outing.

I was crouched in a bush (and here is the moment when I contemplate how often I had been doing this in the past few months) with my god classmates surrounding me, who were also submerged in the leafy flora. We were 'scouting out the parameters of the dynamics of Yui and Tsukiyomi's relationship while connected by the lover's ring' I suppose I would call it if this were an authenticated spy mission. However, authenticated spy missions only took place when the fabulous case-cracking duo of Suki and Alice were united. Now...This was odd. I was watching my detective assistant instead of working with him. It felt wrong. Did Scooby spy on Shaggy? Did Kay spy on Jay? Did Inspector Gadget spy on Penny?

_...Hm. Sounds dodgy._

Susanoo had managed to convince me that this was a good idea. After what he had seen earlier with Yui and Tsukiyomi falling all over each other in class he had practically begged me to come along. I was beginning to regret our bonding session the other night. He was clinging on to me like a little mollusc now. _Heh, heh. Molluscs are sea creatures. Susanoo is a god of the sea. _

_Oh dear, what an awful pun._

Well, now I was squished between him and Loki, watching Yui watch Tsukiyomi hammer benches together- poorly. Hurrah, hurrah for that... I hope I'm making my sarcasm obvious enough for you.

Honestly, all I wanted to do was go kip in my room until the moon-viewing later. I was still tired from my early waking that morning and I had no desire to stay and watch Suki desperately fulfil some stereotypical man checklist in order to get Yui to like him. In fact, I really didn't want to see this. Loki had influenced him into being someone else, a _someone _who didn't care about spending time with me. I probably should have predicted this. Do you remember when I said Tsukiyomi reminded me of some of old friends back home? Well, if you don't, I'm reminding you now. This here, this behaviour Tsukiyomi was exhibiting... It was something I had seen before.

Wendy had been her name. A sweet girl, a talented girl- but once she got something into her head it became an uncontrollable drive that wouldn't stop until she had exhausted the very idea. She would drop me for days at a time to learn a new skill, research a new topic, explore a new place. It was what I loved and commended her for, but also what let us drift apart in the end. I didn't want that happening with Tsukiyomi, but I've always been far too stubborn to stick my nose in where I believe it doesn't belong. I realise now that maybe, wherever my friends are involved it's almost certainly my business, and if they really don't want me there they'll tell me to piss off. Although, I hadn't quite had that epiphany yet.

Still, isn't spying on my friend from a bush as we waited anxiously, biting our nails, to see if Yui would actually be won over by this ridged masculine seduction technique (whether my presence was brought about by coercion or pure accident) still messing in Suki's business? Yep. Yep, I would say so. Most definitely.

...Why on Earth was I there?

"Hey, aren't they kinda close?" Apollon asked, staring anxiously at Yui and Tsukiyomi.

"I'll tell you who's close." I hissed furiously, "Me and you, Loki. Move already!"

"I was considering shuffling up earlier, but now that I know its causing you so much discomfort I think I'll stay just where I am." _Stay where I am my arse._ He moved even closer after that!

"Alice, that doesn't matter right now!" Apollon exclaimed and I couldn't help but gawk. _Did he want to be slapped? _Today was not my day. It seemed I was losing all control I had previously had over the idiot gods. I came to the sudden and terrifying realization that they no longer feared me. In hindsight, I should have seen this coming. It was surprising really that they hadn't stopped caring about my anger a long time ago. I mean, human vs. god (even if they are shackled). It's a no-brainer really, isn't it?

"Look." Apollon told me, pointing towards our ring wearing friends. "Are they growing closer?"

"Now, now... It's because of those rings. They can't help it." Balder was trying to settle him. Or...it looked more like he was trying to settle himself. He looked freaking edgy.

"Right..." Susanoo agreed, "It's because of those rings." But none of them sounded very sure about that.

"They're already so close." Loki simpered, sly eyes watching them, waiting for the reaction he baited. "They might as well kiss-"

"Loki!" Susanoo, Apollon and Balder protested and I frowned in disgruntlement. He was malicious today.

Behind me I heard Hades shift. He was talking with Thor and Dionysus. _Maybe I should go stand with them, _I thought, beginning to wriggle out from the god sandwich, but somebody caught my arm. Loki's grip around my arm was tight. I didn't say anything, not yet. I just waited, warning him with my eyes that whatever he did I would throw back at him tenfold. He smirked. Nobody appeared to care much for my warnings today.

As the other gods were in the midst of a heated argument over whether or not they thought Tsukiyomi and Yui would kiss, Loki leaned forwards. He was close enough for his breath to fan across my neck. "What about you, Alice?" He whispered, "Do you think they'll kiss?"

I narrowed my eyes at him, squirming slightly under the close proximity. "I don't know. Why should it matter what I think?" And as an afterthought I added, "What do _you_ think?"

Loki paused for a moment, in apparent deliberation; then his fingers tightened around my bicep. It hurt. "I think that you'll be upset if they do kiss. You spend a lot of time around that moon god, you know."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I demanded angrily, now attempting to yank my arm away from Loki. I'd had enough. I didn't want to be around him anymore. I brought it on myself, I know, but the way he got his revenge... He was nasty about it.

But before I could be the one to end the unpleasant interaction, Loki let go of me. He stood up and stretched, a lazy grin floating across his face like a summer's breeze. "Oh, it seems our classmates have gone. We should catch up. We wouldn't want to miss what happens next after all."

He left then, without another look at me, strolling away after Balder whose hair just fluttered behind an arch. I sat immobile for a moment. I felt like I had been tampered with in some way. Trounced, conquered, crushed. Overwhelmed...

"Just what have you gotten yourself into Alice?" I muttered, before also standing and, as much as my head said no, followed after Loki.

...

_Today is not good. Today is not good._

I was so angry, so upset. Was it just one of those days? The off day? It hadn't felt that way in the morning. Before dawn I had been prancing around the school entrance way with Tsukiyomi, tired but elated- fuelled by friendship one might say. Now, not so much... I was more so fuelled by fierce loathing as I dragged Hades and Susanoo to the school shop. I hated Loki so much in that instance that my head hurt.

We had shadowed Yui and Tsukiyomi all the way to the kitchens, where they made food together and ate together and talked. They had looked like they were having fun and Loki had made fun of me some more and Suki's rabbit had kicked me in the face because the blighter had never liked me and... I was jealous. Was it wrong for me to not want to see two of my friends interacting and bonding? To want to keep them separate? I am selfish. It's a trait I've always had and I do my best never to act on it, but it's always there, chomping away at my conscience. _The little bugger. _I couldn't help but see images of Yui and Tsukiyomi together, laughing, reading, maybe even scheming- the things Suki and I did. Then I saw myself alone.

To an extent I had Hades and Melissa, maybe even Susanoo now, but if Tsukiyomi were to find someone better to hang out with I truly would be left alone. Wendy had found a found a fellow piano player to be her friend. Well, initially friend, later boyfriend. Was I just seeing a repeat of my past?

_Please no. Please, please, please-_

It was like a mantra in my head as I marched down the school halls. Hades and Susanoo trailed after me. They were exchanging nervous glances. My distress was showing.

I slowed down my pace, took a deep breath and spoke, "I was thinking blue. Dark blue. What do you think?"

It was a moment before either replied. I think they were nervous to do so. "Blue sounds good." Hades said hesitantly.

"Yeah, blue is a nice colour." Susanoo was a bit more confident than Hades. He acted less like he was walking on egg shells around me. Though I suppose if he had been around when I had been feverish he might act more carefully around me too. Maybe Hades felt like he might set me off again. _It was one time. And I was ill! _"Although I might be being biased, seeing as I'm surrounded by blue sea most of the time."

They were here to help me pick out a yukata; Susanoo because he was Japanese (probably knowing a bit more about kimonos than myself) and Hades because I didn't trust Susanoo to make a sound decision where fashion was involved.

We got to the school shop and we all perused through what they had to offer, which was a lot (and bear in mind that when I say a lot I mean a department store sized stock of just kimonos in dark blue). Susanoo busied himself with telling me a load of pointless facts about traditional Japanese dress that I most probably would never need to use again in my lifetime but I listened anyway. I was making a conscious effort not to be rude to him, you see. Not after he had been so kind to me today. Though I suppose anyone would seem kind when compared to Loki.

I found out about the doura, the fuki, the obi, tea ceremonies, weddings, coming-of-age ceremonies, fine patterns, - Hades saved me soon enough. He handed me a yukata: midnight blue, a small golden dragon across the midsection, with a navy-black obi. Perhaps I hadn't needed to bring a Japanese god along after all.

I smiled gratefully at Hades and slipped behind the changing screen.

I changed quickly, not looking down at my bare skin. I was pretty much used to changing without looking by now but it was a rather exceptional challenge to put on a yukata without looking. I was messing it up quite badly, but I would just have to sort it out later. I was only trying it on for now.

I was nearly changed, ready to tie the garment around my waist, but I stopped as I heard Hades humming to himself over on the other side of the screen. It made me think... Humming was a habit of mine. Was it a habit of his? Was it the habit of a lonely person, to fill up the quiet with their own voice, because surely Hades was lonely, or at least _had _been lonely?

"Hades?" I called.

I heard the humming cut-off and then he replied. "Yes, Alice?"

I wasn't sure if I wanted to ask this. I knew very well I could get an answer I didn't like. But the words came tumbling from my mouth before I could stop them. "Do you think of me as your friend?"

He was surprised, I'm sure. From the silence that followed I could tell. I don't think Hades got many people asking him that. He responded eventually, voice hushed but certain. "...Yes."

I breathed out a shaky sigh of relief. I tied the sash around my waist. "I'm glad."

* * *

_I'm really beginning to feel tension. Like, literally every word I write is making me feel more tense about this story. Potential love interests, dark sub-plot, more of Alice's background. Its just all happening, isn't it?_

_Oh, and thanks for the reviews. Its nice to see some new people too. Hi there!_


	27. Tourism 27

**Tourism 27: Always take a first aid kit with you on trips. **

* * *

I was writing- itching for it- _have been for ages_\- the past few days- _craving it_\- I needed it. I had been scribbling in my new notebook all lesson, unable to stop, even when my hand began to cramp up. Thoth's voice had become a blur a long time ago. I had stopped paying what little attention I had to spare on him about five minutes into class. I suppose I must have looked like I was feverishly taking notes.

The need to document- to record, had been building gradually. Ever since my last camera had run out of film I had been on edge. Finding out that the school shop, the amazing 'apparently we sell everything' school shop, didn't have cameras was probably what pushed me over that edge. I didn't even notice when Thoth dismissed us. I just kept writing.

I probably would have stayed there for hours if Hades hadn't jolted me back into reality. When I heard him call my eyes jumped from the clustered journal page to his unremittingly dead-beat eyes- worn down by death, worn down by isolation. They took on a different light for certain occasions though. I had seen shrewdness there, exasperation, and my favourite thus far: concern. It always made me start a little when he looked at me in such a way, but then warmth would spread through me and I was sure to smile. I didn't smile today though.

I was sure I must have been staring at him like a panicked deer caught in the headlights, because he certainly had the expression of a driver who was about to run one over. He jumped to apologise, as he always did. "I'm sorry Alice. I startled you-I shouldn't have but- Well, it's the end of the lesson. I thought I should let you know."

I set down my pen and forced my face back to neutral. "I'm fine, honestly. There's nothing to be sorry for." He didn't look convinced, so I gave him a wry smile. "Now, if you had given me a heart attack that would be an entirely different situation. I would expect a statue of myself carved out of chocolate as an apology."

Hades looked just as alarmed as, a beat later, I did mortified. _A word of advice to you: Never bring up death related situations around the god of the Underworld._

"Making friends jump is all part of human companionship! It's bonding." I enthused, as not to linger on the topic of mortality for too long and to wipe any anxiousness from Hades' mind.

"But still..." He frowned, almost looking like he felt the need to elaborate further, which he most certainly didn't. He was welcome around me. He was my friend. We surely must have spent enough time around each other now for him to not be so diffident in our interactions. In fact, I had spent much more time around him in the past few days than I had anyone else. I'm sure he had noticed. Maybe that was why he was so concerned now.

Ever since the moon-viewing festival I had secluded myself, more than I normally did. I just wasn't speaking to people. Hades was the exception. Somehow, my stubborn awkward avoidance of others didn't include him. I remember how surprised he had been when I turned up to the courtyard steps at Lunch and asked to sit with him. I had always eaten my lunch in the classroom with Tsukiyomi before now- since the very first day of this school. _But now..._ I wasn't sure what had come over me.

I suppose I was giving up- socially, that is. _One bad day and you're done. What's happened to you, Alice? _ I wish I knew. I couldn't quite pinpoint the exact thing that had pushed me to seclusion, but I would like to say it was an accumulation of wayward emotions and remarks that had left me feeling pretty hollow after the moon-viewing day.

Maybe there was a part of me trying to test my and Tsukiyomi's friendship. _If he actively searches for me, talks to me, then he is my friend. _But what was he to me if he didn't, because he certainly hadn't so far. I had seen him glance at me a few times in class the day after the moon-viewing, in curious confusion, but after that... Nada. Zilch. I had expected- No, I had wanted him to seek me out and demand an explanation. I wanted him to make an effort. Tsukiyomi wasn't like that though. I knew he wasn't like that. The question then is why I was avoiding him so persistently? Believe me, it was difficult to stay away at times. I had caught myself times walking towards him on several occasions and then I had to awkwardly backpedal.

And while I waited to be approached by Tsukiyomi, it was all I could do to keep other people away. Apollon, the eternal happiness dispenser, cottoned on to my glumness very quickly. I think he must have an inner radar for that sort of stuff. Now everyday he was running after me, all smiles and waves. I was seriously considering bringing my pepper spray to class.

It was a surprise to see Susanoo take an interest in my new behaviour. Or maybe it wasn't... We had bonded over chocolate raisins after all. I rebuffed most of his conversation attempts though, at least while he was around Tsukiyomi, or anyone else for that matter. I didn't want people thinking they could talk to me all nolens volens.

Loki didn't care though. He tried talking to me as much as he wanted. He followed me around, with a constant nasty grin, poking fun at me while I just rushed onwards with my head down. I didn't have the spark that let me stand against him anymore. He had doused it, I believe.

_He scares me._

Yui was harder to evade than the rest. She was a constant presence in my routine. There when I woke up, there in class, and there when I went to sleep. I took to leaving our room early and returning late, often wandering around the school grounds for hours just to pass the time. It was upsetting her. She hadn't done anything wrong, nothing at all. It was silly of me to shun someone who only had kindness to give. Yet I had some sort of grudge against her, clearly. _She's not going to steal away your friendship with Tsukiyomi, Alice. Get over yourself. _That is, if I had any friendship to return to with him. I really was ruining everything I had built for myself in this garden. I won't pretend I knew what was going on in my head; I couldn't understand myself in the slightest._ I never have been able to... _

But I stuck with Hades. He was my friend- reliable, resourceful and relatable. He had faced stuff like this for a long time. And really, if you're going to be in isolation all the time, it's better to share the isolation with someone else.

I liked spending time around him. I think he liked spending time around me too.

He smiled more, you see. Like now for example, "Hm, I suppose your right. Making each other jump is a part of friendship."

I rolled my eyes good-naturedly. "Duh, of course I'm right."

"Maybe I should actually attempt to sneak up on you from time to time then."

I won't lie. My jaw dropped open. Hades was being a wry one today. I gaped at him, stupefied by a social interaction that seemed so alien when coming from Hades. He was smiling still, but it wasn't smug or playful. It was warm. Very, very warm. He was cracking out the cheeky mockery for my sake then. He had realized that humour was my coping method. _Oh wow._

My face split into a grin and I was laughing, not at Hades teasing, but at the sheer brilliance of that moment. "Hades, you sorry son of a gun." I chortled happily.

I don't think he quite understood why I had called him a sorry son of a gun, or what it actually meant, but he seemed to understand that I was feeling better so he did not question me. With a small jerk of the head he gestured to the fields beyond the window and forest. He was offering an afternoon walk? Yes, Hades did not always understand my actions, but he knew my feelings. A walk was just what I needed.

...

We walked the forest path, quite near the place Tsukiyomi and I had first ambushed Hades and got attacked by a rogue snake. Good times. It was easy to look back at memories such as this one with a fond remembrance. Being in a garden full of gods had seemed simpler then.

Beyond this path were the fields we knew to be between the beach and school. I remember how Yui had taken Melissa and I on a picnic here once- just the three of us. It had made a nice difference from the absurd amount of time I spent plotting with Tsukiyomi. She had said some calm time would do me good. And of course she had been right, although I wouldn't call our picnic a calm one.

I chatted with Hades- an easy thing now. Once it had been difficult to talk to him (or at least I made it difficult). After I had realised that I could simply spew words at him- just as I did with everyone else- and not have him run away, I found conversing so much simpler. Just talk. He would always respond.

"Hey Hades, ever heard of cherophobia?" I asked.

"Yes," He replied, eyes momentarily flitting to glance at me as they so often did when I asked something peculiar. _Most of the time then. _

"Well then," I said nonchalantly, "I guess you know that it means the fear of being too happy because 'something tragic' will happen."

"Are you trying to imply that I am cherophobic?"

I smiled deviously, "You do catch on quickly. And might I say you have been making great improvements as of recently."

Hades huffed slightly and turned on me with raised eyebrows. "How do you even know about cherophobia?"

"Ah, well," I scratched my cheek uneasily, feeling rather embarrassed now, "I was in the library looking for a way to best describe you. It's been bugging me for a while, you see. Thoth found me scanning over book after book. Scared the life out of him, I would say. He's never seen me in the library once in my whole time here. In fact, I wonder if anyone has actually gone in there, because damn. The look on his face was- Ooff!"

The next thing I knew I was sprawled across the ground with a mouthful of dirt. I had tripped, it seemed. Hades was quick to crouch by my side, fretting. Although he only spared a moment to look over me, for in the next he was standing again, scowling, "Loki." _Oh. _He was the reason for me falling then.

At the mention of his name, I quickly scrambled up, spitting soil to the tune of Loki's laughter. I didn't look at him, but instead carried on walking and hoped Hades would follow and Loki would decide he had better thing to do than harass me. It appeared Hades was not going to follow however. He stayed rooted to the spot, staring down Loki with a glare so harsh I was surprised Loki didn't just keel over there and then.

I backtracked, hobbling slightly, and tugged on Hades sleeve. "Let's go." I murmured to him.

Hades either ignored me or just didn't hear me, because he still wasn't moving. "Why do you continue to pester Alice?"

Loki placed a hand upon his chest and gasped dramatically. I couldn't tell if he was mocking us or being genuine. "Have you seen the amount of times Alice has been a nuisance to me? I would say some payback is well deserved."

"Alice may have teased you Loki, but she has never made you bleed," Hades told him, "You have made Alice bleed."

I looked down and was surprised to see, that in fact, I was bleeding. Blood slowly dribbled down my leg through the tights that had been severely ripped by my fall. Loki looked at my leg too but turned away just as fast. He crossed his arms stubbornly. "As I said, well deserved."

Just as Hades looked like he was going to argue further a man came crashing through the trees and fell in a similar fashion to myself. Although this particular person was far too used to falling. He righted himself without as much as a bruise.

"Loki," Balder cried gratefully, "There you are! I was wondering where you'd run off too. You shouldn't go off like that without..." He trailed off as he saw Hades, still glaring at Loki, and me, hovering to his side with a large cut across my knee. "Oh."

...

We were finally at the fields we had intended to reach, not quite in the manner I had expected to reach them, mind you. Hades sat several yards away, with his glower transfixed upon Loki who didn't seem to have the nerve to look away from the ground, where he tore up grass in an agitated fashion. I watched them both from where I perched, atop a small bolder with Balder worrying over my knee. He had enthused that it needed to be cleaned up straight away, volunteering to do the job himself. I had rather hoped if anyone would help me clean my cut it would be Hades, but it seemed he was worried about making the injury worse with his misery, so instead he opted for keeping an eye on Loki. Loki, for obvious reasons would not be allowed near my cut, not that he would want to help anyway.

"Where's Thor?" I asked Balder, as he pulled a packet of sanitary wipes from his pocket (and various other first aid products). _Well, lookie here at who's been raiding the school shop. _No doubt he had discovered that while in a human body, with clumsiness like his, it is always a good idea to have a steady supply of remedial items.

I hissed as Balder wiped the cut. It was much deeper than I had first realized. I must have slit it on a jagged rock. Balder gave a quick apology before answering, "Well, Thoth said he needed someone to help in the library so played a game of 'rock, paper, scissors'. As you can see, Thor lost. Although I'm pretty sure Loki cheated."

I made a noise of acknowledgment, satisfied with the answer and ready now to settle into silence, though it seemed Balder still wished to talk, as he said, "Has Yui said anything about me recently?"

He was watching me hopefully, all doe eyed and love stricken. It was such a strange look to see on a god. "No, I haven't talked to Yui recently." I told him bluntly.

"But you sleep in the same room as her," He said, "Alright then, what about when you last talked to her? What about then?"

"Nope, still nothing."

Balder groaned, lamenting. I sighed, not quite believing what I was about to say, and threw Balder a metaphorical lifeline. "She seems to enjoy your company though. If you want her to notice you more and become more familiar around you then you should just try spending more time around her. I'm sure she won't object." _She's far too nice to object._

Balder seemed to lighten then. He smiled and took my hands into his, enthusiastically shaking them. "Yes! You're right, you're right! I'll spend more time with her. You are very wise Alice."

I eyed him in disbelief, withdrawing my hands from his. "Hardly."

"Oh, but you are." Balder enthused, going back to cleaning my wound. "Although I don't quite approve of the way you and Loki interact, you don't turn him away. You know how to entertain him. He seems to enjoy spending time around you."

_Yeah, that's one way of putting it. He enjoys maiming me, obviously._

Balder continued, oblivious to my sceptical stare. "It's a dysfunctional friendship but still a friendship."

_Me? Loki? Friendship? _"Ha!" The laugh I let out was so loud both Hades and Loki jumped to look at me in surprise. I flushed in embarrassment and went back to watching Balder put some kind of antiseptic cream on my knee. "You think we're friends?" I whispered to him.

"Well, yes." He looked surprised I would ask. "You spend so much time around each other. I thought you just liked to argue."

Balder thought Loki and I were friends. Now that was an odd thought. I don't know how we had given off that impression. Had he seen how we acted around each other? Especially now. He was horrible towards me. He hated me, and I hated him.

I needed to rectify this. Balder couldn't go on thinking that we were friends. No doubt it would lead to an awkward situation one day.

I lowered my voice further, eyes shifting to make sure neither Hades nor Loki could hear. "I'm scared of him, Balder." I told him earnestly. "I used to tease him because I wasn't very fond of him, but now I'm genuinely frightened to be near him."

"What?" Balder looked as if he couldn't believe what I had said. I don't blame him. The brave, brash Alice- scared of someone, scared of Loki? It was bizarre for even me to think about. It was even more bizarre for me to be telling Balder this, who I thought of as one of the biggest idiots in the school. I hadn't even told Hades this (and for some reason I didn't want to).

"He scares me." I repeated. "Ever since the moon-viewing. Something has changed in his behaviour. He seems to really want to hurt me now. He-Its-The way he looks at me-"

"Alice," Balder interrupted, sounding the most meaningful I had ever heard him. "Loki's not like that. He would never ever hurt someone intentionally."

"But my leg!" I cried, "And on the moon-viewing-"

"He doesn't mean to hurt you. I expect he secretly feels sorry for hurting you." I scoffed and made to interrupt, but Balder held up a hand and continued, "But you have to realise that Loki's very driven by emotions, and he's been shunned a lot in his life. He's always looked for attention wherever he can find it, and obviously he's found it in you. You're interesting to him Alice, but he struggles with forming relationships."

I was suddenly getting flashbacks to the day Tsukiyomi had taken me aside to tell me about Susanoo. This conversation had guilt-trip vibes smothered all over it. And it was certainly doing its job. Deep down, in the depths of my heart I was feeling sympathy. For Loki, no less! I looked up to catch the fire god staring at my cut. His head turned so fast I'm surprised he didn't break his neck.

_Oh man..._ I couldn't deal with these emotions. How dare Balder turn my hate into compassion? It was way too much for me to handle. Why couldn't he have left me be? I would have rather carried on my life in fear of the prankster. _Woe is me._

Once Balder had slapped on a plaster, I was ready to go- fully patched up. I hopped off the rock and winced as I landed and a jolt of pain ran through me. It was likely to be bruised as well as cut. I tested my leg, bending my knee back and forth. I deemed it good to walk on, thanked Balder and then made my way forwards.

Hades stood, ready to leave, but I walked past him and approached Loki instead. I stood before him and it took a moment for him to realise I was there as he was so intent on pulling up grass. He jumped up, expression unsure of itself. _Glare, frown, smirk? _He didn't seem sure how to act.

I was twiddling my thumbs nervously. _How to put this? What to say?_ I sighed and reluctantly I spoke, "I forgive you for tripping me up Loki," The corner of his lips curled and he looked just about ready to snarl, so I carried on, shifting uncomfortably, "And I'm sorry... for all the teasing and stuff. I've been needlessly mean to you."

If it isn't very obvious to you, I'm not very good with apologies. I was not used to giving them- not when it counts at least. I'm far too stubborn. I hadn't even really expected myself to apologise. Neither had Loki it appeared.

To say Loki looked shocked would be an understatement. His jaw looked like it was going to fall off from the way he was gawking at me. I couldn't bear to imagine Hades and Balder's expressions.

Loki stuttered, raising a hand to point at me- almost as if that by pointing at me the situation could become more believable. "Y-You-why-how?"

I glowered at him, annoyed that he couldn't just accept my forgiveness and apology and get on with life. "Whatever. Don't let this convince you I won't poke fun at you in future."

I turned and began to leave, saying over my shoulder, "Sometimes you're just so much of a prick that my mockery is well deserved." And then I limped away the fastest I had ever limped in my life, with Hades following after me in utter bewilderment.

* * *

_I find it ironic that Jemstone asked me how I update so fast and then I don't update for nearly a month. Well, in answer to that (when I actually am updating quickly) I just type and type and type whatever pops into my head without thinking it over. Only when I finish a chapter in one sitting do I go back and edit._

_But to make up for the time not updating I now present to you a rather long chapter! *cue the ceremonial trumpets*_

_I'm hoping this chapter will keep you going for a while because I've got some serious exams coming up and I need to revise. So I'll be seeing you when I see you. I wish you all happy reading!_

_(Thank you for the support. I love all of your anonymous internet faces.)_


	28. Tourism 28

**Tourism 28: Wrap up warm in cold climates.**

* * *

On my back, I could see a mobile turning overhead- stars, moons and planets. They tinkled and glowed, and I stayed awake watching them. By my side I heard soft snoring, the sound of an old woman dozing. I wriggled and turned onto my side to see her. It was my Nan, as she was when I was young and when she was still alive. "Na-Na!"

_Ah! _I slapped my hands over my mouth in surprise. My voice- it was an infant's voice. My hands. I lifted them up, before my eyes, and saw small fragile fingers. Infant's hands!

I was a baby.

_What on earth... _A baby? A bloody baby. _Shit balls bint codger jizz face_\- "Na-Na!" My baby self called again, yet my Nan just kept on sleeping. _The deaf old granny._

Somewhere downstairs I heard a door close. I stood, tottering slightly on my unsteady legs and gripped my cot's barrier to steady myself. There was more noise now, voices and footsteps coming up the stairs. I stared at the gap of my half open door that allowed warm light to trickle in from the landing. Figures walked past. They seemed to be arguing.

"And where were you this time?" That sounded like my Dad, but younger, angrier. "Huh?"

"I've told you," _Mum? _"I got called into work. There was an emergency."

"At this time of night?"

"Yes, at this time of night. There was an accident at the lab."

"Bullshit." I had never heard Dad speak to Mum like this. I had never heard speak to anyone like this. "There's another man, isn't there. You're out with another man while I take care of your daughter."

"You act like she isn't your daughter too!" Mum was shouting now, as was Dad. I began to wail.

Nan woke up with a jolt and turned to me, bleary eyed. She took a moment to get her bearings, but then she heard the shouting and her lined face soured. "At it again. Oh little Alice, my son's a fool. I'll give him a smack around the head, and then maybe he will stop with this persistent paranoia." Nan leaned down and pressed a wet kiss to my forehead. I continued to cry noisily. "Stay here now Alice. Nanny will sort it out."

She hobbled off to the hall and closed the door behind her. Darkness fell over me and in an instant the infant's crying stopped.

_Oh Alice. Little Alice, sweet Alice, lovely Alice. Daddy is here..._

_And he doesn't love you._

...

I woke up in a panic, flailing in a snarl of sheets, with a familiar pair of red eyes burning in my mind's eye. My hands came to my face and I felt dampness there, like I had been crying. My hands were back to normal though; that was a relief. "I'm older again!"

That dream had been far too lucid. Everything had seemed so real- being a child again, my parents arguing, my Nan still being alive... But of course it hadn't been real. For one reason, it was a dream, and for another, my parents would never argue like that.

I was glad to be back in the waking world though. Never before had I been so happy to be seventeen. I couldn't help but cry out in joy.

Yui stirred in her sleep, shifting slightly in her bed. I quietened down straight away. I wouldn't want to wake her up yet. I still hadn't thought of a way to stop avoiding everyone without seeming awkward. I didn't even know if I was ready to stop avoiding everyone. _Why had I been trying to avoid everyone?_

My head was hurting too much for me to be thinking about any in depth questions. I was already beginning to forget my nightmare. _Maybe I still have some of my medicine left over from my fever. _I untangled myself from my bedding and padded over to the table- my first guess for where any remnants of my medicine may have been. But along the way I caught a sight in-between the gap in our curtains that had me squealing even louder than a moment ago. If Yui hadn't woken up before she was definitely awake now.

"Snow! Snow! It's snowed!" I exclaimed delightedly. One of my many joys in life was indeed snowfall. It even cancelled out any negative feelings I had towards Zeus for his fickle changes of season. Snow was a magic substance like that for me. Obviously not everyone back home shared that sentimentality. Mum always complained that it clogged up the roads. Dad liked it though; he... _Dad would always take me out sledging when it snowed._

"Alice..." Yui mumbled, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She sat up and peered through the dim morning light towards me. For a moment there was a silence between us, in which I think we were both remembering how little we had talked in the past few weeks.

I broke the silence, because I'm the selfish idiot who needed to fix her mistakes. "Yui, it's snowed!" And suddenly, everything between us was how it had been before. Its surprising how easily people will forgive you, no words needed, if you just try.

...

I had tried to convince Yui to come outside and play in the snow with me, but she politely declined saying she had been quite tired recently and needed to catch up with sleep. Maybe it wasn't as simple as I thought to bounce back into an easy friendship. _If I'm struggling with this, how am I going to talk to Tsukiyomi?_

Melissa hadn't wanted to come out either. Instead he chose to berate me, telling me I would catch my death out there, as I ran about gathering up woolly clothes. I left as soon as I had thrown them on in the bathroom, barely even remembering to shut our room door as I left in excitement.

As was every season in the garden, winter here was wonderful. _I tip my bobble hat to you Zeus. _The snow wasn't exactly deep, patchy at most, but it was still fresh and powdery. Just the right kind of snow for messing about in.

It was a good thing I had the foresight to go to the shop and get warm clothing. For weeks now I had been preparing for a change in season. I knew we were due a change. Zeus obviously got bored and then took his boredom out on the weather. _What a git._

I ran out of the school door and almost tripped over Hades. He was sat on the steps watching Loki and Thor build a snowman. _Loki..._ After my apology yesterday I wondered how he would treat me. _Probably the same as yesterday, the twat._

"Alright, it's done." Loki said, proudly looking over his creation. He looked way too pleased with something that was, in actual fact, just a lump of snow with a metal bucket on top. It was a bit lame really. I had seen way better snowmen in my days.

Behind him, Susanoo ran past on his usual morning jog, coughing and sneezing all over the place. I cringed. _Gross... He really does not stop for anything, does he? Not even snow._

But Susanoo's germy coughing had somehow caught Loki's interest, for now the Norse god was rolling up a lump of snow and hurling it at Susanoo. It hit the sea god square on the back of the head and he turned around, growling, as Loki said, "Sorry, sorry. My hand slipped."

"You bastard..." Susanoo snarled, now gathering up snow into his hands too. "Hey, Loki!"

The snowball Susanoo threw went straight past Loki, the fire god hardly even having to dodge. "You'll never hit me with those!" He taunted.

"Wait, you jerk!" Susanoo ran after him, yelling, throwing more snow.

Beside me Hades shifted and without looking at me said, "It's snowed quite a bit, Alice." _Oh. He knows I'm here. _I had been under the impression he hadn't noticed me. "Winter snowfall is snow joke."

It took me a moment to pick up his pun, and a moment longer to register him laughing at it. It was exactly the kind of thing I would do. Make a pun, laugh at the pun, no one else laughs with me... Maybe I was rubbing off on him.

I was about to join in with his quiet laughter, until he got hit by a speeding ball of snow. "Hades!" I cried, kneeling beside him to brush the snow off his clothes and face. I know how horrible it can be to be dragged into a snowball fight you didn't want to be in, especially when it goes down your top.

I brushed away as much snow as I could from Hades jacket and then looked up, scowling at the two perpetrators. Susanoo was nervously apologising under my angry glare, but Loki was staring gormlessly (he seemed to have only just noticed my presence).

"A-Alice," He stammered and then blanched. It was probably because he believed himself not to be the type who stammered. _How could the great Loki possibly stammer? Wanker. _He quickly righted his expression and voice, going back to his usual lazy grin. "Fancy taking a look at mine and Thor's amazing snowman?"

I stood still, arms folded over my chest, lips pursed. I didn't answer for a moment. I would let him wait. And then, just as he was about to get annoyed, I spoke, "Alright. I'll look."

A flicker of relief crossed over Loki's face. "Come on then."

"Why don't you help Hades clean up, Susanoo." It was less of a suggestion and more of a command. Susanoo almost looked like he would salute me as I passed. Maybe I should be quiet angry more often. It seemed to get more of an affect than my usual loud anger.

I approached Loki and Thor who stood beside the snowman. I stared at the white creature, unsmiling. "Its shit."

Thor didn't seem bothered by my comment. He simply watched me in a vague sort of interest. Loki, on the other hand, was a completely different story. "Hey!" He turned on me angrily, but the look I gave him quickly quelled any arguments he may have had.

"It's too bare." I told him, walking towards his snowman and unwinding the scarf from around my neck. I wrapped the accessory around the snowman's neck as I said, "Don't you guys know anything about building with snow?"

I was walking over to a nearby bush now, breaking off sticks I could use for arms. "Snowmen always need arms... And they always need buttons," I added some stones down the snowman's front. Then I took off my gloves, putting then on the ends of the sticks. "And gloves. I would suggest a carrot too, for the nose, but obviously you didn't come prepared enough for snowman building."

Loki didn't seem to know what to make of me. He stood staring at me, rather uncomfortable looking, without a word to say. Thor watched on, smiling slightly. He knew what I was doing.

_Kindness is a new kind of teasing apparently._

At first, I had realized Loki offering to show me his snowman was his own version of an apology, a peace treaty you could call it, and I decided to accept this offering. I would play nice too, to an extent. No doubt it would make Balder happy. However, as I saw the power I held over Loki after my previous admission of guilt, I saw a whole new type of enjoyment to be had. If I could reduce Loki to an unarticulated mess every time I showed him kindness, just imagine the fun I could have.

_This is going to be good._

"You're not going to say thank you then?" I asked.

Loki was snapped from his stupor by Thor, who elbowed him, prompting him to awkwardly thank me. "A-ah... Yeah. Thanks."

I grinned, relishing in the moment and then waved sweetly. "Bye-bye, you two. It's been fun. Remember what I said about building snowmen."

I skipped away from the Norse gods, humming cheerily, and as I left I could just about make out Loki saying, "I think she's been possessed."

* * *

_Ha, ha... Soooo... I said I wouldn't be updating for ages but then I got bored of revising (which is really bad). So now you have another chapter to read! _

_The comedy is slowly getting seeped from this story. Not gone- just less prevalent. But that is what I intended from the start because, believe it or not, there will be a climax to this story. And its a slow build to get to it, but we're getting there. I'm layering in all the hints and plot points that should make sense later on._

_And Getsunohimesama, you are one well informed person. Now that you started talking about the greek words and such I'm like "Oh yeah, that would make sense.". So I will probably go back and edit their conversation a little bit. I find it amazing how many english words are derived from other languages- especially latin, greek or french. There's so many!_


	29. Tourism 29

**Tourism 29: Foreign barbeque is the best kind of barbeque.**

* * *

I was pacing, because, really, what else is there to help you when you're in a dilemma but pacing? Pacing seems to help with everything. Why? I don't think anyone knows for sure. There's probably been scientists who have thoroughly studied the physiological reasons to why humans pace, but I'd bet money that they paced at least once while carrying out those studies. It's just a thing we do. Walking off your problems, putting your ideas in motion, stress relief... Whatever it did, as long as it felt like it was helping I would pace until my feet were sore.

I was currently roaming a hall, back and forth, on one of the upper levels of the school building, juggling a carrot in my hands. The earlier snowman debacle had been what had at first sparked this idea in my mind. I was going to brave talking to Tsukiyomi again. Why I had waited this long to talk to him, I didn't know. Why I had stopped talking to him at all I was still foggy on. I had just had this odd feeling- I tended to get it- when I got too close to people. I would make up excuses and reasons in my head for letting friendships drift, but as time would pass and I reflected on my rationale, everything suddenly became less... rational. I considered myself a rational person, when situations desperately required rational thought. But then... I'm not, am I? I say things before thinking, I'm spontaneous and brash. Not rational. I'm far from it.

You see, I want friends- close friends. I desperately want them, as most humans do. Yet, as I become increasingly familiar with someone I'll do a 180°. That's not rational. To want friends, but then to make up reasons for ditching them; it's completely illogical.

I was determined to be reasonable now though. Balder had told me I was wise; I was going to act like it.

"So, this carrot," I said aloud, my voice echoing in the empty hall, "I thought maybe Usamaro would like it because, well... he's a rabbit. And rabbits like carrots, right? I mean, I don't know if your rabbit has any particular preferences. He's a god's rabbit after all. Maybe he eats starlight and unicorn liver, I don't know. Okay, Unicorn liver, that's gross Alice. Forget I said that. I mean, if he doesn't want it, that's fine. And if you don't want to talk to me anymore, that's fine. But if you think this is a good idea then maybe you should give him the carrot, because, for some reason, Usamaro really doesn't like me. If fed him the carrot he'd probably gnaw my fingers off instead. So, what do you think Suk- Tsukiyomi! Yeah..."

I groaned. _Worst soliloquy of my life. _This wasn't going to cut it. How would I be able to start a conversation with Tsukiyomi if I couldn't even have an imaginary conversation with him? And the point of topic- feeding his rabbit a carrot? Simply god-awful.

I didn't have long time to lament over my lack of conversation skills, however, as a terrible rumbling filled the air. "What the-"

A crazed crowd of young men and women came running down the hall, screaming out the name of a very familiar, very clumsy god. _Fangirls! Fanboys! _I knew these types of people. I quickly dove out the way as they tore past. Never get in the way of a fan; they will tear you to shreds.

But if they were around, that meant Balder wasn't far off. And sure enough, I turned to see Balder engulfed by the crowd, and poor Yui pushed to the floor. In some ways I wanted to help, but I also valued my life. So, in the most safety conscious fashion, I remained a bystander to the mayhem.

I don't quite know how, but very soon, Yui and Balder were running off down the hall while the crowd kept on arguing. _I believe it's time for a little bit of eavesdropping. _I slinked past the fans, following on after Yui and Balder.

It was some distance away, but soon they stopped running- Yui out of breath and Balder looking pensive. Of course I was doubled over with a stitch behind a nearby corner. _Running... Not my forte._

"Let's just see how things go from here..." Yui said in relief.

And now, unexpectedly (though from Balder maybe it's not so unexpected), Balder took Yui's hands into his own, looking over her with an expression of the utmost concern. "Are you alright? Are you hurt?"

Yui was surprised, of course she was surprised, but she answered anyway. "Huh? I'm f-fine."

From worry to adoration, Balder's face changed in a blink of an eye. "Good..." He sighed gratefully. "If anything happens to you, I'll take responsibility for it." _He likes her that much, huh?_

"R-Right... Um, Balder, are you alright?"

In the beginning, I had thought maybe Apollon would be a good match for Yui. He cared for her, I could tell, and he had proved himself useful- an idiot but still useful. I would have supported a relationship between them because I was sure one day Apollon would surely pursue a romantic relationship with Yui. There were others who cared for Yui in that way, certainly. A good example being Susanoo- his affection for Yui was clear.

But now, the more I watched and listened to Balder and Yui's interactions, the more I thought they were well suited. It seemed like a calm caring relationship they had, and if it were to develop into something more I would have no qualms. Balder didn't annoy me half as much as he did when I first arrived in the garden- back when he didn't even notice my presence- and Yui would be looked after with him. He would protect her. I would question dating someone with hair longer than my own, but I doubted Yui would care. She's not at all narcissistic, that girl.

"I'm fine." Balder replied to Yui with such affection crossing over his features that I had to question how Yui hadn't realised his feelings for her. _So dense... _

"Oh," Yui exclaimed, "You can't get hurt, can you?" _What? ...can't get hurt?_

"Because my mother loved me so much, in order to protect me from death, she made agreements with all things in creation. That's why no one can hurt me. It was my mother's promise." _Well, that's news to me._ Up until that point, somehow I had remained oblivious to this fact. I later found out that everyone already knew this and then I felt rather stupid for not paying attention to earlier conversations. Apparently it had been brought up multiple times when I was around.

"Promise?" Yui repeated. She still seemed somewhat confused.

Balder suddenly looked rather sad. "Everything that might cause me harm avoids me."

"Argh-" A dreadful pain shot through my head. It was all I could do not to cry out anymore than I already had. I don't think Yui and Balder had heard me. They were too absorbed in their own conversation.

It was time for me to go. I couldn't stay listening to them with this migraine.

I stumbled slightly as I left, using the wall as support. My head was worse than it had been when I woke up this morning. I was almost on the point of passing out.

"Oi, that's a strange kind of walk." _Loki... _I was not ready to tease, be teased, or put up nice pretences right now. He was smirking, as per, and strolled towards me. He didn't seem to hold any ill wills, but as I said, I really wasn't up to dealing with this right now. "Are you practicing a new kind of dance?"

It was a struggle to keep my gaze on him. I was seeing doubles. "Piss off, Loki." I said through gritted teeth.

"Back to normal now, are we? You just weren't yourself earlier, Alice." Loki was entertained by this? _What a prick. _Although maybe he hadn't noticed that I was in pain. It takes an idiot to do that.

"Carry on down the hall and you'll find Balder and Yui." I told him, finding it to be an exertion to even shoo him away. "Go. Go have fun with them."

Loki frowned, put out. "Fine. Maybe I-"

At this point I couldn't stay standing any longer. Even the wall I had been leaning against couldn't keep me propped up. I slid down to the floor, panting, eyes screwed shut and feeling like my head was going to explode.

"H-hey," I heard Loki say, suddenly sounding more anxious than his usual devious self. "Oi, Alice? What's wrong?" I heard a rustling of material, in which he must have crouched down beside me because now he was poking my side. "Oh, I see. You're trying to trick me. If you think you can out prank the king of pranksters then you've got another thing coming."

His voice was fading, my senses numbing. All I could feel was the pain in my head.

"Hey... Alice!"

And then there was nothing.

...

I woke up with an itchy face.

I barely bothered to open my eyes as I brushed my face with a lazy hand. When the itch on my face was gone, I took the time to look around, noting gratefully that the pain in my head had diminished quite a bit. I soon saw that I was sat under a large arching tree in the school gardens- a spot that was protected from the night's snowfall. I was not normally one for sleeping outside (for reasons such as bugs) but I would be lying if I said I wasn't comfy here. I wasn't even that cold. It was odd, as I was currently in just my school uniform and the temperature was hardly warm. It was winter. Zeus had made sure of that.

There was a crackling sound. _A fire? _Sure enough, there was a small campfire flickering away a few paces before me. _How did that get there? _I was still feeling rather groggy, as was usual for me when waking up. My mind was not yet in that cunning Alice-zone. I thought it wasn't a bad idea to rest a little bit more, while I was still sleepy. Unfortunately, it was in fact a very bad idea, because as I settled more comfortably in my position I realised I was nestled against something very warm and soft- or rather, someone.

"Loki!" I exclaimed, diving away from the god I had been previously snuggling against. He looked just as surprised to see me awake as I did to see him next to me when I woke up. "What the fuck?"

I was scrambling away from him across the twig strewn ground. He remained sat against the tree, wide eyed and hands held up almost as if he thought it would make the situation less incriminating. Yet he didn't seem to be able to find the words to explain himself, for he just sat there, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish.

I was calmer now, simply watching him remain stunned in mild amusement. He wasn't going to find the ability to speak any time soon, which was a shame because I would have rather liked to know exactly how I got there. I could put most of it together for myself, but for the little details and for the pleasure of watching Loki tell it, I wanted him to explain.

"Were you sleep molesting me?"

That was all it took to get him talking.

"No!" He cried indignantly, "I wasn't- You fainted! I had to do something. I couldn't just leave you there."

"That would be excessively cruel," I agreed, struggling to hold back a smirk, "Even for you, Loki."

He scowled, but made no move to throw an insult back at me. Instead, he continued to explain himself. "I tried to find someone, like Hades or Tsukiyomi, but they weren't around. So I brought you out here. I thought the fresh air would help..." He finished in a mumble, obviously finding it hard to admit his helpfulness towards me. We both struggled with that.

Maybe it really was time for a change.

I tried to smile at him, and I tried to make it genuine. No forms of mental torture, no false pretences, no fake kindness. This was me offering the olive branch of peace. "Thanks."

"It's nothing..." He didn't look at me as he said that. I think he was embarrassed. It was likely he hadn't had many people thank him before. I doubt his personality would usually allow for it.

"Well..." I wasn't really sure what to say now. I had found out what had happened, I had thanked him, there wasn't really much else to say. Normally I would fill up our conversation by poking fun at Loki, but I wasn't going to do that today. "I guess I should go lay down then. I still have some medicine left in my room so-"

"I'll walk you!" Loki said quickly, and visibly cringed. He was definitely not used to helping people. "In case you collapse again."

"Sure... Thank you."

...

And so, thus began a very uncomfortable walk in which Loki escorted me back to my room. We were both in a phase of not knowing how to interact. We had overwhelmed each other with unexpected geniality and our systems had shut down for a reboot because of it. It was hard to process and we both didn't know what to make of it. All we could do was march on, in an awkward silence, occasionally throwing glances in each other's direction (only to hurriedly look away when we made eye contact).

This carried on for a while, until we crossed paths with the very same people I had been spying on earlier.

"Come on, Yui. What shall we have for dinner today?" _Dinner? _This was interesting; Balder was leading Yui by the hand. _Taking her on a dinner date? _"Fried chicken? Or maybe ginger-fried pork?"

Beside me Loki stopped and his whole body turned rigid. I glanced at him curiously and saw that he was glaring at Balder and Yui, teeth clenched. He was angry. But why?

"Wait, Balder..." As soon as Yui began to speak, Loki took off, running forwards towards them. There was a sudden spring in his step there hadn't been before. His entire being radiated playfulness, when just moments before he had been awkwardly walking by my side. "Why did you say that?"

"Balder!" Loki yelled joyously- or seemingly joyously. There was something wrong here. I followed Loki, much more slowly than his approach to Balder and Yui. I wanted to give myself time to watch this play out. Loki wasn't acting right.

Loki crashed between the two, pushing them apart quite violently, yet he still laughed and grinned. He treated it all like one big joke. "Bam!" He exclaimed as the two went flying apart. "Where have you been, Balder?"

Balder was not pleased- no sir- not one bit. "Loki, be careful! Apologize to Yui!" The way he spoke to Loki was reminiscent of a reprimanding older brother. Not that I knew much about that. My brother was younger. I was the one who did most of the telling off.

In an out of place child-like manner Loki held his hands behind his back and rocked himself on the balls of his feet. "Okay..." He agreed and then turned on Yui, apologizing in the least meaningful way I had ever seen. "I'm sorry!"

"O-Oh... That's okay." Yui said.

Then Loki leaned in, sticking his tongue out, and out of Balder's notice he pulled a face at Yui. The poor thing didn't know what to make of it. "Hey, Balder, let's get dinner together."

I was beginning to understand. He was jealous. I was sure of it. He didn't want Yui around Balder. But even if Loki felt that way he couldn't be allowed to mess things up for these two. He should be happy that his friend had found another person to care for, not trying to separate them. I was damn well going to make sure Loki wouldn't get his way, even if I had promised myself I would be nice to him. Yui's happiness came first.

"Sorry Loki. I promised that, from now on, I'd have dinner with Yui every day." Balder said.

"Really? That's too bad. And I prepared your favourite barbeque, too..."

"Barbeque?" _Oh dear... _Balder was falling prey to Loki's trap. I would have to act quickly.

Now was my time to shine.

"Barbeque!" I came running forwards, and with an alarming amount of close proximity that I would usually not allow for, I latched onto Loki's side, mimicking his playful attitude. "I love barbeque!"

"Alice!" Balder, Yui and Loki were all surprised by my entry. Loki most of all. He looked practically aghast as I held onto his arm as I had seen many a flirtatious girl do at a party. Running may not be my forte but acting certainly was. I was going to win this battle.

"Barbeques are so fun!" I enthused, "And they taste fantastic."

Loki snapped out of his stupor just in time to glare at me, trying to pry me off, and say, "No, Alice. I was inviting _just_ Balder."

"Oh..." I pulled my best crestfallen expression, "I see. I guess I just thought- Well, I thought we were friends now. Sorry..."

I began walking away from them, as slowly as I could without seeming out of place, and was waiting...waiting...waiting...

"Alice!" _BAM! That's how you get things done._

Loki, Balder and Yui had called out to me- all three! They looked at each other, surprised they had all been so affected by my sadness, and each waiting for the other to continue.

Balder was the one to speak first. "Why don't we all have a barbeque together? Then we can all enjoy it."

I grinned. _Hook, line and sinker. _I span back to face them, expression falling back to a guise- though hopeful this time. "Really? We can all eat together?"

"Yeah, that's it. That's the way to go!" Balder was smiling now, actually quite enjoying the idea. It meant he got to be with Yui, have his favourite food, and keep me and Loki happy.

It was a win-win for him. And for me? It was the biggest win of them all.

_Suck on that, Loki!_

* * *

_I keep saying I'm not going to update and then I do! Just ignore anything I say. Be on guard for chapters- always._

_And I still find the sheer amount of positive reactions to this fic completely __bizarre. Not because I lack confidence in my work- certainly not. More because I've been waiting for the person who says that this isn't their cup of tea. I'm still waiting for you this-isn't-my-cup-of-tea-person..._

_I suppose if this story were to be separated into arcs, this would be the Loki arc. Tsukiyomi and Hades have already had their arcs- although that doesn't mean we won't be revisiting them as the main focus. Or maybe other people will be the main focus! And we still haven't had Alice's backstory yet. Its all too exciting! I want this fic to be finished because its such a struggle to know I have to keep all the plot points a secret still, but I know when this is finished I'll be super sad._

_And with all this random author's rambling, I bid you good day. Have a happy Easter!_


	30. Tourism 30

**Tourism 30: Do not allow foreign meats into your mouth.**

* * *

"Hooray!" Balder cried delightedly, peering over the sizzling meats on the barbeque.

_Hooray indeed._ Never before had I seen Balder so joyous. Was barbeque really so fantastic? Of course I have had my own summer's day, chance of drizzle, British barbeque, but never before had I had a barbeque cooked by Norse gods in the middle of winter. _How odd._

Loki carefully placed a well cooked, golden brown slice of meat onto Balder's waiting plate. "Eat up, Balder."

Balder wasted no time in stuffing the meat into his mouth, talking through a full mouth. "Thank you, Loki." I doubted Balder would normally be so crude, so instead I was lead to believe this could quite possibly be the greatest meat I would ever taste in my life. That is, if Loki stopped scowling at me and just let me have some.

I waited patiently, watching him dish out food for Thor next- a generous helping of pork drizzled in a strange amber liquid. Thor ate with almost as much gusto as Balder. Then he moved on to Yui's- a poor serving. All he gave her was a few slivers of singed vegetables. If that was what Yui got then I would surely be presented an even worse selection of food.

I picked up a plate. If he was going to give me a crappy dinner then I would watch him do it. I didn't want any funny vegetables on my platter.

Loki turned on me now and was surprised to see me holding up my plate to him. At first, he remained staring at me with a glower on his face. _Is he not going to give me anything?_

"I like your apron." I said, gesturing to the pink material hanging off his front. To this day I still don't know if I was being genuine or not.

He sighed and soon enough I had a big piece of meat being dropped onto my plate. By no means was it put there as gracefully as Balder and Thor had received theirs, but somehow I was a step above Yui in the pecking order. Maybe he was still trying to keep the peace we had formed. It was a welcome offering. _It could always be poisoned though Alice. _Wouldn't that be great fun?

I began to chew on the food, taking my time to taste the flavours in my mouth. _Hmmm...Ahhh...No. _I didn't like it. I looked up, cringing slightly, to see Loki watching me eagerly. _Oh. _My eyes widened. _Oh! _ He was trying to impress me- a new way to prove his superiority no doubt. I would normally criticise Loki, especially if what I slated was the truth, but when people are so openly proud of a skill I have never quite been able to tell them the truth. And naturally, because of that, I was now eating the meat with a forced smile on my face, humming appreciative noises every few moments. Loki seemed to swell happily. It was a nice sight to see I suppose, at the sacrifice of my taste buds that is.

Yui was sadly picking at the bite sized portion Loki had served her. _Poor thing, _I thought, as I so often thought. Yui had done nothing to warrant this behaviour from Loki, unlike me who had out rightly provoked him. If Loki couldn't handle that his friend was spending some time with someone else then shame on him. He was being selfish.

I was considering offering the remains of my meat to Yui, a practical and courteous way to dispose of the food. However, Balder beat me to it.

"Here, Yui," He said to my roommate, his chopsticks hovering by her mouth. "Open up."

"Huh? But..."

Balder wasn't taking no for an answer. He waved the meat by her lips, until finally she gave in and ate the food. The whole scene was oddly reminiscent of a parent feeding their child. _Here comes the aeroplane!_

"Is it good?" Balder asked.

Now quite happy, and obviously able to put Balder's strange inclinations out of her mind, Yui replied. "Y-Yes. Very." _Well, at least Yui likes it._

I was expecting Loki to once more glow with pride from the compliment, but instead he looked horrified. His barbeque tongs dropped to the floor, and he remained motionless, gaping at Yui and Balder. "B-Balder gave... he gave someone his meat?"

I let out a snort. Loki aimed a glare at me to which I could on respond amusedly, "Meat."

_Hey, can you blame me? I'm not exactly the most mature of people._

Loki's thunderous gaze swept back to Yui, where he raised an accusatory finger and demanded, "Hey, you! What have you done to Balder? Do Japanese gods have some weird power?!"

"I didn't do..." Yui began to protest but then realisation struck her. Hell, it struck me too."Wait, gods? Do you mean me?"

"Huh? What are you talking about? Who else could I be referring to? You're the only Japanese one out of us all."

Well I certainly hoped he wasn't referring to me as a god too. _Surely he couldn't have mistaken both me and Yui for goddesses. Maybe Yui, but come on, I've made so many brilliant human references to him now that he must have-_

"Uh, you're wrong..." Yui told him, as carefully as she could phrase it. "I'm not..."

"She's human." Balder cut in. No tact there then.

"Huh?" At first Loki's reaction was minor. He had the expression of someone who was sure their leg was being pulled. But as Balder told him once again, that Yui was in fact a human his expression became something much larger.

"What?"

"Yes... And Alice... She's a human too. If you didn't know..." Yui said gently, as I poked my head over her shoulder. I waved merrily at Loki who just stared at me, appalled.

"What?!" He yelled, "Human? These two?"

"You didn't know?" Yui asked him.

"Whether I knew isn't the point! What are humans doing here? Isn't this a place for gods to study humans?!"

"Ever heard of live specimens?" I said dryly.

"Alice! You shouldn't think of yourself like-" Yui began to reprimand me softly, but was soon drowned out by more of Loki's shouting.

"This isn't right! They shouldn't be-"

Balder, once again, took it upon himself to cut in, and told Loki rather candidly. "Yui's here to represent humanity. She's helping us properly understand humans. And Alice... I've heard she came here by chance."

"I'm on holiday." I chimed in happily. "An accidental tourist, per se.

"I don't believe this... Humans... I've been living with humans." _Wowee, he really isn't fond of humans. I guess that's all our bonding out the window then._

"Do you have to say it that way?" Yui asked him, rather indignant.

"I'd never had you cut out as a racist." I raised an eyebrow at Loki. "Or is mortalist a better word?"

"Don't even-!" He turned on me angrily, teeth bared and ready for a fight, but then he huffed and faced Thor instead, "Did you know about this?"

"Yeah." Thor replied simply, which did nothing to comfort Loki.

"No way! Why?" Loki demanded, clearly torn between feelings of anger and betrayal, "Am I the only one who didn't know? Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"Sorry..." Balder could only smile apologetically. "I never realized you didn't know."

Loki dropped to the floor, clutching his head. "This sucks. This seriously sucks. I can't believe a human, of all things, is Balder's... And you!" He said shrilly, leaping up, glaring at me. "You, a human, teasing and bullying me all this time-?

_Whoa. Hold up. He did not just say that. _

_That hypocritical son of a- _"You bullied me just as much!" I snapped. It was far too unjust of him to label me as the only bad guy in this situation.

"Shut up!" Loki hissed. "And give me back my food." In a sharp movement he reached out and snatched the plate of meat from my hands. He looked just about ready to smack me over the head with it. Yui was about to intervene, with that worried look she so often wore when people engaged in hostility, but Balder was quick to hold her back. The sight of their physical contact did nothing to quell Loki's rage.

He gave Yui and I one final glare before spinning on his heel and storming off, carrying the barbeque dish off with him.

"I didn't like your crappy cooking anyway!" I yelled after his retreating figure.

I think, in the distance, I heard a plate smash.

* * *

_Well, I'm not really feeling on form in writing this chapter but I wanted to keep the cogs in my brain moving. There's not as much Alice rambling in here as I would like. Luckily, I'll be able to give more attention to this story in two delicious Alice rambles are on their way._

_I've now seen my non-cups-of-tea people so I guess my life is complete. Ohhhh, you're all so lovely. I feel guilty for not replying to all your reviews individually but I just really don't have the time right now. But the future is just around the corner! I'm going to cross my fingers, and hope that maybe, just maybe, I'll be less busy soon. _


	31. Tourism 31

**Tourism 31: It's easy to get side-tracked on vacation.**

* * *

"You'll get a tubby belly if you keep on at this."

I wiped biscuit crumbs from the corner of my mouth, unabashed, and held my open palms out to the old woman. She watched me coolly, bony hands wrapped around the biscuit tin.

It didn't take long for her to give in. "Go on then." She yielded, handing me another piece of shortbread.

I was back with my Nan. It seemed to becoming a nightly thing. Every time I slept I would be presented with a scene from my past or a construction of my past at least, because I doubted my mind could bring together a memory so vivid and intricate. My imagination was on some kind of overdrive. What was with this sudden obsession with my childhood? I couldn't understand it.

Some nights the dreams were good. I would see normal things like being picked up from nursery, being bathed, playing with my mother. Other nights the dreams were not so sweet. My father would be a lurking figure in these dreams, present but not in the foreground. He would stumble about, cursing, weeping, aloof. He didn't interact with me.

But tonight was good. Tonight was sweet.

Nan gazed upon me fondly as I ate, laughing lightly. "Alice, I just don't see how he can't look at you the way I do."

_Who? _I stopped my gnawing on the shortbread and looked up at my Nan to give her a glassy stare. _What do you mean?_ I urged her mentally. _What are you talking about?_

And suddenly she almost looked like crying. "You can't grow up without a father Alice. He needs to look at you."

And we were back to this again. I didn't understand why my Dad was presented as an alienating character in my dreams. Was it some problem in my psyche? Did this hold some meaning? I couldn't work it out, and the worst part of it was that I knew I wouldn't be able to mull this over when I woke. These dreams were never quite so clear after I woke. They faded away to my subconscious, ready to be revisited the next night.

I felt hands wrap around my sides and I was drawn into Nan's lap. She breathed a sad sigh into my pale tufts of hair. "One day... Don't worry, my love. He'll look."

_One day. Don't worry. He will look._

_He will look through your eyes Alice._

_..._

I had woken up with a headache that morning, as I so often did since falling into the garden. I was used to them, so of course I didn't let it stop me. I had recently settled into a routine of opposing Loki whenever he tried to get in the way of Yui being around Balder. It was actually quite a bit of fun and surprisingly, Loki wasn't all that malicious around me. He just got exceedingly annoyed.

This everyday undertaking was almost a form of cock blocking... Almost.

In the halls, in class, in the midst of his 'going home club'- I made sure to tail him all over, just as he made sure to stalk Balder everywhere. I was going solo spy. Somewhere in my mind a little voice was chastising me and telling me I was only using this new self-allocated mission as an excuse to not brave talking to Tsukiyomi. I knew that little voice was right, but I chose to ignore it. It was just so much easier this way and I am one to take the easy way out when it comes to scary socialisation.

Besides, there was too much going on right now to try and pick up the pieces of a possibly broken friendship (one that I wasn't quite sure how I broke in the first place). I was busy stalking Loki, busy moping because of my headaches and far too busy organising the stall- which I had to do by myself- for the Christmas market. It was great to know I was the only one of British descent here and not allowed on the Norse god's stall because they classified themselves as Scandinavian. So I decided to work extra hard on my stall and prove to everyone I am superior even to these gods, and I was sure as heck going to claim my booth to be 'The Atheist Stall' when I was done. I find the name amusingly ironic.

My latest wandering was leading me to the school shop where I intended to grab a delightful assortment of commercialized Christmas gear from my stand, because that's what an atheist Christmas is all about. But on my way back to my room, arms loaded with newly acquired decorations and fancy dress, I stumbled across a person I only usually saw when stalking.

"Loki," I grinned merrily, bounding my way up to where he sat at the bottom of the school stairwell. "Not harassing Balder and Yui for once?"

I expected him to scowl at me, hiss, maybe throw a wayward comment in my direction, but instead he remained staring off into the distance, rather unresponsive. _That isn't normal._ I carefully settled myself down on the steps next to him, testing the waters before deciding whether to talk or not. He didn't say anything for a good minute after I sat down, so I took it as an all clear.

But I didn't even get the chance to initiate the conversation. Loki was the one to do that. "He said she's special." He said suddenly, surprising me.

At first I fumbled to find words to respond, still in a mild state of shock from the unexpected change of mood. It was very... _tense_. The question "Who?" was what I settled for in the end.

"Balder." Loki didn't even hesitate to answer, he was too angry to care. It was a different ire to usual though; this was a silent, simmering rage. "Balder says Yui is special."

"Oh," I blinked in surprise for a moment, "Well of course he would say that. He likes her."

In hindsight, it wasn't the best thing I could have said to him.

In a sudden ferocity, Loki began to shout, most likely provoked by me and my big mouth. "Is she special because she isn't drawn to him like most people are? Is she special because she is 'kind', 'sincere' and 'earnest' as he called her? Is she special because she's human? I don't understand because that sounds exactly like you Alice, and you're not the one he's fawning all over." Loki looked visibly pained, like just the thought of Balder and Yui together could hurt him. I sat frozen, alarmed. "What makes her so special? Dammit!"

Loki just kept on surprising me. So many odd things were flying out of his mouth; I could barely keep up. He had just labelled me as kind, sincere and earnest. You can't tell me that isn't surprising. At the very least it was surprising just because of the fact it came from Loki. To be honest, I wasn't quite sure if he fully registered what he was saying. In his rage his lips seemed a bit looser, a bit more willing to spill his secrets. I could have taken advantage of that, to prod and poke until he told me all sorts of fun little facts. It would make for good blackmail. But that wouldn't be right of me, would it? Even in rivalries there must be a certain sense of respect, especially in one such as ours that seemed to have turned into some form of companionship over the months spent harassing each other.

I sat in silence, mulling over what he said, and deliberating on the best way to respond without getting my head chewed off. "First off, I don't think I would call myself kind, sincere or earnest a good portion of the time, so you can check them off your list. Secondly, being a human or being a god shouldn't be a factor in bonding. In real attractions people tend to focus more on appearance and personality rather than status or power. So forget that too."

I shifted slightly, feeling awkward in offering wisdom to Loki. I was sensing the oncoming urge to announce "but that's only my opinion" to sedate any angry reactions I may receive at the end of my spiel.

Loki hadn't reacted visibly to anything I had said yet, apart from my mention of how Balder "likes" Yui. I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing, so I decided to keep on talking, deliberate and slow. "And you know, as much as I hate to say it, maybe I should be all over Balder. Maybe if this was any other normal day for me back on Earth and I saw him walk past I would turn into some kind of dog in season. A sex crazed ruffian whose only desire is to get in his holy pants. Who knows?"

I saw Loki frown in distaste. Maybe I could have phrased it a bit more eloquently.

"I've had some time to think about it, and it could be that I've been affected by the magic of this place, right? Like, maybe, that's the reason for me to not be affected by Balder's light charm thingy, and maybe that's why I keep getting headaches all the time. Humans weren't built for magic stuff, you know. I'm no Harry Potter."

I realised I was getting off point, somehow having delved into my own epiphanies during my ramble. I went back to the original question Loki had posed. "So, when comparing Yui to me- Well, you can't compare Yui to me. You can't compare anyone. Love works in mysterious ways, Loki. Everyone has their own rose-tinted glass to look through and everyone will see someone different when looking through the glass. Balder sees Yui and, in all honesty, I can only tell you that it's best not to question it."

Loki sat quietly for even longer than he had before. It was quite disconcerting to see him so still. "Humans never have anything useful to say." He grumbled finally, standing up.

"Hey!" I said indignantly as he began to walk away. I jumped up to follow him, but Christmas decorations began to fall from my arms and clatter to the floor. I huffed in annoyance, torn between running after Loki to make sure he did nothing stupid and collecting up my gear. Salvaging the Christmas stuff turned out to be the winning choice.

As I squatted, picking up a stray snowman ornament, I called after the Norse god who was near to disappearing down the hallway, "People do what people do, Loki. You shouldn't get in the way of it."

He turned the corner, showing no signs of response to what I said. But maybe he had a right to not listen. After all, I was being a massive hypocrite.

* * *

_Exams are done! Yahooo!_

_So I'm back and I bring you a chapter set after Balder and Loki had that talk in which Balder told Loki off for being so mean to Yui. Do we all remember that? Shit got intense. And we're all aware I'm following the anime version of events right? Not the visual novel. Good, good. Just thought I'd mention it._

_Thanks for the support! I'm going to be knocking up the story another few notches soon, so stick around for the mayhem._


	32. Tourism 32

**Tourism 32: When the country you visit is mad, it is hard not to become so too.**

* * *

After my botched attempt to quell Loki's inexplicable rage at Kusanagi Yui and my unsuccessful impartation of some much needed wisdom into his idiotic mind I was somewhat distracted. This was rather a shame; for you see, I found it decidedly hard to focus on my Christmas market stall when the trickster god kept popping into mind. The only thing I could do was throw myself into the task at hand and hope that, at some point in the evening, he would saunter his way out of my head and preferably into someone else's.

_Maybe if I wipe my hand on someone else the image of Loki will transfer over through the skin contact and I will no longer be plagued by his dumb face, _I though idly as I balanced on my stepladder, attempting to finish painting the words 'Atheist Stall' across the top of my booth. It was done in the colours of the Union Jack of course. I like to be patriotic when I can.

In correspondence to my musings, quite coincidentally, it was in that moment that Loki decided to come storming past. I swayed on my unsteady perch, watching him approach curiously. He looked angry, worse than earlier. Or maybe frustrated was a better description of it... Yes, that was it. Frustration.

"Hey Loki," I called, dearly hoping he was not still in the same mindset he had been in earlier- the kind that was sure to result in him doing something completely prat-like. From the look on his face however I could only conclude that he had already endeavoured to ruin someone's day and failed miserably. Maybe now he knew how I felt earlier when he didn't respond well to my intervention. "Come look at my atheist stall!"

He barely spared me a glance as he passed. He didn't even comment on the irony of my stall's name. You know, because I clearly knew gods existed now. Ironic much.

I felt rather indignant about his lack of interest. "Hey!" I called again, in the knowledge I was unlikely to get a response. _Nope. _I sighed. He was already marching off into the newly forming crowds of students setting up for the Christmas Market. "Bye then... Arsehole."

I went back to busying myself with my paintwork. The preparations for the Christmas Market were already in full swing so I would have to get this done quickly if I wanted it done in time for the opening of the market. A few more letters and I was done. I stepped down, folded up my ladder and took a moment to admire my painting skills. "Not too shabby Alice. Not too shabby."

"Alice!" A voice exclaimed happily from behind me.

In true Christmas fashion I screeched the name "Jesus Christ!" out into the cold evening air. I span around with an accusing look, already knowing the culprit of my scare. "What the hell, Apollon?"

"Hello, Alice." He greeted me warmly, which I could only reply to with a displeased glower. "I like your booth." He told me, looking up to my sign, squinting as he read aloud (not out of his inability to read, but more likely confusion), "...'Atheist Stall'?"

I knew none of these gods had an appreciation for irony. _What a waste of splendid humour._

"What happens at... the 'Atheist Stall'?" He asked me.

"The 'Atheist Stall' is an ingenious idea that represents the commercialized nature of Christmas in the modern day world and how its original religious meaning is so often forgotten. It's satirical." I told him, not really expecting him to get much of what I was saying. But I went for it anyway, much like a teacher braving to educate the dunce child who is very unlikely to learn. They do it only out of obligation, not expectation of the child to succeed.

"This," I gestured up at the gaudy looking decorations hanging from my stand, "captures how I celebrate most of my Christmases, and, to extension, a good deal of Great Britain nowadays. It's all a marketing gambit to help line businessmen's pockets, but that's why we love it."

"Yeah, but..." Apollon looked unsure how to phrase himself. Maybe he thought he would offend me. "What do you _actually_ do at your stand? Do you sell something?"

I smirked at this, an answer already prepared, and vaguely wondering in back of my mind how I was always able to speak with such fluidity and bravado. I had to commend myself for that. "I sell the experience, the splendour of a materialistic Christmas. And once you're in the mood I take you round the back," I beckoned Apollon, signalling for him to follow me behind the counter of my booth. He was a lot more nervous-looking about this than he normally was when responding to new experiences. Perhaps he was alarmed by my enthusiasm. I wasn't often so eager about things when around the sun god. He probably took it as a bad omen.

"And here's where the Christmas magic happens," I told him, arms spread wide as we looked upon my creation.

My stall had a slightly larger than average behind-the-counter area than most other stalls in the vicinity. This space was used for my immersive Christmas environment. Two small chairs were placed in the area, one surrounded by all things seasonal (for instance the fireplace background, or the glitzy stockings, or even the fake snow), and the other a few paces away- rather barren.

I dragged a large box of costumes towards Apollon, grinning madly. "Take your pick. I'll show you what I do."

And so it was, that a good ten minutes later of Apollon rummaging through amusing Christmas attire, we sat opposite each other. Apollon had donned a Santa hat a few sizes too big, an ashen beard, inflatable reindeer, and the expression of someone much more animated -far less apprehensive than the look he had worn before- and I roosted on my own chair with a sketchpad and pencil in hand.

"Alright, sun boy." I looked over Apollon with an almost wolfish smile, hands twitching through just the thought of drawing. It was surprising to see him stay so confident in appearance, the only sign of anxiety a subtle gulp. I know if I was confronted with myself in such a way I would not be half as happy looking. It only reconfirmed my judgment of the gods' brazen folly, specifically this one. "You want a pre-market picture then?"

"Yes please, Miss wonderland."

"Hey," I aimed him a sharp look, brandishing my pencil at him. "Where did that come from?"

I couldn't tell if the expression he was pulling was a ruse of obliviousness or if he actually didn't have a clue to what I was talking about. Though I hate to say it, it was most likely the latter.

"The nickname?!" I demanded.

"Oh," Apollon's eyes brightened in realisation as he adjusted the overly large Father Christmas hat on his head. He had to push it up to stop it falling down his face. "I thought since you had given me a nickname, I'd give you one."

_Not a nickname, a method of ridicule. _I began muttering grumpily to myself as I settled down to start drawing. He had a nickname for me? How dare he? Honestly! I should have given him a slap around the chops right there. I could barely put up with his odd nicknames for other people- _Fairy, De-de, Tsuki-Tsuki_\- so he could hardly think I'd be willing to accept some new pet name for myself. Oddly though, I couldn't quite find it in myself to hate having a moniker.

"So why Miss Wonderland then?" I asked in a grumble, "It doesn't happen to be related to Alice in Wonderland by any chance, does it?"

"How did you know? You've read the book?" How on Earth Apollon could be so shocked about that fact I did not know. _Idiot god._

"You don't just skip over a book with your name on the front cover- especially when it's a classic." I told him, inadvertently smiling despite my previous grouchiness. All of the god's pull the best awe-struck expressions. It was only right to find some kind of hilarity in them.

"A classic? In human literature? Oh... I saw your name on a book in the library, so I just picked it up and started to read. It was a pretty good story. Although the bit with the caterpillar smoking a pipe seemed a bit strange."

_And that's coming from a god who rides a Pegasus around the school every evening. _"So you think I'm like Alice? You could have been more creative rather than just picking something because I share a name with it." I observed him curiously, not only because of my need to complete the sketch but also to see his face as he responded. Maybe his choice to call me Miss Wonderland was profound... Maybe.

"No! Well... Maybe a little bit. But don't you think she's like you? Zeus said you fell into the garden accidentally, probably inadvertently lured by the aura of his power-"

"Been having chats with your Dad, have you?" I interrupted in the same sour tone that came about whenever Zeus came into topic.

"-That's beside the point. Alice went to wonderland by accident after being lured by a rabbit, sort of like you, right? You came here believing in an orderly, stable world, like Alice. Then you found out that what you thought to be myth and fiction was actually true, like Alice. And this world continues to frustrate and confuse you, like Alice."

_Strangely perceptive. _I observed Apollon through narrowed eyes, watching him smile dumbly at me from under his fluffy red and white hat. I huffed and turned back to my sketch pad. "The only similarity between me and the Alice from the book is that everyone I'm surrounded by is mad. I'm lucky to have not descended into madness myself."

And I thought that would be that. I thought I would be left in peace to finish the sketch without anymore distractions in the form of conversations I simply pretended to dislike (almost to the point of convincing my subconscious of the fact, which was, of course, entirely the point). It was a silly little thought really.

"I thought you were into photography."

I groaned, stridently, and dragged my eyes away from the half complete sketch of a bizarrely dressed Greek god to rest on the real deal. "I am into photography," I replied, rather tautly on my part, "but I have no cameras, so I make do."

"But a little while ago you seemed to like writing as well." Apollon appeared to be in the process of putting some kind of jigsaw together in his mind, one where a good deal of the pieces were missing or simply too outlandish to look at. I did not like being treated like an incomplete oddball jigsaw puzzle. "And now you're totally into-"

"Totally into drawing." I finished for him, bitingly. "Yeah, I know. I'm fickle. But I am in art club for a reason, you know. It would be stupid to limit myself to one form of expression." _Or documentation_, a little voice unwittingly added.

"Well, er, yeah..." He looked a bit more like how I had expected him to look now: sheepish. I would have hoped for utterly demoralized but he was verging on self awareness, and that was enough for now. "It's just that, well, you're so good at it all. I didn't realize humans were so skilled. You sure you're not a goddess after all?" Apollon joked gaily.

I would have imagined my eyes to twinkle at the thought, merry with the stroking of my ego. He actually got a small, oddly flattered, chuckle out of me. "If there's one thing you can count on from me, it's my ability to capture a memory in any way I can. I'll draw it, I'll write it, I'll burn it into my skin if I have to." As soon as I said it I knew it had sounded weird. I doubted it should have ever passed my lips, because certainly it had never crossed the fields of my mind.

Apollon squirmed. "That sounds so painful!" It was almost comical. He flailed about, writhing as his caricature dictated. But then he stopped, he let what I said sink in, and in that moment he and all things surrounding turned still. He was deadly serious. "...You've done that before?"

"No, you idiot- stay still! Stop fidgeting!" I berated, though he was long past the point of moving. Quite the opposite really.

I worked at a faster pace now, making haste to finish the drawing for reasons I could not quite fathom. I could feel Apollon's gaze lingering on my face as I drew and when I was done I tore the drawing from my pad, still delightful in its semi-rushed state and handed it to Apollon, unable to keep my head from bobbing low, eyes enjoying the sight of an uneven floor.

Apollon took the paper slowly but when he spoke his voice- for all intents and purposes- was as it should be. "Thank you, Miss Wonderland." He said cheerfully. "Want anything in return? A coin?"

"Free of charge of course," I dug up a remote grin and found myself near-choking on my words. "Sun boy."

I could feel Apollon's eyes circling my expression and I felt naked.

I _hate_ being naked.

...

It was later, darker, and excitement swelled in the air.

The lights were soon to be turned on, and as we all stood in the cold waiting for Apollon to give his opening speech I could not help feel lost in the sea of people. I was the one tangible thing in a mass of spirits, phantoms of realism. I didn't stand with Hades, and since I didn't stand with Hades I clearly wouldn't be standing with anyone else. In that instant there wasn't anybody else. I considered approaching Susanoo for a time, but he would be with Tsukiyomi and that was an obstacle I wouldn't tackle. Not then.

Apollon began his speech, words of joyous grandeur and full of shit, something that may have been amusing to me on some other occasion. I chose not to tune in my ears, listening instead to the gentle murmur of feigned liveliness spreading thorough the vacuous students. Dionysus shouted out some joke about "hurrying up". The phantoms laughed and Apollon followed his part to the point (as he was meant to) and did so with the expression of a teased little brother (as he was meant to be).

For a moment I thought I saw him break character. It seemed that his eyes had met mine. But picking me out in a crowd this size would be next to impossible.

The countdown to turning on the lights began and I slipped off. Back to my booth I went. There was little point of me going to the lighting ceremony. It was a rite meant for the amity. I had little of that.

I sat behind the counter of my stall, on my plastic chair, thinking a lot about nothing and waited for my first customer to arrive.

...

There was a point in the evening, after sketching out a couple of laddish spirits wearing antlers, that I felt I should take a break. It was an idea that came from the blue and, although I had nowhere to go, there was a deep-seated sentiment in me that I had to go _somewhere_ at least. Without having put much thought into it, I tore away the drawing, gave it to the customers, took their money and left. With the 'Atheist Stall' looming behind me and the image of Apollon's sharp green eyes under the shade of a Santa hat in mind, I took off down the lane of booths, not really taking much in but, at the same time, looking anywhere and everywhere.

It was busy, merry- lies. It was empty, really... There was nothing around me really. It was all summoned as toys, for purpose of play and _the_ play. _The show must go on._

Walking, walking, walking... I was stopped.

Hades called to me, said my name. I turned my gaze on him. For a split second I thought I would keep on walking down the road, but I didn't. I wandered to Hades, languidly watching him as he showed me his flower stall, him frown when I didn't respond, and him turn away in a panic as his flowers began to wilt.

"Misfortune! Misfortune!" The actor in my mind cried. "Misfortune- it plagues us- causes anger, sadness, death, death-"

"-Death is essential to life." I reminded the actor with a theatrical wave of my hand. "To accept it is to live happily. To wallow is foolish. But you are the fool, a miserable fool. Lonely, too."

Hades turned back to me, eyebrows knitted in his questioning frown. _They are peculiar looks that he gives you Alice. And you like them! _He reached out to grasp my shoulder, tenderly, ever so tenderly. He clearly didn't understand.

_That is not in the script._

So I pulled away and kept on walking. "Alice, Alice! Misfortune, Misfortune!" The actor cried from behind me. His lines were right so I could leave.

...

Further on I roamed, now passing by Susanoo. "Alice, Alice!" The man should cry, angry, perturbed, ready to be tsundere as those lovely Japanese would say. But he waved and smiled, albeit unsurely, for the distance I had created was large yet he seemed to want to close it.

I looked around his stall as he fished up a bowl of red bean soup. There was no Tsukiyomi, no Yui. Were they together? It was likely. I didn't want that. _But that's just the way the play goes._

I dropped silver coins into Susanoo's waiting hand and sipped red bean soup idly. "Alice," He tried broaching the topic tenderly, again ever so tenderly. _Cut, cut. Stop everyone. It's all wrong. _"My brother... I'm still not quite sure what happened between you two but I think you should-"

"Did you not learn your lines?" I thundered, soup sloshing everywhere. "It's all wrong! My vision is Wonderland, people, Wonderland."

Susanoo froze, becoming more silent than I had ever heard him. At least it was better than the nonsense he was spewing before. He still wasn't close enough to Wonderland, but this would have to do. I set down my soup with a sigh and said, "Practice, will you?"

I left him bewildered and continued on.

...

It wasn't long before one of my personal favourites joined me. I had been ambling, abstracted from myself, and it had been so easy for him to snare my wrist. One tug and I was gone, whizzing into a gap between stalls and _bump_ into his chest I went. I could not help but note vaguely that my face should have matched this performer's. It was expected of me to look into a moon pool mirror. Not today.

Tsukiyomi's face was as impartial as ever, but there was something in his eyes, something utterly abnormal. If a name had to be put to the look I would have to call it anguished. _Anguished, hah, how quaint. But still not in the script. Amateurs-the lot of them!_

I found myself pressed against a wall, wrist still held hostage by the moon god. I did not struggle, for a rogue player should not be struggled with but set back on the straight and narrow. Yet it was so intriguing to watch but still- _Not in the script!_

His stare was intense. "You have been avoiding me." This was not the right persona.

"I only follow the stage directions, as should you." I replied, removing myself from the melodrama for a moment if only to right this wrong. "Go back to Yui."

But the wrong was not righted as it should have been. Out of everyone he was the one to not be perturbed; the rest were easy. This actor had too great a composure, so great it spilled out backstage, behind the stalls.

He did not even blink. Instead, his grip tightened and he leaned closer. Our noses were but an inch away from each other. Neither of us were touchy-feely characters. It is bad form to be so inapt when the show can only ever go on.

"After the moon-viewing ceremony I began to think about some of the things Loki Laevatien talked about. And so I spoke to my brother," He explained far too earnestly, "I have even conducted some research in the library. I can only come to one conclusion."

He sucked in a breath, in what could only be labelled as nervousness. He seemed to be deliberating carefully- _deliberating!_ And this is coming from a god who says what he thinks and thinks what he says. He did so for some time too, and all the while I let his breath tickle my lips, almost wanting to smirk. It was so odd, so wrong, but terribly fascinating. Then finally Tsukiyomi told me what was on his mind in a way I could almost call in character, but then again, it was not on the script.

So tenderly, ever so tenderly, he said, "I like you romantically, Alice Roth."

For the first time since Apollon had come to my stall, my face was no longer neutral. It was replaced with a large invigorated grin._ It would be so easy to lean in and kiss him, but that's not part of the play- not my persona. It would be funny though. I could do with a good laugh._

I shook my head gently, tittering even though the script clearly said no. "That's not the right line, Tsukito Totsuka." He appeared lost at my words; finally, at long last, he was perturbed. His hands fell limply to his sides and he stepped away.

"Totsuka Takeru said something like this could happen." _Look at him! His lip is quivering._ I thought he may cry, which would be the height of malapropos. I had to believe someone had spilt coffee over the original draft of _the _play. It would not be so unbecoming otherwise.

"It has been lovely talking to you, but I really must go back to avoidance. It would not do good to break character too often."

"Alice," Tsukiyomi began again, perhaps with a new surge of amorous confidence, but I was already leaving. Before I was completely out of earshot I heard him say, "Your rejection method is not at all like the one Totsuka Takeru described..."

...

I wanted to lament over the lack of skilled acting. It seems none of them understood that when in _the_ play a part must be followed to the utmost precision.

But now I saw a commotion. Wonderland was on its way. "Goody, goody. Actors who know what they are doing." I was drawn after the two, following excitedly, ravenously. Behind the school building they went, away from the stalls and phantoms, and found the perfect stage for their scene to take place.

I took my seat in the audience, behind a crooked tree, and watched with rapt attention. It was the hottest play this season. The only play. _The play_. Wonderland they may call it; and to think I stumbled across it accidentally. _What luck!_

"You are special to me," The actor tells her. _Blech, how sappy. _It was the unimportant dialogue, but still necessary.

"They are drawn to me, but you are not. You are special! Special!" _On with it, on with it. _It was not yet the climax of the scene.

She is unwilling, but the actor pulls and pulls. She says no, but his touch is tender- now where it is meant to be- ever so tender. "But what's this?" I mutter to myself in delight, peering from my seat. _A new actor has joined the stage._

_Loki! The trickster, the lover, the fire. _

_What an absolutely wonderful character._

And then we were there, at the climax, the long-awaited climax. Loki had angered Balder (a supposed love affair between his dear friend and the sweet Yui) and now it was time for the consequence. The great reveal! Balder began to glow, lighting up the stage, his golden beams tearing through the sky. The air was charged. The audience was on their feet. It was wild, fantastic. _More, More! Encore!_

But then the light shot through me, ripping away at my skin, my stomach now dripping in red. Never did they say _the_ play would involve audience participation.

I tried to scream in anguish but I couldn't. You see, the scene would stop and I wouldn't want that.

So I sank down in my seat behind the tree, clutching at the wound in my stomach, still wanting more. This was the final scene and it could not be missed because of mere bodily discomfort. It was getting good. Very good. _With an outcome like this I shall clap for the actors until my hands are rubbed raw._ I grinned through the pain. _A pen, a pen. Someone fetch me a pen. I must write it all._

I was ready to cheer, to praise the writer of such a wonderful play, but the lighting dimmed, the stage fell away. Loki was gripping Balder like his life depended on it, and of course it _had_ depended on it. _But the play! _He had ruined _the_ play. My vision of wonderland was in tatters and all I was left with was the blood pooling at my feet.

As Balder flopped into Loki's arms, drained, I began to crawl. I would not stay for this trash. It is not what I paid for. Somewhere nearby I heard Loki tell Yui, "He's just asleep. He's tired."

She breathed a sigh of relief, one I did not share. _Awake he should be, performing! _

Loki decided that he "trusted" her. He would "explain the situation".

So it was not the final scene after all.

_Such a shame,_ I thought as I succumbed to the darkness, somewhere in the woods.

* * *

_I certainly did stick to my promise of kicking it up a notch but then it went and ended up going up more notches than I at first expected. And this chapter is unusually long for me, but I thought you guys deserve a long chapter. So yeah, my mind is completely drained after writing all this crazy bullshit. I enjoyed it though._


	33. Tourism 33

**Tourism 33: Having insurance abroad is key, especially if you think there is a chance of death while away.**

* * *

...I was little, again. The little Alice Roth.

Sitting on a worn rug, stacking building blocks in an array of colours and shapes, I played lazily. I was traipsing through this stagnant time of infancy, when the surrounding world was just a thing and the mind was not something to be relied upon. It was the time most important in the development of a person supposedly, though in reality we just idle. But children don't tend to do much else now, do they?

Somewhere in the recesses of my head I felt as if I should be somewhere else, in some other time, doing something more important. Yet I was far too absorbed in my ineffectual task to really dwell on such a fleeting thought.

Higher and higher my block tower rose, until I was forced to totter up onto my feet in order to keep building upwards. I heard a clinking in the kitchen. I knew that sound. It was my father finding a drink. _Tough day maybe. _He _had_ been forced into the role of babysitter by Nan after all.

The sound of the fridge door slamming echoed through the otherwise silent house and was soon followed by the lethargic clomp of his footsteps. He entered the living room without even looking at me. With an odd kind of rigid determination he sat down on the sofa, turned on the TV, and took a swig from his beer bottle. I kept building.

A few minutes passed and I had run out of the capability to build any higher. I had no more blocks and I was stuck in a disgustingly short body. _There's nothing else for it... _I raised a small pudgy hand and smacked the tower, causing it to tumble and fall to the ground. _I was bored of that anyway._

From the corner of my eye I saw my Dad flinch as the blocks clattered to the ground and suddenly I wasn't quite so bored. A wretched grin was spreading across my face, one which did not belong to a child or even myself. Dad didn't turn away from the TV, didn't even spare me a glance, but he was very aware of my presence. It was almost as if my being there caused him pain. _He thinks I'm the daughter of another man. Ha!_

"Father," I spoke with the lips that could not yet speak- that _should not_ yet speak. "Look at me."

Then, so very abruptly, Dad was no longer sitting rigidly, staring in mitigated aggrievement at the television set. He looked at me instead. "Alice..." He whispered the words as if saying them to loudly may break him. It would have been no skin off my back if they had.

With noticeable timidity my father slid himself gently from his seat and approached me with wide forbearing eyes.

"Alice," He said again, face wet with tears now. He reached out to me, cupping my youthful face with the care that was not yet expected of this man and began to weep. "I'm looking, sweetie. Don't worry. I'm looking."

I smirked, watching the oblivious tears run down his unkempt face, catching in the matted hairs that were long past the point of being stubble. He almost looked like a vagrant. _Pitiful. _"Of course you are," I simpered, a bizarre appearance for an infant. He didn't have the eyes to notice that though. "It would make all of this much harder if you didn't."

...

I woke up with the dream fresh in my mind, a blazing thought above all else swirling messily around my head. Never before had one of my dreams come back to me so clearly. I was shocked for a moment, bewildered by both my remembrance and the content of the night vision, but soon I was gagging, retching on nothingness as I lay on my back in the near darkness. I shifted, as to sit up, but the movement sent a ripple of agonizing pain through my midriff and all the blood rushed from my head.

Dazed and pained, I tilted my head away from the canopy of black above. That small shift alone sent my eyes rolling, but I stilled, closed my eyes and took a breath. Then I opened them again and vaguely, in the distance, I saw tiny golden lights floating through the shadow and silhouette. They were like fireflies being birthed into the world, slowly multiplying in numbers, swarming together.

There was some kind of primitive instinct within me that forced me into movement, it pulsated and spread through my chest before I could simply bare the dark no more. I was crawling along the forest floor before I even fully registered it, inching my way forwards as I gravitated towards the light. It was painstaking. The agony I felt in my abdomen was so strong it was as if my stomach could collapse in on itself at any moment, but I wouldn't be stopped. I was demented, haunted by the image of the lights, and I could only haul myself towards them with nails clawing at the dirt and legs kicking furiously against anything solid (the only way to move myself anywhere).

After an eternity- or maybe it was no time at all- I reached the lights. They were not quite how I imagined them: as little bugs that glowed in the dark. Instead, they were blazing lanterns in the hands of gods. I felt as if I was suddenly grounded, snapped from my craze, and the world I knew fell back into place. I was suddenly remembering myself- a girl, a human, Alice Roth- and the inexplicable situation I had found myself in at the start of the year.

I looked upon the backs of these gods I had come to know and remembered each and every one of them to have far more human qualities than I would have liked. I could not help but let an arbitrary tear slip from my eye then. It was sad, my insides were shrivelling, but I couldn't quite work out why. The one thing I knew was that it was a different kind of ache to the one that was cut into my front.

I didn't approach the gods and their lights. I didn't want them _seeing_.

So instead I sat in the shadow of the trees, watching them fawn over the novelty of lanterns on the lake's shore and time was slowly draining me dry. I might have liked to watch them till I died of the blood loss, but that simply wasn't an option. Something _had_ to be done. But again, I didn't want them _seeing_. Not all at least. Yet there was one I seemed to be able to allow myself...

My eyes zoned in on Hades, crouched away from most of the others, in a conversation of anxious, hushed whispers with Susanoo. They were so very troubled-looking, but no one seemed to pick up on that. Dionysus, Thor and Apollon all stood closer to the water's edge, both Apollon and Dionysus admiring the attractiveness of the paper lanterns and Thor seemed rather more fidgety than his usual self. He kept looking out across the lake. Was it the absence of Loki and Balder? Maybe. Nobody else seemed particularly bothered, even by the fact Yui wasn't there. And Tsukiyomi... He wasn't-Tsukiyomi wasn't there- He-

...

I struggle to write this, and it hasn't been and will not be the only thing I struggle to write. But this moment in particular causes me an indefinable pain. But it must be written, _documented_.

...

Memories of that evening were flooding back to me and all at once I felt sick, positively unnerved, and even now I look back with such a dreadful feeling, because I recalled those memories- now and then- and I knew it was the changing point. Nothing, not myself or the way I would be perceived in the Garden, could remain so static anymore. My mind and everything else was spiralling out of control and at the time I thought there wasn't a shred of me that understood it. I understand all too well now.

_Alice Roth_, a part of me laughed, hysterically, terrifyingly, _you have gone absolutely raving mad!_

I nearly let out a sob, there, hidden in the shrubbery beyond the blue-black lake. I could only cry silently to myself, grasping at my wound and still knowing that something _had_ to be done. I removed one blood soaked hand from my belly and used it to scramble around the woodland floor. I came across something small, rounded and cool to the touch. I griped it, for a moment I almost passed a prayer on into the stone, but I had never been partial to prayers. I raised my arm, and in a fashion ironically similar (quite cruelly so) to the day I had thrown numerous paper balls at his head, I aimed the stone at Hades and let go. It whizzed through the air and hit, just where I wanted it to, against Hades' back.

He looked to the tree line where I sat with a confused frown, and briefly a horrid feeling of dread spread through me when I thought he hadn't seen but a second later and his eyes had met mine. His confused frown only grew.

I was in luck (another shred of irony when considering the god I was dealing with), as Hades did not shout about or draw attention to me in any way. He simply stood up, eyes still locked upon mine and walked slowly away from the others to meet me in the darkness. It was possible he wanted to confront me, for my bizarreness, my unexpected change, and that was surely something he wanted to remain between just us.

Susanoo was the one to first notice Hades' departure, seeing as it had cut straight through the middle of their harried discussion. He also stood, calling after Hades, "Hey! Where are you going?"

The other three gods looked around now, in the same bewilderment. They watched Hades go, but their gaze never fell upon me. It was good they didn't notice me.

"What's he doing?" Dionysus mumbled, torn somewhere between puzzlement and oblivious amusement.

"Uncle, we'll start without you if you're gone too long." Apollon shouted after him and then turned back to the lanterns, easily shrugging off Hades unusual behaviour. He probably though he was just momentarily slipping back into his old ways.

Susanoo didn't appear to take the occurrence quite so lightly, however. He followed after Hades, marching after him, maybe with a demanding question on his tongue. But if it had ever been there it would have died quickly because Hades was walking more briskly now and I was staggering off, going back into the darkness and leading them there with me.

At the time I wasn't quite aware of Susanoo's presence. I would be rueful of that later- then again, it probably wouldn't have made much of a difference if he was there or not. But for now I pushed my way through the branches, following the lake perimeter, going as fast as I could. My stomach seared.

"Alice," I heard Hades say faintly, or maybe I just couldn't hear all that much. There was mostly just the sound of churning blood in my head. "Alice, stop."

I did so eventually, again at the shore of the lake, except we were much further away from the festivities. The gods were mere far-off figures, dancing with lanterns.

I allowed myself to sink to the ground, wheezing out my agony as I fell upon the sand. I was gasping for air, barely breathing, and every gulp I took felt like another stab to the gut. Never before had I felt something so excruciating. I thought I should be curled up, screaming, but I didn't. I had to live, yet another part of me was thinking that it would not be a bad idea to just let myself fade away, there, on the fine sand, listening to the lake slowly lap up against the land...

"Alice," Hades had finally caught up, panting, but not like I was. He approached from behind where I sat slanted, watching the world tip. "What is going on? Earlier you were..."

He never finished. I never found out from him what I was earlier, but of course I already somewhat knew what I had been earlier. Completely tragically barmy.

And I told him so: "I'm afraid I've gone mad." I whispered to him, as he stared down at me in horror, and it was only now that I felt myself starting to break. I began to sob. "I've gone mad, Hades."

"Oh my—Alice, what-" He couldn't even speak. He was spluttering, reeling. His inability to cope with what he saw shone clearer than the light of day. Yes, he was oddly bright then... The god of the Underworld was almost radiant.

He crouched down before me, hands fumbling with the buttons of his shirt. Vaguely I thought about demanding he stay his fingers. Even now, in my half-dead state, my abhorrence to nudity was partially on mind. I didn't much have the energy, or the mind, to protest though."Alice... Alice. Alice." Hades seemed only to be able to repeat my name as he worked, over and over in a hum of fear. He lifted away the tattered material that clung to my wound, to which I could only let out a grunt of agitation, still with fresh sobs raking through my body. Obviously the crying did nothing to quell the bleeding. Gently, though I could feel him shaking, Hades pressed his crisp white shirt against my stomach. I think we were both struck by the amount of red it absorbed.

It was then that Susanoo came crashing through the trees, tumbling out onto the beach with an expression of absolute aggravation. "For fuck's sake! Can you guys just tell me what the hell is going—Oh shit..."

He could only stare, in a similar fashion to Hades, paralysed in an unfamiliar fear. It wasn't a situation they often had to deal with, I'd imagine. It was only for a moment longer that he stood there, taking it all in, and then he went to pieces- practically collapsing. "Shit, shit, shit," He was squatted beside us, very nearly ripping the hair from his head in the ferocity that he gripped it.

"What happened? Alice, how- What do we do?" He was looking at Hades now, tearing his eyes away from the sight of my blood. Susanoo almost looked like a child from the amount of pleading and vulnerability on his face. I could only wonder if this was the same look he had worn when he had lost the goddess over the Cliffside so long ago.

Hades mirrored the expression, but only for a moment, for in the next he was steeled. A determination had taken him over. "Go and get the others."

When Susanoo didn't move straightaway, likely still overtaken by fear, Hades barked, "Now!"

The sea god stumbled up, nodding as he went. I watched him sprint back from where we came through blurring vision. "Look at me, Alice. Keep your eyes on me." It was an effort to drag my eyes back to him, but I did so. "I want you to stay awake now, stay focused on my face."

"Mmhm..." I hummed, absent-mindedly noting that the pain I felt was becoming less and less now. I was just numb really. _At least I'm not crying anymore._

"Alice," Hades voice was practically a growl. I don't think I'd heard him quite like this before. "Keep them open."

_My eyes had been closing...?_ I hadn't even noticed.

"Talk to me, Alice." Hades said in what was a desperate attempt to keep me conscious, "Tell me something."

_Something..._ I thought about it dreamily. _Oh yeah. _"I don't want the others here." I told him.

"What?"

"They shouldn't see me like this," I mumbled through my haze. "I don't really know why... They just shouldn't. Not even you really."

"I don't understand." He told me and I thought he looked just about ready to break down.

"Neither do I," I said, "But I don't think we're meant to."

I'm pretty sure Hades was saying something back to me but, for all intents and purposes, I was just hearing white noise now. I tried to focus on Hades, as he had asked of me. I tried to focus on the way his lips would move to pronounce words I couldn't hear in a language that had been seared into my skin. I was easily distracted though. There was much more interesting things going on.

Far off, for example, across the lake, I could vaguely make out someone crashing into its waters. When he got deep enough he began to swim. He was heading towards the middle of the lake, where all the boats bobbed, and people were sure to be laughing. _Look at Susanoo_, maybe they would point to him in hysterics, thinking he was so desperate to join them, _He actually jumped into the lake fully clothed! _I watched, nearly content to imagine their faces as Susanoo reached them and told them. _Alice Roth is bleeding out on the shore._ I liked to imagine they all let go of their lanterns from the shock and I gazed upon those ascending golden lights with a smile, despite the fact everything was about to change.

_I guess they will be seeing then._ And once again- _shit_\- I was taken over by the nothingness.

* * *

_You're all so confused. Its great! Don't worry guys. It'll all make sense soon. Hang on a little bit longer._

_-BIG NEWS- I've done a side story for this called 'Tsukito Totsuka's Notes on the Curious Creature Alice Roth'. Its basically Suki's perspective on Alice. I thought it would be interesting to write. I'm also in the progress of writing two other side stories from Hades and Loki's POVs and I shall reveal the names of them to you now: 'To Make Myself Lucky' and 'When a Crotch is Burnt' XD. Its gonna be good._

_And I've also had a pole up on my profile for a while to see who the most popular romantic partner for Alice would be. More or less just for fun (but if it ends up influencing me one day you can't blame me- its the power of the internet). So you can give that a gander if you want._

_Thanks!_


	34. Tourism 34

**Tourism 34: Do try to make your holiday memorable; it would be a shame to forget. **

* * *

_That_ place had not been how people had described it.

It was dark (I have been told), dank (I supposed), and just as sinister as one would imagine (some might say). I think I had grown quite fond of all that though, over time. It was familiar, a home-come-prison, plus the fact my mind was completely addled but we need not mention any more of that. I fear I may have spent my entire eternity loopy. I do not need to spend another eternity having it brought up.

In this place I was not quite Alice, but that's not to say I wasn't either. I definitely was, at my core, the same; the differences were (for that time being) unimportant. I felt rather apathetic to it honestly. The consequence of identity barely crossed my mind, only passing by as a flickering thought, a fragment of the notion I may one day become Miss Alice Roth. Though through that small, small idea was channelled out a larger one, an idea that expanded into a world complete with masks of many shapes, and spotlights of many colours and a stage that could change in the blink of an eye. Wonderland spread like a disease, a dirty phenomenon that sadly only I witnessed. Wonderland began as a rudimentary thing, a past time of mine, but to say Wonderland began would be rather incorrect for Wonderland, technically, had always been. However, there was a special Wonderland that began with me and it certainly helped that I could see through the Universe's looking-glass on occasions. That was always rather helpful.

How many days was I in Wonderland for? Hmmm. Let me think...

I would hazard a guess at forever. Of course the forever did not last, because soon enough something else began— Alice began. This was only set in motion when a hateful being decided to pay me a visit, the first time in infinity mind you, but I would not hold a grudge. There was always the possibility he would provide me some new material for Wonderland after all.

"You're still in this dirty hovel?" He said with no disguise to his disdain. It was not really the Wonderland way, although that's not to say it wasn't. No labels can truly be put on Wonderland, only observations can be made.

"I think you must have gone blind, friend. There is no hovel here. Can you not see the beauty of this stage? The play tonight is Wonderland, as always."

"It is you who is blind, hag. They gouged your eyes out, remember?"

"Oh yes," I chuckled lowly, "They thought it would stop me seeing Wonderland, but the stupid little tweedles were wrong. Nothing can stop Wonderland, not truly. It is always running in some way or another."

"Well that's what you get for raving on about seeing me. No wonder you ended up so. And saying such foolish things about me too, in his house, right under his nose. You set me back thousands of years. Surely you can see why I locked you here."

"See?!" I shrieked in unabashed amusement, "Of course I can see. I see everything. Though I cannot see what does not exist. And you do tend to weave many a false reality for yourself. It is rather pitiable really. No wonder you were kicked out."

The sound of his brisk march approached me and soon I had a claw-like hold around my neck. "You repugnant beast of a woman, I should have you skewered, I should hang you, then burn you a thousand times over like the hideous witch of a woman you are. I should do to you what those stupid 'tweedles' never got the chance to."

"Should, could, would..." I wheezed through his iron grip, "So many possibilities, but so little in the way of a likely outcome."

He gave a disgusted grunt and threw me to the floor. In a tone that still seeped infuriation, he spoke again. He really was trying to collect himself though, the poor thing. "...I am not here to argue. I am here with a gift, though now I am wondering if I should even pass it on."

"Oh no, please! I do love presents, and I haven't got one in such an awfully long eternity."

"Hn." He tossed the gift into my lap, "Here, hag."

"A book." is what I saw (what I felt too), "_Alice in Wonderland_... Where did this come from? Why haven't I seen this before? I should have seen this." It agitated and delighted me at the same time. I was frantic. "Where? Where?!"

"A man who goes by the name of Charles Dodgson recently came stumbling into my domain. Apparently he got lost. Not that he knows that. For all he knows he's found his destination. We'll keep him, shall we?" I could just picture his pointed grin.

"Enough of this pointless yapping." I snapped, "The book—?"

"Written by this man, though he underwent the alias of Lewis Carroll to publish it to the masses. He has a split personality you see, quite unhinged in the mind. Not quite as unhinged as you though."

"He sees Wonderland?" I whispered, clutching the book as tenderly and passionately as a mother would hold a newborn child.

"Yes, hag," He drawled, "He 'sees Wonderland', supposedly..." He finished in a disgruntled mutter.

For a while longer I held the book, dreaming of a shared Wonderland, and he remained standing beside me tapping his foot. "You're here for more than offerings. I should have known. You would never give for nothing."

"Right you are," He growled impatiently. "I need you to be like dear Mr Carroll and take on your own pseudonym, your own fictitious name and do something rather important for me."

I didn't think he had a clear understanding of importance— probably only I and possibly only Lewis Carroll would have the slightest glimpse of that— though I let him continue his chatter.

"I want you to be a vessel of mine, one of my devouts—" He was interrupted by my cackling, something that was a cause of instant anger for him. Nonetheless he managed to be a good sport and ignore this time around, "and as a person in such a position you will be given new powers, you will be given back your larger 'stage', but you will not be a watcher this time. You will become my aspiring thespian. You will take on this role."

"The powers I do not care for, but the acting... That is an intriguing proposal. I have been running out of material as of late... It would be nice to see it from the point of view as one on the stage."

"So you will do it?" He seemed most anxious. It was only because he sees importance in all the wrong places.

"Hmm... Haaa... Ha—Ha—Hahahah! Yes! Yes, I shall become your player, redundant one. Alice will be going to Wonderland anew!"

And, so you see, that was the beginning of Alice Roth.

...

I shot up, sweat dribbling down my face in small streams. With my sudden movement, I felt a part of myself twist and a pang of pain swept through me. "Argh!" I cried, clutching my stomach.

There was a clatter from across the room, wherein I looked over to see Hades jolting up in his armchair, now sitting and staring— shock was the only thing he could feel as of yet— and to my horror there was Tsukiyomi lying sprawled on the floor. He had just fallen off the sofa and now he lay tangled in the mess of a blanket, mouth agape in a similar smaller horror to my own.

A hot flush was soon creeping its way onto my face the longer he stared at me in such a dreadful stupor, as it was only now that I managed to feel what I should have felt the previous night. _He confessed romantic attraction to a barmy Alice. _But really that was the least of my worries now and sadly, I thought in a terrible guiltiness as Tsukiyomi heaved himself up and hastily stumbled from the room, my dear old Suki— lost in a clutter of confused unfamiliar feelings— would have to wait.

The door slammed behind the moon god and my blush quickly faded, replaced with an expression of deepest upset and uncertainty. I reached out with a limp arm to the only other in the room, my parallel, my confidant. "Hades..." I didn't mean for my voice to come as such a whimper; I intended to be that little bit stronger. Yet his look had faded from shock and he kept his face in perfect check, almost collected, and he glided over to my bedside in a reliability I do so wish I could have possessed at that moment.

He pulled up a chair and sat himself down, taking up my outstretched hand. There was a twinge of a grimace as he met my cold pasty skin. "I'm sorry." I told him.

"Whatever for?"

"For putting you through more crazy bullshit than anyone should have to go through."

"Last night was..." He began in a stern kindness but trailed off as he became a loss for words. "Well, being injured wasn't your fault."

"That doesn't mean I shouldn't apologise for it," I said forlornly, then gave a grim frown, "And it wasn't all I was apologising for."

"What do you mean?" His red and amber gaze was sharp and perceptive. I believe he already had a hunch to the subject of my desolate thoughts.

I needed to tell someone and the only someone I could think of telling was Hades. He was steadfast, he was unwavering in his intelligence and no one else but he could ever possibly treat me quite the same after last night. I could almost see their future change in my presence and surely soon I would experience firsthand their change in demeanour too. But Hades, my poor dependable Hades, he was so much less likely to shift his stance.

The seriousness and thereafter the incomprehensibility of the situation hit me like a ton of bricks and I felt myself pale at the thought of recounting last night's disorder, my sudden isolation, my instability. It was horrible enough to merely recall it all (_I wish it were like my dreams— I wish I could scarcely remember it_), but to speak it, to make it real through words... I sucked in a trembling breath and plucked my courage.

"Look," I told him, all so solemn and so very unsmiling, "We have a lot to talk about, a lot that I don't even understand. I didn't know what I was doing. It was like being on a bike and I couldn't steer. I said so many strange things, I thought so many strange thoughts, and then I got to edge of the forest and it was there that—" A cold, electric force exploded in my head, so much more than any of the head pains I had had before. I doubled over, clutching the first aid room's bed sheets, thinking I may die so soon after survival. But then it stopped. I straightened myself out and I turned to Hades and saw a reflection of my mortality in his eyes.

"Alice, are you al—"

"I'm sorry," I told him, positively wraithlike, "I don't remember."

But I did. I remembered it all.

He sat there in an abundance of nervous confusion. "What?"

"I'm sorry. I don't remember at all."

I wanted to tell Hades, I needed to so very desperately, but every time I opened my mouth the words came tumbling out over and over: "Sorry, I don't remember."

* * *

_Please forgive me! Busy schedules and forgetfulness have been an awful trouble for me this summer. More so the former. I really did want to make time for writing, but there's just so much to do and the plot is getting so much more complicated. See, I've both vaguely revealed things in this chapter and probably left you with more questions. And the dialogue was a blast to write. I ended up taking a few small liberties with history too. And sorry for not replying to people's loving PMs, enquiring to the status of this story. Well, the next chapter is here now. Do not fret. And Loki's side story is still under revision at the minute. His internal voice is very hard to get right._

_I'll try to be quicker this time round. Thanks for waiting! _


	35. Tourism 35

**Tourism 35: Make sure your insurance will cover international medical bills.**

* * *

I learnt that Zeus had not helped me in the slightest.

He knew I was bleeding out, a human kept in the Garden under his jurisdiction, dying, and he did nothing. Hades had run to him while Susanoo, Apollon, Thor, Balder, Loki and Dionysus were left scrambling around my pathetic broken body, (apparently) ending up shouting at each other in their panic more than taking action to save me. Tsukiyomi was not yet present.

The god of the Underworld called out to his brother in the throne room. Zeus answered the summons, Hades had explained the situation and— from what little I have garnered from Hades bristly account of the matter— Zeus told Hades that he already knew of my state. Of course, just as it had been an 'improvident choice of action' to send me back home all the way back on my first day in the Garden, his sentiment remained the same now. What was the point of helping poor Miss Roth?

Maybe it would have served him well if I had died that night. Maybe the gods would have been awakened to the fragility of humanity. A single rip in the fabric of our existence and we will die. _But then_, I sometimes thought to myself sadly, _most of these men have likely seen enough death already. _Mine would just be an unwelcome reminder.

I was lucky to have Yui. She had not run for Zeus, she had run for Thoth (a clear thinker and luckily someone who did not think it improvident to save me). He approached the lake's shore, Yui by his side and stretcher in hand. Though by this time Thor and Apollon (both with the practice of healing under their belts) had made valiant attempts to clean, dress and apply pressure to my wound. However they did not have their powers and could do little more than what Hades had already done. They had clearly never been forced to deal with injuries the way a mortal would have to deal with them.

I have been told I was gently lifted away on the stretcher, carried back to the school, into the first aid room and Thoth had set my gash. He had pinched my skin together and commanded a shaky Yui to stitch it while he administered a potent tonic to the wound. _I was clever enough to foresee an accident, _he told me some days after I awoke and held a near empty vial of holy medicine before my eyes, _I just didn't foresee the accident being so... lethal._

_You and me both, _I had replied grouchily. I was still confined to bed at that time and was not happy about it. Although the tonic had done its trick, the laceration had been deep and would not be fully healed for some time. Thor said I was likely to be left with a scar. We both agreed that scars served to prove a survivor's merit and surprisingly he went on to show me a number of scars on his body (fortunately the ones he put on show did not require him to strip). He informed me he could have very well healed the damage, yet he chose to keep them. Apparently most other gods couldn't understand it. _I'm glad we share similar thoughts on scars,_ he had told me (much to my surprise). I think that was the first time me and Thor truly hit it off so to speak. It had been quite an enjoyable bed-side visit.

The same cannot be said for my first hospital meet. It had been tumultuous to say the least.

I had only been awake ten minutes and feeling incredibly bewildered, not to mention alarmed, by my incapacity to explain to Hades what exactly had taken place on the night of my injury, when every student god (except Tsukiyomi) and Yui came flooding into the room. I was quickly beseeched by a deluge of questions which left my head spinning, not to mention almost being on the receiving end of a near deadly hug from Apollon. He covered the space from the door to my bed in a mere three strides and practically launched himself upon me, crying out joyously 'Miss Wonderland' as he leapt.

Fortunately, Susanoo had entered the room just as fast and was able to roughly pull the sun god away before his fingertips could even graze my skin. He deposited Apollon on the closest empty bed before turning to me, and after passing one searching look over my form he let out a shaky sigh of relief. With strong hands he grasped my forearm with his own, applying a meaningful yet gentle pressure. I returned the gesture almost mechanically, my eyes darting about the room, not able to let my gaze linger on any thankful face for too long. My mind was still reeling in the aftermath of being addressed as 'Miss Wonderland'. That name held far too much weight after the previous night.

Soon enough Apollon was in full motion again, pushing past Susanoo to give my hair an enthusiastic ruffle (not before Dionysus could call out "Not too rough, brother!"). Yui was next and she was crying, knelling by my bed and taking up my hands. Through her soft sniffling I made out her saying "I'm so glad. You're alive." Normally addressing the blatant was a cause for me to scoff and shake my head in sorry dismay of a person who could not find more efficient things to say with their time (as hypocritical as that may seem considering all my ramblings), yet today as Yui pressed her damp cheek to my motionless hands I felt the words 'you're alive' with more significance than anything I have felt before. I looked down at the crown of her purple head of hair, watching as the strands quivered through her gentle sobs, and was touched to know how much those words meant to the people in this room too.

Dionysus was happily wringing my hand and Thor received me with a remarkably cordial nod of the head and very soon I found myself relaxing into the elation of my good health, a watery smile touching my lips. But there was a slight clatter from behind and those few seconds of warmth vanished into nothingness as I turned my head by inches to see Balder being helped off the floor by Loki. It seemed he had fallen in his rush to enter.

I felt myself freeze up, my skin going numb under Dionysus' grip. The freshly sewn slash in my belly throbbed.

As soon as Balder was up, with two feet planted firmly on the ground, he was running towards me with unrestrained glee— similarly to Apollon's approach, yet unlike with the sun god my brain was now screaming at me to flee. Despite my ridged expression, Balder sung his admirations and thanks. I sat perfectly still as he babbled on unaware and I let him pat me affectionately on the cheek. All the while Loki hung back by the door.

My classmates gathered standing around me, perched on the end of my bed, pulled up chairs while I half listened to their excited rabble in a daze, only truly focused on Balder. I was acutely conscious of how close the god who had slashed a hole into my stomach sat by my side, how familiar he acted and how grateful he seemed that I had survived. When I had last seen him he had been a monster wrapped in tendrils of blinding light that could rip through the trunks of thick trees (and just as easily me).

I was only snapped away from my stupor as Yui and Susanoo began posing questions to the happenings of last night (Yui much tenderer in the delivery of her enquiries). After Yui firmly shushing Susanoo (a sight to behold)— who had asked his questions in a harried, brutish, and somewhat neurotic attempt to receive answers — she turned to me with an almost motherly gleam to her eyes and said, "What exactly happened last night? How did you get your injury?"

I felt the words rising in my throat before they were even spoken and from the look in Hades' face he knew just what I was about to say too. "I'm sorry, Yui. I don't remember."

Across the room, leaning against a wall, Loki's eyes narrowed.

"I m-mean," I fumbled to elaborate, "I probably hit my head, or the shock of the wound just wiped all of my memories from... When did you say it was? Last night? I've slept a whole day then. There's always a chance my memories may come back. A good chance! ... No Apollon, I don't think there's anything you can do to help. ... Don't worry Yui, I made it through the worst of it, didn't I? I'm comfortable you don't have to worry ... Well, I guess some food would be pretty good..."

And so for the rest of that evening I continued on answering questions, making genial remarks about unrelated things, and turning on autopilot every time Balder engaged me in conversation, too petrified to talk to him with any true conviction (I don't know how I managed really). I was propped up wearily chatting away until the moon had well and truly rose into the sky and only a few stragglers remained behind, yawning and stretching as they tried desperately to remain awake.

It was only after my rather persistent suggestions that they should leave, not only for them to get rest but to allow the injured girl some solo recovery time too, that Yui jumped up in alarm and quickly ushered Hades and Susanoo from the room, apologising profusely as she went. I was bid my goodnights and was left in the moonlit silence of the first aid room, cocooned in sterile bed sheets.

There was so much to think about. _So much..._

But in that moment, the allure of sleep was calling and I didn't much have the energy to fight it off. So with the promise of devoting thought to the matters that so desperately needed it in the days to come, I slipped off into my first dreamless sleep in a long time, hoping that maybe, soon, I could sort out the mess that was Alice Roth's head.

* * *

_I wouldn't call this filler, but I'd say this chapter has that kind of vibe to it. To be honest there'll be a few chapters like this until things start heating up again. But thanks for hanging on while I slowly lay out this story. I hope you're enjoying yourselves!_


	36. Tourism 36

**Tourism 36: Romance does not cross the cultural barrier well.**

* * *

I thought, and thought, and somewhere within these thoughts I ended up thinking that there really should be a particular thought that I tackle first. In the end, that thought to be tackled turned out to be Tsukiyomi.

Or at least it was the first thought I made any headway with, despite my constant thinking.

I had been bed-confined in the medical room for nearly two weeks now and with each day that passed I grew more restless. Supposedly, according to various godly diagnoses, I would be able to leave within a few days. I would still have to take it easy but due to Thoth's quick application of the tonic and Yui's surprisingly proficient stitch work my recovery couldn't have been quicker. If I had been injured like that in the human world and treated with human remedies I surely would have either died or been in the healing process for many months (even years) longer.

It was on a Thursday afternoon that I asked Susanoo about Tsukiyomi. The sea god was the only one to visit me today. As much as everyone had expressed their desire to visit me and save me of my boredom, I understood they had their own business to take care of and could not spend every waking hour with me.

"So," I said, with no real focus on the conversation at hand. My mind was stuck on the image of Tsukiyomi – of Tsukiyomi's hand gripping my wrist, of Tsukiyomi's golden eyes on mine, of Tsukiyomi's confession exhaled so intimately, pitter-pattering against the skin of my lips. "How's everything?"

"That's a bit of a vague question." Susanoo responded, eyeing me with one brow raised. He knew I was acting strange. Stranger than usual. Of course, nothing could beat the strangeness of the night of the Christmas market. But he hadn't brought that up yet. I was dreading the moment he would.

"Uh-huh." I hadn't registered what he had said. I just assumed he had answered and so replied accordingly with an acknowledgement. "How's your class work?"

"Alice, are you even paying atten-"

"How's your brother?" It spilled out, in one breath. I felt a bit frazzled and lightheaded from the sudden emotional release. It was like I had just removed the plug from a bathtub. All my emotions and thoughts were slowly slipping away down the drain, straight into Susanoo's awaiting open palm.

"Ah-ha! So we get to the root of the problem. Finally." said Susanoo, throwing his hands up in the air, relieved. "I've been waiting for you to bring this up actually. I tried to talk about it before at the market but..." He trailed off. Now was not the time to talk about that night, not yet. He knew that. But it would be soon. For now he would just allude to it, but I knew in the near future some direct questions were on their way. Although, it wasn't like I would be able to respond to them anyway.

"Tsukiyomi has been weighing on my mind for some time." _He and many other things included._

"I can tell. You've been avoiding him for such a long time now and nobody really knows why. I don't even know how your relationship with him became so complicated in the first place. It was so simple before."

"I know." I said miserably, dragging my hands across my sunken eyes. I was so tired. I guess being sliced through the gut with Balder's weird magical ray of light could do that to you. To be honest though, I think my exhaustion came more from mental duress. So, so much mental duress.

"Well, in answer to your question, he's been very withdrawn. Even from me. He doesn't make notes on anything, just kind of stares off into the distance, and frankly he looks a mess..." He heaved a sigh. "He's been having nightmares Alice. About you. I hear him mumbling in his sleep."

"Oh no..."

"Oh yes. Almost every night I hear him."

"That's bizarre!" I exclaimed, quite suddenly, surprising myself.

"That's my brother."

"No. No, it's not. He's bizarre in other ways – in subtle charming ways. It's the little things with him. But nightmares – about me? That's big. Real big. Just because I rejected his confession—"

"You what?" Susanoo thundered. I could tell it took all his will power not to throttle this poor injured girl that very moment. He flexed his fingers, as if stretching the rage from his joints, and said through gritted teeth, "He confessed to you? And you straight up reject him?"

"No! I didn't mean to reject him. Well, no, I mean, I would have rejected him anyway if I had only been in the right min—" I was stopped short. This was the point where I could say no more, the point where I was physically unable to spit the words out no matter how much my mind willed it. Besides, I was seeing Susanoo's face begin to boil an ugly shade of red as I spoke. "Listen, no matter the circumstances I would have rejected your brother. It's just the way things have to go, you know?"

Susanoo's seething look was set upon my bed sheets and nowhere near my face. He couldn't even bring himself to look me in the eye. He did not like me at this moment. That much was clear. He grumbled darkly, "No. I don't know." To be honest, I didn't know either. Was it really the way things had to go? My runaway mouth seemed to think so.

I spoke, rapidly, not really sure to what words came from my mouth, feeling rather like a puppet with twisted strings, "I never intended to hurt him. Why would I? It was just a surprise, that's all. He grabbed me from out of nowhere and pulled me aside. He said he had been researching romance in the library and apparently he had been talking to you..."

At the mention of his own presence in my explanation Susanoo's ire seemed to diminish somewhat. He scowled, now most likely directed towards himself. He kicked my bedside table and the flower-filled vase atop teetered dangerously. "I-I didn't mean for him to spring something like that on you. I had just been asking him about you and suddenly he comes out saying things like 'when I am around her my stomach quivers and strangely it does not feel altogether bad' or 'I must work out a way to get Alice to talk to me again but I fear I will scare her away'."

His impression of Tsukiyomi was uncanny and I felt myself jolt because of it. No doubt this was a word for word account of things Tsukiyomi had said. That made it all the worse.

"You can see why I would then start grilling him about you. It felt like, maybe, there was something there. It's hard to tell with him and I didn't want to lead him astray if he didn't feel anything towards you..."

There was a pregnant pause.

"I just want him to be happy."

"Yeah, I do too." I agreed. "But I still don't think he could be having nightmares because of a rejection." Then, I thought I might like to say "I'm somewhat of an expert when it comes to nightmares" but the words were barred at my lips and instead I told him, in a moment of inspiration, "We don't even know if he actually likes me like that."

"True. It's hard to know what goes on in his head."

"I have a hard time working out what goes on in anyone's head here."

"Also true." He gave me a pointed look which caused me to fall silent in a strange sort of guilt. I would have told him about that night. I would have told him about my complete lack of control over what I did. I would have told him about seeing Balder transform after a jealous fit, becoming something far too terrifying and powerful. I would have told him how horrid it was that I had liked it. But, as I have said, it was impossible. When I tried to speak of it my tongue went languid and my head began to pound. There were things at work that I did not understand. This was another of the thoughts that I needed to think about. Not that thinking about it had got me very far up till that point. My mind just ended up going in circles.

All I could manage to say to Susanoo, in any vague reference to what had happened, was "Keep an eye on Yui, will you?" And naturally he would watch her. I knew how he felt about her. But I said this as the image of Balder's deadly light flashed through my mind. "A _close_ eye. Humans are brittle after all."

He stared – in confusion, in concern. He couldn't work me out and I was sorry for that, but I think he at least understood the importance I had placed upon my words.

We spoke some more (all topics were alleviating trivial things) and he left soon after.

* * *

_Bleeeeehhhhhh! What is life? Well, I'm here and updating for the first time in ages. I had intended for this chapter to be a super cool, super long mega chapter but because my life is currently downward spiralling into some very important exams I thought I'd just get this out to you. For my sake and yours. Mostly for my sanity._

_Next chapter (thatwasactuallysupposedtobeinthischapter): Alice thinks about magic, Alice thinks about Balder, Alice thinks about hurt trees and has a strange run in with Loki. So, yeah, look forward to that._

_Thank you to all you internet tiddlypeeps!_


	37. Tourism 37

**Tourism 37: You may have to dump some luggage if you pick up too many souvenirs.**

* * *

I soon realised that having to work out your issues without anyone to discuss them with was near futile. But I had little in the way of options.

Thoth let me out of the medical room a week later and I had not gotten any further in my pursuit of answers. However, I felt somewhat more grounded about the Tsukiyomi situation after talking with Susanoo. I still had many more troubling issues on my plate and, at least for a while, I could convince myself he had been muddled, just as I had been muddled. I could convince myself that he had become so caught up in understanding humans that he had forced emotions far beyond him. It wasn't too hard to believe. Convincing myself of such remained a temporary solution, but a temporary solution was better than none. So, quite calmly, I set Tsukiyomi to the back of my mind (with the passing notion that I would one day have to revisit him) while I focused on the bigger, more glaring quandaries.

From the moment I awoke, alone in the woods, subject of blood loss and trauma, I remembered my dreams. These dreams had never been so tangible. But now I remembered every damn one. A wall within my psyche had collapsed and the night visions had come pouring through in vast quantity. I hadn't really noticed until my first night unaccompanied in the first aid room. They had snuck to the forefront of my mind when I least expected it, just as I was trying to sort out my addled state. Somehow I knew they had always been there, but it was still surprising and perturbing. I could recall these strange dreams (and many times nightmares) vividly. They were painfully realistic at times despite the fact they couldn't be real. It was like I was watching a completely alternate childhood play out before my eyes. Every night I struggled with sleep, unsettled, and eventually slipped off into another lucid dream.

Yet, there were still problems I rated worse. After all, what's a dream? What could a dream be worth compared to losing all control over body and mind? I had called myself mad back on that night. I had told Hades that poor Alice Roth had slipped into madness. But that wasn't quite right, was it? Now that I had had the time to dwell on that horrid event my impression of my mental state had changed. In an abstract sense, for it was only abstracts that allowed me to have any semblance of comprehension, there was a fine veil before my mind and eye that shifted and rose, but also clumped together and twisted itself into dense knots. That night this figurative veil had shifted drastically and, for a blink in time, was gone entirely. In that moment the air had been thick with a sharp acidic taste – copious and coppery. _Lighter fluid, marmite, soot and fresh decay. _It had vanished quickly however and I realised that maybe some of what I had smelt and tasted could very well have been my own blood.

That moment – the instant Balder had torn through my stomach – had alerted me to the force that fizzled in the air when the veil shifted. _Magic_, _or something of the sort, _was the thought that had popped into my head as I sat, staring out of the window, in the medical room. But that is where I was left at a dead end. As sure as I was now that it was magic that had seized control of me (and still seemed to when I tried to talk of it), I couldn't work out a source. Zeus had already made clear his stance on the energy he though improvident to waste on Alice Roth and, if my stupid tattoo was any indication, his magic was surely painful and incredibly conspicuous. Zeus obviously was not often a fan of finesse. The other gods' power had been cut-off and I highly doubted the logical Thoth would have anything to do with it. Knowledge seemed to be the power he favoured and he was neither cruel nor furtive.

_Balder though, _came my whispers in the night, _he broke whatever authority Zeus had over him._

With his transformation Balder had become far mightier than Zeus. I could sense it, taste it even, and in some strange way the feel of it was rather appealing – a feeling I cursed viciously for my inability to understand. That was the problem though. I didn't understand this magic, but it was not like the veil. I considered that maybe his magic had cut through that fine screen before it quickly stitched itself back together. I was stumped again. I had nothing, nothing at all (except for a fear of Balder which could take its prestigious place right next to my gymnophobia).

Whatever had happened to Balder that night, it had been terrifying. No matter how much I had seemed to enjoy it at the time, in that alternate form of myself that I had since unwittingly began to label as Miss Wonderland (a name that sent chills across the back of my neck), it had not been fantastic. It had not been worthy of an encore. I never wished to see Balder that way again. _But surely Miss Wonderland does..._

I walked away from the medical room, Thoth watching me drift down the hall with his keen eyes. It hurt to walk but I hadn't let it show. Thoth would only keep me in there for longer, that or confine me to my room instead. I've never liked being cooped up. I needed to wander.

So I did. I wandered, through the grand gilded halls, past rooms filled with those insipid ghost students (a mere artifice of a different world), down the steps to the outside grounds where winter had nearly faded (for once the git had let a season go on uninterrupted) and headed to the outskirts of the woods. Eventually, I found myself at the place I had fallen unconscious at the Christmas market, behind the western side of the school, several paces past the tree line. I walked by a fallen tree, one that had been cut dead through the middle. That was Balder's damage. I crouched down at the shunted dirt where my body had lain and saw patches of congealed red in the dark clumpy earth. That was Balder's damage too.

"Alice," – I jumped – "what a coincidence seeing you here. Out for a stroll as well?"

I nearly fell face first into the blood patch from the shock, but I managed to use my momentum to shift the dirt so that the blood became hidden and as a result I landed, flipped, on my backside. I hissed through gritted teeth as a jolt of pain ran through my midsection. The interloper was Loki, _of course_. I rolled my eyes, heart still pumping a little too fast and my stomach falling into a spasm, as he stood a little ways off. He had clammed up, with his smirk drooping, as he stared, eyes dilated with what must have been alarm and unregistered guilt.

I threw an arm out to prompt him from his unresponsiveness, offering him an out in the form of a request for help, and said sarcastically, "Come on, Loki. We both know you stalked me out here."

I was surprised to see his eyes widen further, only a second, before he fell into his casual strut and approached me to help me up. We both knew I had inadvertently managed to hit the nail on the head but neither of us brought it up.

"So, yeah. I'm out for a nice nature walk." I told him awkwardly, as he pulled me to my feet. "Thoth finally let me out."

"Yeah. I'd heard you'd be getting out sometime soon, but Thoth wouldn't tell the class when because he didn't want everyone to swarm you like when you woke up. Clearly you wouldn't have minded though. You were lapping up the attention before." He tried to bring about that derisive tone he had so often used around me, but it wasn't quite what it used to be. It didn't have the same bite or twang. Instead, it sounded rather muted. He tried to hold himself as he always did, he tried to speak as he always did, but it just didn't have the same effect because, as he watched me brush myself off, something in his head was evidently conflicting. To what was conflicting I didn't know.

I replied flatly, a brow raised, "Yes, I was _dying_ for some good old attention. Literally."

His inner conflict only seemed to grow as an expression of remorse passed over his face. No god seemed to enjoy the idea of pain or fragility and stupid Alice Roth just kept on bringing it up. I really had to learn how to curb my tongue.

I changed topics. "I haven't talked to you since the Christmas market when you stormed off. I guess that was more me talking at you than an actual conversation though." I forced myself to be chipper and unruly, like I always was. It appeared both Loki and I were having trouble being ourselves. "How's life treating you, Loki?"

"S'alright..." he mumbled before looking up at me, disgruntled, "Look, about that night—"

"I don't remember anything!" I said, much too quick.

His eyes narrowed briefly, but then the smirk returned full throttle. "Yes, everyone knows how _little_ you know about that night." He stepped back a few feet and sat on one of the felled trees, one of the trees felled by Balder. "Well now that you've brought it up, maybe we can try and jog your memory together. It can be a little bonding session."

He sat there, with that stupid smirk, and patted the log, beckoning me to join him. My eyes darted about nervously for a moment and I hated that it was so easy for him to notice. He did not mention my sudden unease. Heaven knows he had many strange mood swings that I never brought up.

I had to wonder: was it coincidence? Was is coincidence that he sat on what was the wake of Balder's destruction so calmly, back to his usual simpering self? He had been there that night. He had known about whatever had overcome Balder beforehand. It had scared him. Yet, he sat on that log so simply. If you looked closely you could still see small singe marks across the torn bark.

Because Loki had flicked the metaphorical switch on his personality it became substantially easier for me to do the same. I bounded over to the log, grinning buoyantly. "Well I can't say no to a bonding session, Loki. But we shouldn't worry about me. I've had plenty of time to try to remember everything and haven't gotten anywhere. I think I should help you out instead."

Loki eyed me warily. "Oh really?"

"Yes really," I said, plopping myself down on the log.

"But I was looking forward to helping you out, Alice." He tried to be sickeningly genuine but I could almost hear the grating of teeth through his smirk. He was pushing his agenda and it was putting both him and me on edge. But I didn't let it show. "I've realised I like talking to humans. It's interesting." I bet it physically hurt him to grind that one out.

"Aww, see how much nicer you are when you solve your problems. You've learnt to accept that there are humans in your midst and you're even interested in them." It was very strange to reference my species in third person (even though I sometimes reference to myself in that way). "I'd like help you, Loki. It's the least I can do after all. You were there by the lake with the others. You helped me when I was injured. Now I'm gonna help you."

I didn't really know if he had helped me. I was just assuming and hoping in order to pull on his tiny, tiny heart strings. Luckily, I had guessed right. He stuttered, which I knew he hated, and his smug expression deflated somewhat. "I-I... I did. I guess we can talk about me. I was going to ask you for a suggestion before you interrupted me anyway."

I gasped and it was mocking, teasing, because that is as 'Alice Roth' as I could make myself. I wasn't sure if I wanted to be completely me at that time. It was hard to feel entirely like myself when Miss Wonderland could be lurking in a crevice of my mind. "You actually want to hear advice from me. How surprising! Last time I tried to give you my words of wisdom you went off in a strop. Actually, I'm seeing a pattern. I think you walking off in a strop is the problem. I've seen you do it a lot, you know."

"Words of wisdom!" Loki exclaims in disbelief, but then mollified himself as I aim him a sideward grin. He deemed me smarter than he let on. I was sure of it and he knew it. There was no point pretending anymore.

"Uh-huh. Wisdom. So Kiki, what was it you were going to ask?"

"Kiki?"

"Yep, take away the 'lu' and you get a 'ki'. Kiki." When he gave me a displeased look I told him, "We're bonding. You get a nickname for this exchange. You can give me one too."

"Take away the 'a' and you get 'lice'?"

"Oh ha ha," I drawled but smiled all the same. I wasn't as anxious now. I had moved the conversation away from me and he hadn't complained too much. I hoped he hadn't realised what I was doing. Maybe he just thought I was being the usual me. "Whatever. You can call me Lice. I don't mind. Just tell me your question."

"Okay, _Lice_. Here it is. Imagine that you're trying to help a friend—"

"Alright, I'm imagining."

He lets out an involuntary hiss. He was probably so used to the reaction around me that it probably just happened naturally now, despite the semi-friendly terms we seemed to be acting on. "Well done." he congratulates me dryly, before continuing. "This friend has issues and suddenly someone is trying to get involved in your friends business—"

"Do we really need to keep alluding to this 'friend'? I know who you're talking about."

"_Alice_," he growls.

"Right, right. Sorry."

"This person who is involving themselves – you need to stop them somehow, for your friend's sake, for their sake... So you pull them aside and pretend to take advantage of them, to lead them astray or scare them, and— Damn it! Is guilt always like this?"

* * *

I never fully processed the story. If I had, I may have had some forewarning.

* * *

I could only stare at Loki, speechless. It took me a moment to summon words and when I did they were so stupidly inappropriate. "Répétez, s'il vous plaît."

"What?"

Then the outrage came. "You took advantage of Yui?" I scrambled up from the log, mind turning to mush as I tried to make sense of what I had just heard. I needed to be sure I had heard right, which I had. The grounds were so silent. It was only me and him. I _had_ heard him right.

I made use of my standing position to bear down on Loki, looming over him to the best of my ability. Such a directly threatening stance was not something I had practice in so I probably looked rather pathetic really, but at least I had the upper ground in this argument. I wanted him to feel small. "Oh and here I was thinking you weren't some sick fuck. Silly me! I guess, then, maybe you did molest me before, huh?"

I felt my limbs trembling in the sudden arrival of pent up confusion and anger. For an instant, I thought that I now knew what it felt like to be Susanoo, but then the thought was gone because I was too busy aiming a kick at Loki's shin.

"Argh!" he cried, failing in pain and falling off the back of the back of the log. "No, Alice—"

"Kusanagi Yui. Of all the people!" I couldn't even conceive the thought. Yui, poor Yui: my fellow human in this lonely convoluted garden, the girl who I had bunked with since day one, the friend who had sobbed for me after my fatal injury. She was quite possibly the purest person I had ever met. What had Loki done to her? How had he touched her? I had to wonder if she had resisted his advances or obediently allowed them. Both notions were equally disturbing.

I kicked again, at the ground, and dirt sprayed everywhere as I turned on Loki. "Gods! Yes, gods like you, gods who don't know the limit and can't hold themselves back. Excuse me for the racism, but you're all the same. You being the worst of them all, Loki!"

By this point Loki had moved away, quite a distance from me now. He held up his hands, in a placatory manner. "You're misunderstanding, Alice. I said 'pretend'! Weren't you listening? I said 'pretend'!"

I was beginning to dither at the sincerity of his tone, but I was angry, I was caught up in the moment and, in the end, it was always a game between Loki and me. We could never truly pinpoint guise or truth, not when we put the effort in.

"You can't 'pretend' to take advantage of someone, creep!" I snatched up at twig from the ground and threw it at him. He managed to skitter out the way before it made contact, but I felt a distinct pleasure in seeing him in such a flap.

He must have realised he wasn't getting anywhere by trying to conciliate and so he converged on me, leaping over the log, just as I grabbed for another stick. He seized my wrists before I could throw and now I was stuck a step away from Loki with a thorny twig between us, jutting against our chests, scratching at fabric.

There was something wild in his eyes, something unloved, and it seemed so very authentic. I wanted it to be, gods, yes, I wanted it to be. I wanted something concrete. There were too many unknowns at that time, too much for me to think about. For once, I wanted something at face value. But this was the trickster, master of smoke and mirrors. I mirrored him. It was a loop in which we bounced off of each other, always reflecting, never stopping to absorb. In fact, I was always the mirror. Did I not see myself in Tsukiyomi? Did I not see myself in Hades? Did I not always play along? Always succinctly following the script... _Isn't that right, Miss Wonderland? _I wanted to claw at my own head. I wanted to scream. I wanted the thing in my head gone. But, _the show must go on_.

"Can you stop painting me as a pervert for a minute and listen?" Loki said and he looked so pained that there was no feasible thing I could do _but_ listen. "Thank you."

He stepped back, releasing me, and my twig fell to the floor. I watched it lie on the ground, counting down from ten – _deep breaths _– then I looked up. He was ready to explain when I met his eyes and I was ready beat on, forge ahead, continue, continue... "I didn't do anything to her. I just wanted to know, for sure. I wanted to catch her out. I thought she was the unsavoury type. I was convinced about her, but now... I'm not so sure anymore. I feel guilty. I've been cruel and she's none the wiser. I don't know how to deal with it."

"Start being nice to her, I guess. What else is there?" I sighed sadly and, after a beat of silence, voiced my question into the open air. "Why do we always fight, Loki?"

He didn't reply for some time. When he did, he tried to blasé, however, he did not seem so sure of himself and his words formed with the lilt of a question. "Because you burnt my crotch?"

"Yeah." I grimaced. "I did do that, didn't I? Weird."

"Instead of saying 'weird' you could always apologise."

"Yeah, no, of course. Sorry. I mean, it's just weird, right? That I did that. Kinda random."

"How can you even question the things you do? Aren't you always random?"

"I guess..." I said and, once again, brought up the fighting, because I really wanted an actual answer this time. "You know, someone once hinted that you fight with me because it's the only way you can show affection."

"Balder?"

I flinched at the name. "Yeah."

"Nobody knows better than Balder." He blew a puff of air, still coalescing into white in the waning winter. I imagined him to be blowing out the pretences we had held so dearly previously, now lost in the wind. "But, it doesn't matter, does it? We can still fight. This—" He gestured to us, the tense space we still hovered in. "—doesn't have to change anything."

"Sometimes change is good, Kiki." I intoned quietly. "I'm tired and this fighting is exhausting."

I was surprised to be laughed at, to see Loki chuckling away before me. To be honest, it was rather disturbing. It was much too out of place. "What? No, of course it isn't. Don't be silly, Alice. It's fun."

I wetted my pale lips, in a building agitation that Loki seemed unable to properly key into. He was stuck, smirking, brushing things off. This was his loop and I had been pulled into it. The fighting wasn't fun, not anymore. It was repetitive and too much. We both had our own baggage and I couldn't be expected to deal with it all. "I don't know what it is to you. I don't know if it's some kind of escape, or if it's a game, or if it's just your dodgy socialisation skills. Whatever it is, I don't want to be part of it anymore. I'm done with the competitions and the teasing. So, next time you see me, don't even try."

It was at that point that I stepped away. I brushed past him and it was sad, because I knew that in doing so I was sacrificing something else. As confusing and strange as it had been, for a while, our fights had been enjoyable (in their own messed up way). I had left Loki at the most open he had ever been and, with later reflection, I realised that probably wasn't good for his mental state. Yet, I had to do what was good for _my_ mental state.

I was so alone in this. I was trapped inside my own head and, to be honest, I think Loki probably felt the same way. Even so, I chose to ostracise him – just like Tsukiyomi. Who would be next? Hades? I only did it because it was easier. I couldn't deal with the drama, not with everything else I had to work out.

But really, wasn't I just becoming the spectator that Miss Wonderland wanted?

* * *

_So this is a thing that happened. I can't believe I did this when I should have been studying._

_Also, I've only really realised now that Alice and Loki's conversations are actually rollercoasters. Literal __rollercoasters. And now Alice is just throwing out all her friends like trash. Why Alice? Whyyyyyyy?_

_And thanks for the reviews. I'm liking the theories._


End file.
